For the avoidance of doubt... Yes... I definitely have an opinion... |
![]() Welcome to my Blog!! Having an opinion is better than not having a thought of your own. I have many of both.... Pull up a pew and grab a hot, steaming mug of your choice. |
| Prompt: "When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?' " Sydney J. Harris. In what ways and under which conditions do you think life can be hard? *** I think Sydney J Harris should mind his own business. It really isn’t for him or anyone else to comment if someone else is experiencing a tough time or thinks that life is tough. Yes, perspective is always a good thing, but life can be hard or difficult in a multitude of ways that might not be obvious to an outside observer; physically, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically – I’m sure there are many more “allys” that could be added to this list. I know he was from a different generation – he died in the 80’s – the amount of turmoil he witnessed and experienced during his life – two world wars, the cold war and the Cuban missile crisis, the civil right movements, the Great Depression, the Nuremberg trials, Sputnik, Vietnam, possibly even Chernobyl. As a journalist, I have no doubt that he heard many harrowing stories, as well as many inspiring ones. And mental health wasn’t really a consideration. Let’s be honest, if it wasn’t physical it didn’t come up on most peoples radars. But today is different. Today we know better. I have no doubt that there are many others that are having a relatively tougher time in comparison to me at any given time; I’m not starving, I’m not in an abusive relationship, nor do I worry for my safety, I am not worried about medical care or what will happen if I become ill, I have friends and family who love me and are there for me. But, none of that takes away the fact that there are times where life is hard. When I lost my dad – I still had a house, a job, a husband, friends, family – but none of that made it any less tough to function even remotely as I normally would. When we emigrated and had to rebuild a life in another country (even though it was our choice) it was hard; hard work, tiring, and sometime lonely. To dismiss or diminish someone else’s hard times is cruel at best and dangerous at worst. |
| Prompt: "Her own thoughts and reflections were habitually her best companions. " Jane Austen *** Jane Austin grew up in a very different time period. Society was very different. The world was very different. It was harsher, particularly towards woman. How the world looked at, and perceived women was very different. It was very much a "man's world". Women had hardly any rights. Unless they were a widow, they didn't control their wages, or "own" their homes. Everything defaulted to their husbands. It's why marriage was just a pivotal event. Jane Austin wrote about those times in her novels and was influenced by her own experiences and the lives of those around her. It's largely why they are still popular today. What's unsettling is that many of the threads that we see in Austin's novels are still prevalent into today's society as well. I can't remember how many times in my twenties I was asked if I had a boyfriend, or was told 'better hurry up, you don't want to be left on the shelf',,, Seriously, the shelf was a wat better option most of the time. In that environment or time, when a woman's thoughts or opinions were often dismissed or ridiculed, I can understand why her own thoughts and reflections were habitually her best companions. Especially when there are consequences for voicing differing thoughts. What's funny is that the thoughts and reflections of the women in Austin's generation led to the feminine right movements. They began to push back and use their voices. Unfortunately, it's not hard to imagine living in a world and being deemed less because of gender, race or ethnicity, political views, or religion. Having to fight harder for positions of success. Having to consider how you articulate something just so you aren't told you are being emotional or aggressive. Having to justify your choice of having children or not, or going back to work instead of staying at home with them - no, I am not any less of a mother just because I chose (I use that word loosely) to go back to work, I am still very much a full-time mum, thanks... As a child I often played on my own and I was ok with that. I was quite happy being in my own head on times - still am. It's much quieter. Less argumentative and judgemental. Ever so slightly scatty. |
| Prompt: I don't understand how anyone can live without one place of enchantment to turn to. *** A 'place of enchantment' will probably look very different to each of us. We'll likely even use very different terminology when referring to it - safe space, place of inspiration, escapism, quiet place... I think we all have one, in some way, shape, or form; somewhere or something we can turn to. For me, it means a space/place that can enrich and sooth my soul. I have many places I can get lost in or retreat to depending on what I need at that point in time; it could be music, books, movies, nature, just daydreaming, or a coffee date with friends. I can get lost in it all and each one can be a balm, inspire me, allow me to collect my thought, puzzle through a problem, or simply allow me to shut everything else out - each one providing its own unique benefit. I have often thought about what my ideal writing sanctuary would look like. What place would inspire me to write, or not distract me...? I have Olympic level procrastination skills, so the distraction factor is just as important as the inspiration factor. Would it be a library with floor to ceiling shelves full of special editions - each one its own little world of enchantment? A study with an old-fashioned writing desk and a large comfy chair to sit in? Somewhere with an endless supply of hot tea and snacks? A room with a view - out to sea or a mountain scape. Somewhere quiet where I can hear myself think and be Seffi - not just a mum... a wife... or a colleague... at least for a brief moment. Recently, I disappeared into books to help deal with my grief. I think I'm up to about 132 books this year, and that's not including a few re-reads. Reading gave me a tether or anchor to navigate the loss of our family pet. It didn't stop me from grieving, but when I felt like I needed space from it, I picked up a book. I think concentrating on the words and exploring someone else's world and emotion was enough to stem the tears. There have been a lot of late nights - I suffer from insomnia, which was well and truly in full effect recently - and reading gave me something to do at 03:00. I've done something similar with Music. But music has also helped when I have suffered from writer's block. There is a song for every emotion. I lean towards rock and metal, which can end up being quite heavy when I'm feeling particularly emotional - or if I have to really concentrate. I find that the emotive quality of music helps me articulate, channel and process my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it can be a single line in a song that will inspire me or give me a breakthrough. |
| Prompt: Heart and the Ocean - “Your heart is like the ocean, mysterious and dark.” Bob Dylan In what ways is your heart like the ocean? Are you aware of every single thing that your heart holds inside it? *** I have to be honest, I first thought this was the quote from Titanic… Bob Dylan forgot the “and dangerous” part about the ocean. Interestingly, ‘mysterious, dark, and dangerous’ also describes my taste in book-boyfriends… The ocean is vast – as is the ‘hearts’ capacity to love – which is what Dylan is talking about. I doubt he was referring to a physical heart, though you could argue the heart is as vital to our own survival as the ocean is to the world. There is no life without it. At least, one worth living in. Conveniently the same can be said about our metaphorical hearts. The poetic symmetry has a undisputable elegance to it. Love, like the ocean, can be many things depending on… well everything. The ocean is possibly the most powerful force on the planet, and yet it’s affected and influenced by everything that goes on around it: weather (though this is a circular affect), pollutants, and the moon… a possible tangent to friends & family, trauma, and hormones. Love can be all consuming, alluring, and dangerous. It can be calm and enduring. Tempestuous and ferocious. Unexplored and uncharted, yet feels like home. A force of nature that’s hard to steer against. Affected by outside forces that we have little control over. And sometimes, full of scary ‘monsters’ and wrecks from our past… no? Just me then… And sometimes it’s full of sunken treasure. It’s a good comparison. I don’t think anyone could successfully audit a heart. It’s too messy. I think it’s a bit like Mary Poppin’s bag… it’s much bigger on the inside and holds so much more than you think it does; you keep pulling out random crap that you completely forgot was there. Sometimes it’s a nice surprise or memory, other times it’s like you just found one of the kid’s half chewed sweets, half wrapped up… and you pull that universal face of disgust. My point is, it’s rare that you swap one love out for another. Your heart just keeps expanding and filling up with different experiences and people as you navigate life; spouses, parents, siblings, kids, pets, friends, best-friends, ex-boy/girlfriends, places, and hobbies. The things you love and that make you feel alive. There is room for it all. |
| Prompt: "Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else even cared." Tupac Shakur. What does this quote mean to you and what kinds of images does it bring to your mind? *** I am an 40-yr-old white woman who has had many privileges and freedoms in my life and who prefers Rock to Rap. I knew who Tupac Shakur was, how he died, but I never listened to his music. So, I don’t presume to know him or much, if anything, about his lyrics. To me, this quote means hoping/wishing that a person that survived and thrived despite the harsh environment, or challenges they faced, is seen and appreciated for their resilience, perseverance and strength – even if they were/are often seen as delicate or wouldn’t make it. It’s acknowledging the hardships and efforts it takes to ‘make something’ of themselves when perhaps they came from poverty, or violence, or when the world has written them off simply because of the colour of their skin, or where they happen to live, or who their family are. For Tupac, I think he was speaking to those young, black or minority kids who had/have a lot of things stacked against them to succeed. To inspire them and give them hope that ‘beauty’ or ‘success’ can flourish even in the harsh environments they might find themselves. |
| Prompt: Salt. "There must be something strangely sacred in salt. It is in our tears and in the sea." Khalil Gibran. Why, do you think salt is so important and necessary, and in what ways? And why do even so many desserts, such as cookies and cakes, call for salt? *** Salt is one of the most important minerals in existence – especially for humans and our civilisations. And, it has one of the most amazing and fascinating histories. There is strong evidence that humans realised it’s importance as far back as 6050 BC, where they boiled salted water to extract it. For thousands of years, it has been used: Pagans, as well as other religious and cultural communities, also believe that it has many, many magical properties. This is why you will find it used in many spells, practises and rituals to ground, cleanse, purify and even enhance - people, objects, and spells; for example, its ability to absorb negative energies and create a protective barrier around your home (such as across windows and entrances – or demon traps in Supernatural…). Salt and its uses in magic: |
| Prompt: “There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.” ― P.G. Wodehouse. Think about your friends for a minute, do you share the same taste in literature? Maybe movies? Maybe food? What makes your friends special to you? *** I'm old. Kinda. I have certainly been around the sun enough to have collect many different groups of friends, each with their own unique interests - to the point that you'd be forgiven in thinking I have split personalities.... not just one... many. What makes a friend special is the experiences that we share together. Yes, we may have similar tastes in literature, art, music, movies, food, or sports. But it doesn't have to be all or nothing. And it's not what friendship is based on - at least not the ones that last. I love debating what's better... Star Wars or Star Trek, or who could lift Mjolnir, just as much as I like talking about moon phases and why I think the crows outside my house are my spirit animals - yes, I have my own murder! I love reading about Welsh, British, and European folklore, as much as loosing myself in a Stephen King novel. I have friends that cover the different facets of my personality; the loud, the crazy, the quiet, the creative, the dark sides of me. Each phase of my life has held different challenges, "hardships", and lesson that needed to be learnt. It's the people who have survived those baptisms of fire with me that hold the title of friends. Surviving (high)school, college, broken hearts, betrayals, work at different companies, kids.... There is a different type of friends: It's the later that gets to see all of me; the good, the bad, and the ever so slightly twisted. I guess that's what makes a friend special - the ones that you let see behind the curtain and they love you anyway. |
| Prompt: “To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."― Theodore Roosevelt. Your thoughts on freedom of speech with all that has happened recently with Jimmy Kimmel. *** I am an outsider. I don’t really understand American politics. I hear a lot about the amendments. I hear terms like ‘freedom of speech’ and ‘right to bear arms’ banded around in a multitude of videos, podcasts, posts, and articles. My opinion doesn’t matter as much as that of those of you living in the USA. But, I can give you my outside opinion. I don’t understand how people can rally behind the second amendment, which I think is the ‘right to bear arms’, but then be ok when the first amendment on ‘freedom of expression’ is continually railroaded by the guy that’s supposed to lead you. Full disclosure, I really, REALLY, dislike the guy. Every time I see him on TV or he walks up to a microphone, I am overwhelmed by my distain for the guy. Honestly, I am still amazed, confused, and perplexed as to how he became president, not once… but twice. Surely there had to be a better Republican option than him. He’s a liability every time he opens his mouth. All I can say is thank the stars he’s yours – not that ours are a huge improvement, but I have to believe they are at least marginally better. Back to freedom of speech. I don’t think anything that Jimmy Kimmel said warranted him being taken off the air. I think that’s insane and ridiculous. It was satire. What was said: “We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it. In between the finger-pointing, there was grieving. On Friday, the White House flew the flags at half-staff, which got some criticism, but on a human level, you can see how hard the president is taking this.” He then showed a clip of the president saying he was taking it… “I think very good”, before the president whittled on about the construction of a ballroom at the White House….. Kimmel, called him out saying; “Yes, he’s at the fourth stage of grief: construction. Demolition, construction. This is not how an adult grieves the murder of someone he called a friend. This is how a 4-year-old mourns a goldfish.” Which bit was he wrong for – Saying Charlie Kirk was murdered? Saying his murder is being politicised? Saying people questioned why flags were flown at half-mast? Or saying the president's response was weird? I think what happened to Charlie Kirk was awful. No human being should have their life cut short like that. No wife should have to witness her husband dying. No child should see their father die. It’s awful. No matter who he was or what he said, he didn’t deserve that. But I also don’t think he should be a martyr. I think there are many people, on both sides, that are responsible for stirring the pot and creating a very real, very visceral hatred for anyone who disagrees with their view point. I think it’s dangerous and needs to be called out. And I think the very worrying trend of “fake news-ing” things you don’t want to discuss, threatening journalists who ask tough questions, and even cancelling talk shows is going to make the problem that much worse. When you start censoring the news, what’s seen on TV you start to tread in dangerous water – the type that was wide spread in Germany 1930/40, the type that’s in China and Russia now. We need platforms that discuss the different viewpoints. We need people who are willing to call out people in power when they say something wrong, stupid or dangerous. Satire and comedy has always been a very powerful tool to do that. |
| Prompt: "Go sit upon the hill and turn your eyes around, where waving woods and waters wild do hymn an autumn sound." Elizabeth Barrett Browning. *** There have been so many posts about Autumn recently. It’s my favourite time of year. I like the sounds of the season. The leaves rustling or crunching underfoot. The rain coming down and hitting the roof tiles and tin sheds like a drum solo. It soothing and calming. It’s as familiar as the smell of bonfires and sips of hot chocolate that accompany it. I’m jealous that the Northern Hemisphere is about to experience it. Here, we are coming into Spring. It’s already starting to warm up significantly. It’s 20C today. Tomorrow will be 23C. It’s the start of the long stretch to Summer. A summer where we have Halloween, Christmas, and New Year; all of which, traditionally, were cold season events. It feels wrong to have them in the Summer. I’m not used to it. It’s been six years, and nope… I still struggle with it. Maybe I always will. That being said “waving woods and wild waters” are not just an Autumn thing. Where I live, the wind comes off the sea. It can be harsh. It can be biting. We have a severe weather warning in place for tonight and tomorrow with high winds expected. A few days ago a tree branch (fairly chunky at 10 inches in diameter) broke and fell into our front garden. I have no idea why they insist on planting eucalyptus trees in a windy area, the branches are always dropping and causing damage. After the winds there is usually something odd floating passed on the lake as well. We’ve had a canoe wash up, a gym ball, a patio cushion… The waves are crazy. I’m always amazed to see the swans and other water birds floating out on the water; they never seem to move – they are like little anchored bo |
| Prompt: What does it mean to have it all? *** I’m not sure what “it all” is. What are the component parts? Can I pick and choose? Is there a list? Where would I begin in getting “it all”? How do I know when I have “it all”? Can I change my mind? Is there a cut off date? I think “it all” looking very different to each of us – and it changes over time. And I think the idea of “it all” puts too much pressure on people. Success looks very different to everyone. When I was growing up it was alluded to that I couldn’t possibly expect to have “it all” - a family, a nice house, a career (not a job), an education. Those were the component parts I was told about. Told to want. I was engaged very young (19 years old). I think it was assumed as soon as we were married I would start having babies and follow my military fiancé around the world. The idea that I would want to put my potential, career ahead of this plan was mind boggling to everyone. I remember my mother telling me that something would have to give – it turned out to be the fiancé. I wasn’t cut out for that life – whatever it was. I wanted something different – not necessarily more, but certain something else. I have always been very career driven. Late nights in the office, weekend work at home with the laptop, traveling for meeting – I love it. It’s what I defined my life against in a lot of ways. My husband supported me with late night whinging sessions, cups of tea, ordering take aways. Work has become less important since I had children. The drive has dwindled. It isn’t about balance. It’s about the fact I care less. I’m less defined by work. I want to be defined by other things – like Halloween parties, and cheering my kids on. In truth I have all the things I was told represented “it all” – I have a husband, kids, pets, a house, a career. I earn good money, have a nice car to drive. In truth, you could take everything other than my husband and kids away and I’ve find a way to be happy with my lot. So for me, “it all” turned out to be three people (the love of my life and two mini-mees), and akita (RIP Indy) and a bearded dragon. The rest of it is just nice to haves. |