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 |  Welcome to Whatsit's Wild World. |
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Sometimes I think we're all tightrope walkers suspended on a wire two thousand feet in the air, and so long as we never look down we're okay, but some of us lose momentum and look down for a second and are never quite the same again: we know. ~Dorothy Gilman The Tightrope Walker |
 I am sitting here in my nightgown pecking on the computer instead of being en route to work. Matt was called on to help take up the collection at church last night. He did a good job - I was proud of his little self. Only after church did I realize that his shirt was on backwards.  I manage to send him to school EVERY DAY with his shirt on correctly - why would I pick that particular time not to notice? Anna Claire went to the bathroom after church, and after a minute, we heard a screech. Turns out, she dropped her elephant down the drain. She has this tiny little plastic elephant that she got from somewhere. She's named it, and that elephant is her FRIEND, you understand. Sam had to take the pipe off and get it out. We are having our Thanksgiving with my mother Wednesday. That's because my two step-brothers are coming to have Thanksgiving with her Friday and she needs a break in-between the two of us. Why doesn't she just have all of us at once? No idea - she just prefers to keep the two families separate for some reason.So, Thursday we have been invited to our Music Minister's house - when they found out we were having our Thanksgiving on Wednesday, they invited us. Which was nice, but I didn't tell them that it suited me fine just to sit at home on Thursday. For YEARS I have been wanting to just be able to sit down and watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade without having to run back and forth and cook. But they aren't having dinner until about 4:00, so that works out. Plus, the kids like going to their house because they have a pool table, an air hockey table, and a trampoline. Hooray! Peace and quiet. Now - I'm off to do some serious goofing around for my first "official" day off. |
| My last class just left! Hooray! I have a few more hours before time to go home, but no more classes until after Thanksgiving! Every day since the middle of October, I have been taking a pen and crossing that day off the calender. And here I finally am - a week off for Thanksgiving! This is one of the things I looked forward to about coming to a regular school, getting regular school holidays. My assistant has gone to lunch. I am sitting here even as we speak with my MP3 player earphones in my ears. My evaluation went well yesterday. I have a thing about remembering what somebody says, so that I know what's important to them. The principal has mentioned the parts of the book several times in our conversations, so I knew that was probably a good thing to do. This may sound like a strange topic to have such importance, but it has the possiblity of being on "The Test." During the evaluation, she basically just sat there and listened and took notes. She showed a great interest in the worksheet that I gave. When I got through, she seemed to be pleased with what I had done. We haven't had our talk about it yet, but what it boils down to is that she will tell me what I did well and what I could do better on, and all I have to do is smile and say "Yes ma'am." And guess what? I did MENTION The Fifty States. Nada  put it in my mind. I used them as an example of what you might find in an appendix. I love being mischievous every now and then.  |
| I am being evaluated tomorrow. The principal is spending one hour in my room watching me teach. At 1:00. *it's just a job* *it's just a job* *it's juuuuuust a job* I'm not likely to get fired on the strength of ONE HOUR am I? |
Here is a nice, complaint-free blog for . . . well, she knows who she is.  I only have three more days to go to work before getting out for Thanksgiving Holidays. Friday is a half-day for the students, so even though we will have to be at work, being student-free is nice. Friday is payday, too, since it's the last working day of the month. I am going to inhale some chocolate when I leave work. Good thing my particular addictions are cheap: chocolate, caffeine, and books. Books are cheap because I get them at the second-hand bookstore and the public library. I haven't bought a new book in I-don't-know-when. Which is fine - I like it that way. Books that have been owned by somebody else have character, especially if there are notes in the margins. Hmmmm . . . *thinking* Oh yeah! I have a comfy recliner I can fall into when the end of my day finally shows up, and a snuggly dog to share it with me. Nothing like a little dog who loves you no matter what. Haha! I just read over what I wrote. Now I know why I like to complain - being positive is boring. As Dorothy Parker said, "If you can't say anything nice . . . come sit by me!" |
| If I were smart . . . . . .I'd figure out how to draw a free check every month instead of getting up at 5 AM every day so I can drag myself up to work to teach children who don't want to learn for a principal who doesn't appreciate her workers. . . .I'd come home and flop my exhausted body into the recliner instead of fixing supper for my family, who swallow whatever I cook and rush off to watch TV. . . .I'd move far, far away from my mother and grandmother. A friend of mine is the director for an English-speaking school in Russia - Siberia, in fact - and he was asking me if I didn't want to teach abroad. I have to admit it sounded appealing, just to get the heck out of the life I have now. I'm just tired, y'all. Not just tired, but also tired OF IT. Tired of what? You name it, I'm tired of it. I hate being this way. So, what the heck is up with y'all? |
| It's FR-EE--EZ-ING! It's about thirty degrees and windy. Br-rr. It's been a leeetle chilly, but not bad: just cool enough to give us a break from our normal hot and steamy weather. Now it feels like winter has officially come. My kids have all had a bubble bath. I love nice, clean-smelling children. Especially when they're in their pajamas and about to go to bed. Wimzy got up in bed with me this morning, laid flat on her back, and snuggled up. She went back to sleep like that, with all four feet stuck staight up in the air. Gas is $1.85. That's one advantage to living in Mississippi, everything is cheaper. Of course, the salaries are lower too. I most sincerely don't like brussels sprouts. I just threw this in to make number five. |
| Things I learned after I grew up: 1. How to say no. I am quite good at it now. The official name for this procedure is "Self-preservation Technique Number 1." 2. How not to answer questions. If somebody is trying to get information out of me I don't want to give, I just keep quiet. This is a great way of keeping the other person talking. You have to learn to be comfortable with silence. Most people aren't, so they will rush to fill the silence. What if they come right out and ask? My response: "No telling," a good old-fashioned Southern phrase. 3. I'm at least as capable as everybody else. I just learned this a couple of years ago, when I was in my mid-30's. It took me that long to get over hearing my step-father make me feel stupid every single day when I was a teenager. I still have to make it my business to keep this in mind. 4. My mother doesn't know everything. Actually, she taught me this herself, although not on purpose. She was constantly telling me do this, do that, I didn't do that right, this was the wrong thing to do, etc. Even the most petty things were subject to her negative opinion. Just by observation I could tell that everything she said wasn't necessarily so. She should have kept her mouth shut and not been so determined she was right every single time. 5. Be sure you're right, then go ahead. This is more of a character trait than something I learned. What I actually learned was that there is nothing wrong with being a snappy decision maker. |
| My grandparents spent the vast majority of their lives in Clarke County Mississippi. Quitman was "town" for them, although I'm not sure if they ever lived inside the city limits or not. By the time I came along, they lived 10 miles out of Quitman, right smack in the middle of what is popularly called "the country." A native of Quitman, Wyatt Cooper, married Gloria Vanderbilt. He was her fourth and last husband. He wrote a book called Families, which I had never read. I had forgotten that my mother had given me a copy. I cleaned out my bookshelves about a month ago, after which I took stacks and stacks of books to the public library. Haha, I know, that sounds funny, a librarian donating books to another library besides her own. The whole point of getting rid of them was so I wouldn't have to fool with them anymore. Anyway, I found my copy of Wyatt Cooper's book and added it to my "stack of stuff" to read. Here is a quote from the very first chapter that I wanted to share. To escape death, to cheat its cruel annihilation, we build monuments to ourselves; we establish empires; we collect memorabilia, accumulate clutter; we make books; we write our names in the sand; we leave little signs saying "I was here." But our real survival, the only immortality we can be sure of, is that part of ourselves we invest in others, the contribution we make to the totality of man, the knowledge we have shared, the truths we have found, the causes we have served, the lessons we have lived. I have been having a fine time feeling sorry for myself lately for several reasons: a husband who is totally dedicated to work to the exclusion of family; disgust with how my students behave; annoyance at the manipulation of my mother; the dependence of my small children. All of this has built up over the past months until lately I have felt that I was at the end of my mental, spiritual, and emotional resources. Anybody who has raised children knows what it feels like to think you have given - or that other people have taken - all you have to offer, and receive nothing in return. It's funny how a quote will come along just at the right time and knock you in the head. |
| I just called work and told them I'd be late. I needed to put a breather in between this busy weekend and getting to work. One thing I am going to do is actually sit at my kitchen table and eat breakfast - a rare pleasure for me. You see the other thing I'm going to do - a blog entry. My first class isn't until 10:00, so I have a minute. I didn't get Em the lava lamp, but I did LOOK at them. Right there next to the lava lamps was something I thought she'd like better. It's a little electronic light display thingy - pretty hard to describe, so I'll give you a link: http://www.zerotoys.com/newsite/products/StringinIt.htm Also, one day in church recently, my mind drifted off to what I could get for Em's birthday, and the following idea came to me, and I wound up doing it. My mother and grandmother both contributed, so it was from all three of us. We got her one of those round folding chairs with a pink cushion. I wasn't sure what they were called, but the tag said "Dish Chair" - my thought was because it looks like a satellite dish. To go with it, we got one of those extremely furry and fluffy rugs, as well as a throw blanket - both purple - and a whimsical lamp with a pink shade. My grandmother had a low glass-topped table she was no longer using to put the lamp on. Also, a little stuffed dog picked up at Dollar General for $2.00. So, now she has her own little personal space to sit and read, or whatever.. She loves it, and now I feel smug for thinking it up. Also, we had homemade chocolate cake -  - and ice cream. Plus she got two outfits, some pants and a shirt, and a purple windsuit.Oh, to be eleven years old and make out like a bandit on your birthday. |
| Emily's birthday is tomorrow. She will be eleven. I asked her if she wanted me to bake a cake or buy a cake. She gave me the big head by sayng that my cakes are better than the store cakes. What presents is she getting? No idea at this point. That's why I'm up early. I'm about to go to Wal-Mart before everyone else is up and just look around. She SAID she wanted a lava lamp, but now that we're down to the wire, that doesn't seem like something I want to get her. I'm going to look around and see what strikes me. One thing I know is that we are going to get her a windsuit - she wants one, but she will have to go with us so she can pick out the one she likes and try it on. I can't believe I'm old enough to have an eleven-year-old. Well, I shouldn't say that, because getting older never bothered me. Weird, I know, but I kind of LIKE getting older. The older I get, the further back I leave my childhood. That's a funny way to look at things, but that's how my brain works. |
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