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 |  My life in Tel Aviv. Welcome to Israel! |
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Shalom! I was born outside of Haifa, moved to Tel Aviv when I was twelve, and served in the Israeli Defense Force for two years. Now, I am a student at TAU. I hope I can show the world the humanity of my nation. We're not so different, after all.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Whoever destroys a single life is as guilty as though he had destroyed the entire world; and whoever rescues a single life earns as much merit as though he had rescued the entire world. |
| This entry is for reikidreamer who requested it. Health Care in Israel*: The government owns, runs, and oversees our biggest hospitals. We have what we call "sick funds", or government-funded insurance companies. Their names are Kupat Holim Clalit, Kupat Holim Maccabi, Kupat Holim Meuhedet and Kupat Holim Leumit. נתניהו אתה יכול להודות לרבים רפורמות אלה אם אתה תומך בו. הוא כבר השפעה עצומה. In 1995 the National Health Insurance Law was passed. Note that before passage of this law, almost 97% of Israelis** already had health insurance. So if you think American nationalized health care is superfluous, Israeli national health care was almost ridiculous. Here is how the National Health Insurance law works: 1. Every single Israeli must decide between one of the four sick funds. 2. These sick funds are not allowed to deny anyone any health coverage. They recieve almost unlimited government funding for anything they might need to satisfy patrons. 3. Health insurance in relation to these funds covers diagnosis, treatment, dental work, drug and alcohol rehabilitation, physical and occupational therapy, any hospitalization, psychiatric care, chronic disease care, and also supplies medical equiptment like wheelchairs or canes or whatever is needed. In addition to the four sick-funds, we have also the National Disease Control Center which works with public health and the spread of diseases infectious (like swine flu, right now), and the National Councils which moniter sick-fund activity and decide funding. Also every veteran is given certain benefits. And since military service is mandatory, most Israelis want for very little health-wise. But we are healthy people in general, if I am being honest. I like our health care system. *Not including occupied Palestinian zones such as Gaza or the West Bank, although there are excellent hospitals and medical centers within the West Bank settlements and in and around Jewish Jerusalem. **Not including any Israeli of Arab descent. Numbers reflect only Israelis of Jewish descent. העולם הולך להיות רע לא משנה מה אנחנו עושים. אנשים טובים הם אנשים טובים, אנשים רעים, אבל תמיד יהיה רע, לא משנה איזה חוקים הם עברו. הכי טוב שאנחנו יכולים לקוות הוא שילוב של הליך וחיזוק כך בתקווה בטיחות וביטחון ניתן להשיג. זה צריך להיות בראש סדר העדיפויות. |
| Bad mood. Not a good day. You know what, international community? אין מצבעל הפניםכוס אמק !!! I am so tired of other countries getting mad at us when we give suggestions at the United Nations, but then deciding that they have the right to criticize where our people live and where they do not live. It is a BARRIER it is not a WALL, and it exists because the West Bank is DANGEROUS. There are these things called suicide bombers, and from 2000-2006 they killed 1,000 Israeli civilians. So excuse us if we want to protect ourselves. ALSO we do not systematically execute Palestinians. The massacres at Sabra and Shatila were done by Christians, not Jews, but we took responsibility anyway. Everyone else can defend itself? That's nice. Thanks. So if the Canadians were sending missiles into Montana, the U.S. could fire back and get no international outrage. But if Israel fires back we're labeled Nazis? Really? Unbelievable. I am in a bad mood. The beach I want to go to is closed because it is "unsafe", and the cafe is too crowded, and my roommates are annoying me, and I do not like my classes on Monday. נשבר לי הזיןשבו"ז !!!!!! |
| Inglorious Bastards was the greatest American World War Two movie I have ever seen, except for Schindler's List and I don't think that counts. SO GREAT. I was like without breath at the end. I love seeing Nazis getting what they deserve. I really do. I like also to laugh at them. Somebody said once, "If we can't laugh at Nazis, who can we laugh at?" They were some of the worst people ever to walk the Earth. No consciences. No morals. No sense of the preservation human life. They were cruel, ignorant, merciless cronies. Anyway. The movie was fantastic. Had so much fun. Perfect for Israel: violence, war, sex, and Nazis getting slaughtered by Jewish-American soldiers  . And everyone is getting very political on WdC. I feel like I should not comment because I am not American. I feel like this would be disrespectful. Even if I disagree on some issues, especially immigration. I hate the idea of America closing its doors to new immigrants. I know there is a problem with illegal immigration, but why punish those who want only to come to the United States? The last time the United States established massive immigration restrictions it was catastrophic for the Jewish community and for people around the world. |
| 2:25 P.M. - Berlin Plane back to Israel tonight. Hopefully security won't take long. Normal classes resume soon. I learned several things from Austria and Germany this time around. (1) I have a big nose that I do not like and did not realize was so huge until I saw the nice sized noses here  , (2) I'm short, (3) Germans have fun, but Israelis have more wholesome fun  , (4) I cannot handle large amounts of alcohol, (5) Strudel. Is. Fantastic.Also, may the family of the late Dude Topaz find solace and blessings after his passage. A tragic life, but a memorable one. I can only imagine the crowds at his funeral in Tel Aviv today. May he be preserved in memory. EDIT: Back home  . But guess what? Germany is criticizing us now! GERMANY! What the hell. I am not happy. Israelis HATE when Germany criticizes us. They don't like the settlements? That's too bad. If only their fathers and uncles hadn't left millions homeless and in need of a safe place to live, huh? Come on. They're going to tell us where NOT to live? That is cute. Very nice, Germany, very ironic telling Jews where to live. That should go over wonderfully well. Stick with giving us free money and t-shirts. Humph. |
| 3:23 P.M. - Berlin I am now in Berlin with my old German friend Steffi. Last time I saw her was also in Berlin, on the exchange program in high school. Anyway, Steffi decided to introduce me to her family (again), her friends, and then some of her co-workers at a publishing place. This is what happened: Steffi: Hey, guys. This is Noa. Noa is from Israel. She's here visiting me. Friend 1: Israel? Nice to meet you! How do you like Berlin? Do you want anything? Here, have a drink. And you know what, let me buy you something to eat. No pork, right? No dairy with meat? How about a strudel? A strudel is good, right? You're very beautiful, if you don't mind me saying this. And I love your outfit! Israeli fashion is really awesome. Welcome to Germany, by the way! Steffi: Michael, this is Noa. She lives in Israel but she's here visiting for a few days. Co-worker: Oh, so you are Jewish? Great, that's great! Here, do you want anything? I have some chocolate. It's very good. Swiss, actually, from a business trip. You know what? Take all of it. Really. I insist, I insist! It is my pleasure. Wow, Israel...A fine country. Great people. Great people. And what beautiful weather all the time! Steffi: Gerta, this is Noa, my friend from Israel. She's here on vacation, visiting me. Friend 2: Oh, Israel! Israel is beautiful. I love the Israelis. Well, I mean not the terrorists--the suicide bombers, I don't love them. But I love the Israelis! I love your culture. It is wonderful to meet you! Hey, you should come to my place tonight. I'm having a little party and people would love to meet you! It'll be fun! How do you get people to fall all over you in Germany? Tell them you're Jewish. It's morally questionable but they're so eager to prove they're not Nazis they'll do whatever to make you happy. It's very charming and endearing. The German people are a lot of fun and they're very friendly. They're also very blonde and very tall! But I really like Berlin. Everyone keeps offering me beer and pastries . |
| 3:44 P.M. - Vienna Guten Morgan, alles! (Good morning, everyone!) Impressed by my German? I have come to realization. Vienna is beautiful, quaint, peaceful, and historic. Tel Aviv is loud, brash, modern, and energetic. Europe is nice, but I'll take Israel any day. And, speaking of being European: the top Swedish newspaper has discovered Israel's secret *shocl*. We kill Palestinians and harvest them for their organs. Yes, it is true. Thank you, Sweden, for letting the world know. In all seriousness, this makes me feel very angry. Is no journalist held to any degree of responsibility anymore? Next they'll be saying Israel wants Jerusalem because it wants to clone a swamp monster that lives beneath the streets. |
| 7:30 P.M. - Vienna! I speak three words of German aside from greetings: "Aber naturlich" (but naturally!), "Ich heissa Noa, und Ich komme aus Israel" (I am named Noa, and I come from Israel), and "Guten Apeit" (enjoy the meal). Going out for drinks tonight, and then seeing more of the city and countryside tomorrow. It's good to be in Europe again. I haven't been here in years. It's also nice to get away from Tel Aviv every once in awhile. Vienna's a good size city, but it's a lot calmer and people are quieter and Nasrallah doesn't fantasize about blowing it up. Aufwiedersehen! Update: Never go drinking with Germans. Or Austrians. I don't think they're going to let me back in that schbarig thing. We drink mostly wine in Israel. And we only drink it during Chanukuh. And it doesn't taste like that. |
| 8:00 P.M. - Cafe TOURISTS!!!! We get like fifty a year, if that, and I am very glad. Today I was getting falafel with a friend and we were behind this woman who was clearly a tourist because she spoke all in English. She orders falafel (pronounces it, "fAH-lah-fell"), the guy gives it to her after she pays, and then he goes to take my order. And the tourist is all offended! She says: "What? No thank you? That's very rude. You didn't even look at me. I just gave you business, sir." And the falafel guy (who makes like twenty shekels an hour, or four dollars an hour in American dollars) looks at her, and says, very rudely, "Shut up and eat your food." Here's the thing in Israel that I don't think Americans realize. Complaining about how rude someone was to you is absolutely not the way to make them respect you. If an Israeli is rude to you (and if you visit, someone will be rude to you within the first twenty seconds of your arrival), do not point this out to him or her. Do not ask politely for some respect. If an Israeli is rude to you, tell him where he can stick his shekels. Then he'll respect you. Also my new roommate is afraid of suicide bombers. Who the hell is afraid of suicide bombers in Tel Aviv? If they go off, they go off. Nothing you can do. You're either dead or you are not dead. You want to avoid the buses? Fine. But maybe a car will run you over as you walk to the Shuk. I don't understand people who worry and worry and worry. Maybe tomorrow you'll be dead. Who knows? Who cares? |
| 7:00 P.M. - Cafe I saw a Christian on the street corner. Trying to convert me. In Tel Aviv. In Israel. And so people are just not having this guy, right? Preaching about the glory of Jesus in the world's most heavily Jewish city. So people were yelling. Protesting. And this Christian, blonde and with blue-eyes, was acting all righteous, and calling us sinners, and damning us to hell. So my friend and I and our new roommate walk up to him and ask where he is from. He says he is from "Ohieo" (spelling?), in America. We told him he should not do this so loudly or people will be angry with him. He says he's trying to save people. We walked away. Hey, we warned him. I do not understand this about Christianity. Why do they want to advertise? Muslims do not do this, and Jews certainly do not. Why do Christians? It is very puzzling. My new roommate is slowing adjusting to life here, I think. She is coming out with us tonight . |
| 11:30 P.M. - Home Nasrallah (who I would personally enjoy Krav Maga'ing) has announced that if Beirut is attacked, Lebanon will bomb Tel Aviv. Why Tel Aviv? Because there are too many Arabs in Jerusalem, and he cannot spell the names of any other Israeli city. No Arabs in Tel Aviv, so he can be guilt-free and just kills Jews in the name of A'llah. He says, "Hezbollah is able to hit every city in Israel, and I repeat: if they hit Beirut, we will attack Tel Aviv." You know what, Nasrallah, you idiotic pig? Come and get us! I dare you to hit Tel Aviv. Lebanon will be destroyed overnight. You think you can destroy Israel by bombing one of its cities? Think again! That is the best way to unleash all the fury the IDF has to offer. You are foolish, ignorant, and so full of hot air your head will explode. If the Lebanese people choose to see Hizbollah as their leader they will lose the support of Israel forever. Think twice before you make that move, Nasrallah. Drama, drama here in Tel Aviv! My new roommate must be questioning her sanity for moving here... |
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