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For the avoidance of doubt... Yes... I definitely have an opinion... |
 Welcome to my Blog!! Having an opinion is better than not having a thought of your own. I have many of both.... Pull up a pew and grab a hot, steaming mug of your choice. |
| Prompt: All the world is made of faith, trust and Pixie dust. **** I’m not sure if the world is made of faith, trust and Pixie dust, but I think humanity is built on it. Most people believe or have faith in something - we just don’t all agree on what (which seems to be an issue for some people). I think faith goes further than just religion – which I am not a huge fan of. I think the world turns on our faith (and trust) in each other. All of our connections are driven by our faith and trust in the people in our lives. It’s incredible fragile and delicate, but also surprisingly resilient – like a spider’s web. We spend our lives creating a network of people around us which constantly needs to be fixed or rebuild depending on the ebb and flow of life – it’s our own, personal world. Evolving and changing – like us. We are like busy little spiders, constantly spinning – no wonder I am tired all the time. What we create can be beautiful if we catch it in the right light and take the time to appreciate it – usually in those quiet moments, just after dawn, after the dark and the cold. We see the friendships and relationships glistening like diamonds – a reminder of our important they are to us. There are moments in my life I know I wouldn’t have gotten through if it wasn’t for those relationships. When I was at my lowest, I put my faith and trust in them, without truly realising I was doing so, or how vulnerable I was. I was able to lean on them. They gave me their strength when I had none of my own – willingly, gladly, without question – if that isn’t pixie dust, I don’t know what is. It’s those moments that reaffirm my faith in humanity. The world needs it’s pixie dust. |
| Prompt: What drains your energy in your life? And in what ways can you stay grounded in stressful situations? **** People – people drain my energy on a daily basis. I am actually a very good conversationalist (or can be if I decide to be social). I can be witty and charming. The life and soul of the party. Make everyone feel wonderful about themselves. Heard. Validated. But then I must retire to a dark room and hide from any form of human interaction. Socialising drains my battery. And my patience – which isn’t very high to begin with. It takes a lot of energy, particularly with people I don’t know or like. My dilemma is that my face has subtitles and a voiceover. There is no misinterpreting the message once the battery is at zero – it is written in every eye twitch and raised eyebrow. I often wonder if today is going to be the day I get fired after group calls at work – or if anyone is concerned about my eyes rolling… out of my head… when we have to listen to another over inflated, ego who is too preoccupied with self-importance. I do not hide my emotions or thoughts well. I have learnt to bite my tongue – it’s hard, because the sarcastic side of me has witty comebacks locked and loaded 99% of the time. Yes, I am one of those people. The ones that deal with stress with British sarcasm and a dry, dark and twisted sense of humour (usually combined with tea, chocolate, or both). It’s an acquired taste (the attitude not the hot beverage or sweet treat). I also cannot think of anything worse than wasting my time with people whose company I do not enjoy. I am too old for that. I have comfy PJs and slippers to be in. My level of tolerance - or selfishness - in the matter has got more severe with each passing year. And it is something I fully embrace. |
| Prompt: “In May, anything seemed possible. If only I could learn to harness time itself. To make every month like May! Or, perhaps, to live backward in time, so that whenever the end of the month arrived, I could turn May right around and live it all over again.” ― T.A. Barron **** There are never enough hours in the day. The ability to harness time itself would seem to be a gift on the surface, although I wonder if it would just lead to being more burnt out as we inevitably try to squeeze more into our days. Is that what achievement is? Doing more, or as much as you can? In the Northern Hemisphere May is when Spring is in full swing – Summer just around the corner. The days are getting longer and warmer. There is a sense of optimism that comes with that. We’ve just come out of “hibernation” and the cold barren wasteland of winter. Everything is possible. Everything is full of life again. In terms of the seasons of our life. May may represent young adulthood. When we are starting to find ourselves. There is still so much life yet to live and the pathways are not yet set in stone. It’s an exciting time when we can experiment and make mistakes. It was probably my favourite time – mid to late twenties – it’s when I met my husband. It’s when I started to careless about other people’s opinions too. We often have less commitments and are only responsible for ourselves. To be able to relive that time over and over, to perfect the life we want, is an enticing idea. Maybe that is what T.A. Barron means? I now live in Australia, so I’m about to enter those darker, moodier months (which I love – as I am also dark and moody). I am entering the Autumn of my life. Full of colour but starting to creak at the seams. I’m originally (NH) an autumn baby… so I tend to lean towards the storms, comfortable with weathering them. |
| Prompt: Mothers Did you ever believe that mothers really had eyes in the backs of their heads? And what about mothers in spirit? Was there anyone in your family or among friends who acted as a spiritual mother to you or to someone else that you know of? **** When I was very young, I was always amazed at how my mother seemed to know EVERYTHING. There was very little I could hide from her. I did try... As I grew up, I realised it was never just her - there was a network of mothers, aunts, best friends, and nosey neighbours twittering like birds over who's child had done what. It made us kids get creative. Which I know was not what they were hoping for. As a young adult, I realised just how much she knew and let me get away with. Letting me think I had gotten away with something or managed to pull the wool over her eyes. There was no wool. She had 20/20 vision. I'm not sure how she decided what stuff to let go of, and which to take me to task over - it was possibly a safety issue. Or more likely which stuff would reflect the worst in her. As a mother of two I now have a new perspective on it, because my son will die on a hill over something that I KNOW he did. On times he is so convincing - it is scary. Others, I wonder if he even engaged his brain to come up with that excuse. I made the mistake of once flippantly saying, "If you are going to lie to me, at least make it believable." He took this to heart. Feeback rather than a reprimand. I knew would regret it as soon as I said it. It must be a rite of passage. Or payback... Possibly both. As kids we forget that our parents were once our age. And kids are kids no what the generation. Same drama, different decades. |
| Prompt: Eight climbers die on Mount Everest during a storm on May 10, 1996. It was the worst loss of life ever on the mountain on a single day. Author Jon Krakauer, who himself attempted to climb the peak that year, wrote a best-selling book about the incident, Into Thin Air, which was published in 1997. Every year despite the book about the deaths that occur each year climbing people pay thousands of dollars to climb Mt. Everest. If you had the money would you try or not? What do you think the fascination is with climbing? **** I wouldn't climb Mount Everest even if I was paid $,$$$,$$$ to. I know my limitation. I either wouldn't make the submit or I'd never make it back - at least with all my toes. I have no interest in proving myself to a mountain. The mountain wins!! It's the same with free diving. Not for me. I've had my adrenaline - make me feel alive - moments in my late teens and earlier twenty with bungee jumping and skydiving. My body is not the same. It no longer bounces back. It takes longer to recover. I'd much prefer to go on adventures from the comfort of my sofa, in my PJs, with a hot cup of tea in hand. "Everest is littered with the bodies of fit, ambitious people - stay safe, stay lazy..." As for others and their fascination, I can only think it is for the sense of achievement. Of completing something that so few human beings get to do. To be in that select group. And good for them. No one should or can take that away from them. But, I'd still rather a mug of hot chocolate and a documentary on the climb. |
| Prompt: passion, wit, common, celebration, information, extraordinary, and mystical. **** Passion - is what I have for writing and for reading. There was a time after my father passed that I lost that passion - not because I didn't like it anymore, but because it felt like a little part of me died when he did. Or at the very least, got lost in the grief. It's taken me a while to find it again. To find the space in my life to allow for that passion again. Wit - is what, I hope, my writing is full of. I like characters full of personality. I hope the ones I create pop off the page with enough sass, wit, and sarcasm that it makes the reader grin... if not laugh. I personally laugh my arse off while I'm writing some of the dialogue - I seem to have a personal infinity with grumpy, sarcastic demons - I'm very good a channelling them. But also, I hope people get a sense of who I am - like here in this blog. Common - also equates to normal. We need to understand that we are not alone. That we all suffer from the common writer's aliments - writers block, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, dyslexia, life getting in the way, throwing commas around like they are confetti... Celebration - is what I/we should do more of. Celebrate more. We finally had the balls to enter a competition (big high five), we won runner up in a WDC comp (cup of tea for me), we managed to wash, dry, sort and put away the laundry (well deserved chat-up with the book group). The celebration doesn't have to be big - as long as we recognise the achievement. Information - is what I seek. I am constantly googling... well... everything: The name of a particular knife blade; The alternate name for wolfsbane; Celtic mythology; and How do you pronounce that... I like to google and find stuff out, because even though most of what I write is fantasy - I still like for it to be grounded in reality. And there is a lot that I do not know. Extraordinary - is what I strive to be or strive to create. It's something that I am constantly working towards. Learning to become. Not as a person - because my husband and kids already think I am (bless them), but as a writer/artist. And not for the entire world. I'd settle for a handful or people who love something I created and with whom it had an impact - however small. Mystical - is the subject matter I like to write about the most. The supernatural fascinates me, especially witchcraft; it may be because I grew up on stories of Morgan Le Fey and Merlin. The myths and legends from across Europe feel so alive in our history and have buried themselves deeply in my psyche. It's in the bedtime stories (brother's Grimm) we were told as children (I still remember the real stories...not the Disney version...), it's in the architecture (gargoyles on churches and cathedrals), the old wives' tales and superstitions (throwing salt over your shoulder), and in the things we celebrate - Christmas (Yule), Easter (Ostara), even Halloween (Samhain) - and that's before we even get to the juggernauts of Norse and Greek mythology - it's hard to escape. But equally easy to see how it captivates and offers respite and escapism. |
| Prompt: I believe in me and am grateful for what I have. **** I have always been very secure in what I am capable of. I wouldn’t class myself as overconfident, I am well aware of my short comings. I am realist. I know what I’m good at. I know what I’m not. I try not to let being “bad” at something stop me from having a go – especially when if it’s something new. I know there will be times that I am not as good as I can/could be, or remember being (youth is wasted on the young – mental experience v aging body = annoying). There will be times I make a complete mess at something – even if I have done it a hundred times before (baking brownies or reverse parallel parking…). I also know there are others just as good or better – like my husband, who beats me at anything remotely sporty….and that ok (although the husband thing is annoying at times and I may throw my toys out the pram on occasion). I love murdering a good karaoke song – I can hold a tune, but I am never going to be the next Kylie, Swift or Debbie Harry. I can cook (haven’t poisoned anyone yet) but I’m not Gordon Ramsey. And I have no inclination to be. My mother instilled a level of perfectionism that, I admit, I battle with. I am competitive by nature. I want to succeed. I like being recognised as good at something – I love it when someone likes/loves a story I wrote. But I know that there is more to life. That it’s ok to struggle. And that sometimes, the best times can be when you fail and get to laugh at yourself. It was only as I got older that I truly learnt that last part. My husband often laughs at my confidence/ego during job interviews. I back myself 100%. I am more than capable at everything on the job specs I apply for. Any company would be lucky to have me and I’m interviewing them as much as they are interviewing me. I know I am good at what I do. I have been doing it for 15 years and I have handled many different types of projects/bids, and navigated a variety of different hurdles/challenges that inevitably come along with them. There isn’t a lot that would throw me through a loop or make my panic. And I have worked hard to be that confident – many late nights and long hours. The belief in myself is warranted. That being said, I am grateful for every path I have had the opportunity to journey down. I am grateful for what I have collected over my years on this earth; family, friends, memories, and experiences. They have all taught me a lot about myself, who I want t be, and the world around me. Good an bad I wouldn’t be me without them. And I genuinely like being me. |
| Prompt: If you look the right way, you can see the whole world is a garden. **** I don't think the world resembles a garden. At least, not what I think of when I hear the word “garden” – even wild gardens. I can understand why it could be considered a microcosm in comparison to the wider universe. But a garden, that is too mundane for what the world is. What it contains. I think gardens resemble the world – a snapshot of it – they are a reflection of what we admire… and perhaps a little of what we want to control. They say far more about us than they do about the world. The world is wild, and raw, and dangerous, as well as beautiful and delicate, with a multitude of landscapes; that yes, can be mimicked and replicated, but not altogether in one cohesive space. Not successfully. And even those aspects that are – feel muted in comparison. The world isn’t manicured or planned. It isn’t orchestrated. It's more water than land. I don’t know of many gardens where the pond is bigger than the plants. We let ourselves think we are in control of it, and yet time and time again Mother Nature shows us that we survive and thrive at her grace. A garden survives and thrives by ours. So maybe, the world is Mother Nature’s Garden, and we are the equivalent and an ant infestation she is putting up with until we start to impact everything around us. |
| Prompt: “Something must have gone awry with the programming. I have no idea where or when we are.” Steven Decker, The Balance of Time. Do you think there is programming in our existence and do you ever feel like Steven Decker with all the goings on in this world? Well, it certainly feels like we are living in the matrix on occasions, or that I've woken up in a completely different time... space... reality... with what is happening in the world today. Though I do have serious questions about the architect/programmer's mentally stability if this is indeed the case. They must try harder. The cracks are starting to show. The stupidity of politicians or people with power always astounds me - as does the public's inability to read between the lines and see the overly hyped promises - based on the politician's own delusion of grandeur - for what they are. Yet these are the people "we" have chosen who steer our ships. It's terrifying. Many of them should have their licenses revoked because they cannot seem to see the iceberg/asteroid that is directly in our path. I swear some on them steer into it. Sometimes our only options are to cling on for dear life and hope there are enough lifeboats. The alternatives of jumping ships (frying pan and fire come to mind) or calling for a mutiny (I think I could pull of a (space) pirate) are far too much effort and slightly too scary. There are also times in my own life that I wonder "how the hell did I ended up here", and I'm not just talking about my sense of direction. Carefully laid out plans that are often thrown through a loop by seemingly outside forces, or my kids suddenly coming down with something - often something snotty... a preview of my future a few days later when I have a moment to collapse and take a breath. Or, things I just didn't account for (usually people actions/reactions - turns out I am not psychic) that are competing for the same space or path as me. Apparently, there is a race - it's just none of us are sure if its egg and spoon, three-legged, or wheelbarrow. The question of Fate often rears its head - and I love a good "it's your fate" novel. I LOVE chosen ones, soulmates, and it's your destiny... as long as they are not about me, because I am a control freak and don't like the idea that my life is pre-programmed. I will rebel and start a revolution - even if it's just in my head. I like the underdog story and the girl that can't be contained... far more for myself. My stubbornness often flares up whenever I am TOLD something of this nature; stubbornness that I am preprogrammed with from my DNA and upbringing. And yet I am firmly the captain of my ship - The Good Ship Seffi - and long may she sail!!  |
| Prompt: “It was only a smile, nothing more. It didn't make everything all right. It didn't make ANYTHING all right. Only a smile. A tiny thing. A leaf in the woods, shaking in the wake of a startled bird's flight. But I'll take it. With open arms." Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner. What is this quote saying to you, and how and why do you think a smile can be so important? **** When my son was about 13 weeks old and my daughter was two, I went shopping with them to get the weekly food shop. It was the first time I had ventured out, by myself, with both children. I was overly optimistic. Everything was going to go smoothly. I was not on the verge of a nervous breakdown induced by lack of sleep and post-pregnancy hormones/emotions... AT ALL... I was wrong... The kids decided that the supermarket was THE perfect place to pitch a fit. There were tears. There were tantrums. There were even a few bottles, dummies, and toys launched around the isles. It was loud! We found ourselves centre of attention. People looked. Stared. Shook their heads. Whispered not so quietly at how much noise my kids were making - "it was ridiculous". I wanted to curl into a hole and never come out. I certainly would NEVER be showing my face in there again - without a heavy disguise. But in amongst all of the, "perhaps in my head", judgement, I clocked eyes with another mum. We had never met before. I can't even remember what she looked like. We looked at each other and she just smiled. A small smile. No grand gesture. A simple smile that spoke volumes and said: "You've got this.", "We've all been there.", You're doing great." And I smiled back - in thanks, relief and everything else in between. It was so small and seemingly insignificant. She didn't get anything out of the interaction. But it wasn't just a smile to me - it was acknowledgement and a gentle encouragement. It felt like a hug. And it stopped the tears - which believe me, were ready and willing to stream down my face. It is something I have never forgotten. Especially when I see parents of young kids running the gauntlet out in public. It's something I now make sure to offer others. It may be just a smile. Something small. But it can mean the world to someone and give them just enough to keep going. |
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