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 |   Life is rough...I have to write it out. |
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I start blogs.....I neglect blogs....I abandon blogs. I start blogs.....I neglect blogs....I abandon blogs. I started this blog....I loved this blog....I abandoned this blog. I started this blog....I loved this blog....I abandoned this blog. I guess it is a good thing I didn't actually hold my breath. |
Day 27 Prompt: Share an item or blog entry from any of the eligible competitors this month. Include a review link for bonus points. Has anyone shared their own item? The prompt doesn't say any OTHER eligible competitors....that seems like something I would do. I am not going to, but I think at this point we can all agree that I would. Today was kinda shitty. My day was loooong and drawn out so my post shall be short and sweet. I went and looked around Kate - Writing & Reading   's portfolio. And I read this:
I am glad I chose it - check it out. Invalid Review  |
Day 26 Prompt: What does it mean to you if someone says "It sounds like you've got a case of the Mondays"? I hate when people say that. Don't they understand that every day sucks equally? However, I used to LOVE Mondays. It meant my clingy kid A was going back to school and that my husband (perhaps Husband A....ya' never know) was going back to work. No longer. Now even though my kid goes back to school she is experiencing some weirdo separation anxiety shit and going to school is rough. Real fucking rough. My husband now has Mondays off. Ahhh the Mondays of finished sentences and whole thoughts. Personal space and private pees. Less than three hundred requests and time to brush my hair. I have bid them adieu. So to me.....a case of the Mondays means that I have suddenly come down with...depression.....monopolization....oppression...you choose. A case of the Mondays means that I will experience ALL of the following things. A crying ass child who will miss me so much that she absolutely needs to stay home and play alone in her room all day, saying not another word to me until dinner. Biting my tongue to hold back the sheer aggravation that this is seeming to cause in me. Not that it would matter. She gets on the bus bawling every morning whether I pour syrupy sweetness on it or tough love her ass right on down the driveway. And then my aggravation instantly dissolves into guilty crying for my little girl who I have sent away in tears of such genuine sadness. Feeling helpless and hopeless and sad. Dreading, absolutely dreading, Tuesday morning. A husband who insists upon following me around, messing up things I just cleaned, leaving shit laying around where I just picked something up, standing in doorways (oh my god - STANDING THE FUCK IN DOORWAYS), pretty much doing nothing beyond hovering. It used to be grocery day but a trip to the store with the world's slowest man is no longer feasible if I want to keep my sanity or he wants to keep his life. Twenty years of this man means he needs to take his ass to work on days when people take their asses to work. You know...like when he is constantly at his friend's house to get away from me? I'm gonna go with - no stay at home mother came up with the four day work week. Mondays are the void. They fall in between what should be, but never is a relaxing weekend and what should be, but never is a productive week. They are days of nothing. Angry days of love lost. This stay at home mom's affair to remember. But because I am a child of the 80's who still jams to some 80's music (well...damn...there ya go Charlie ~  ) I can't let this Murderous Monday end without this:[Embed For Use By Upgraded+] P.S. Thank you Charlie ~ for the MB. Makin' me all blushy and shit.  |
Day 25 Prompt: The Sunday News!: Pick a random article from the headlines and talk about it. Share your opinions and feelings about it. Encourage a conversation. And so it is Sunday again. Three cheers for the Sunday News. Yeah. No. The news always sucks. This could be a great prompt. But the world sucks and therefore so does its news. I chose a story this week that I could relate to . Now you will see the story (and trust me...TRUST ME....go look at the story) and you will think....this bitch is nuts, she can't relate. Stay tuned, I will make it happen. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dl-cade/underwater-photographer-g_b_6523702.html?u... Let's just talk about this for a second. No wait. Do you need to see those pictures again? Go ahead. First - Why in the fuck are we posting a photographic series of shit? This is an anecdote at best. Yes, yes, It's on the Weird News page but still. Weird Anecdote? Sure. Weird blurb? Yep. Weird fucking nastiness? Oh yeah. Weird news? Ehhhhh...maybe not so much. Second - How stupid are we becoming that we need to make everything a tornado hybrid? Is that the best we can come up with? Even for a trend......that is the fad we choose to perpetuate? Jesus we suck. Third - He describes it like swimming in "chocolate milk"- no my friend, no. Fourth - The second to last photo - the one taken "inside the cloud" - what the fuck. Not even what the fuck are you doing INSIDE the cloud, but why the fuck are we seeing a picture of it. You may as well have rubbed some shit on the camera lens. Fifth - "As long as you didn't take your mask off, you couldn't really smell anything (taste is another matter...)" Need I really add to that? Sixth - We simply cannot look past the fact that there could never be a defense mechanism better than this in any universe. Not as a concept....I am not one for toilet humor or incessant bodily function talk....but effectually. Clearly, even if you were stupid enough to swim into the cloud of a not-so-bad chocolate milk 'poopnado', because after all...it didn't smell (really dude? I clearly remember breathing in and out with my nose last time I went underwater swimming and taking in all sorts of odors. Fuck.), then you can't see the whale anyway. Ahhhhhh.....so we have found the purpose of the smeared camera lens. Now. Since it is what news should do - make us feel as though we can relate, that we can be part of the world that experiences the same things we do - that's what I will also do. I mean, it should be that the news is news we identify with because it is uplifting and positive, but wish in one ocean, shit in the other. Wednesday my youngest (and final) daughter turned one. She rocks, but that's not for this - it's just a shout out. Not to her, but to me for surviving my least favorite stage - yep a shout out of selfishness. When kid A was somewhere between ...two and four weeks old....I was changing her diaper. She was laying on the table (oh my god - a surface that didn't resemble a cloud nor did it have the Great Wall of China around it), she was laying on a blanket on the table and I was doing the whole diaper thing. I was talking to my mom because when my mom is around there isn't a ton of silence. I look down and she shoots shit from the table into my mouth. From the table into my mouth. An easy two feet. Easy. (Further proving we have always been in sync.) And yet what do you do? You are halfway through changing a baby who is currently shitting while on ....yeah yeah I know....a table with no safety railing? Carry on like Kansas. And man...."as long as you didn't breathe, you couldn't really smell anything (taste is another matter...)" |
Day 24 Prompt: Creation Saturday: Create something with this - "Okay, I've got this. After all, it's not the first time a ... Easy shift, the manager thought, or so it appeared. No crazy women had come in to shed any tears. I stepped up, experienced in this game. After all, it’s not the first stranger to witness my shame. Sitting in the restaurant, feeling happy as a clam, Here comes the poor waiter, unaware of what a bitch I am. Fly in My Soup!! In feigned anger I cried After all, it’s not the first person to whom I have lied. You have lots of crap and want it I might, But even if I hate it, well that’s alright. Watch your stuff when you meet me, no matter how brief After all, this is so far from the first shit I've thiefed. This is my house and it has its rules, It doesn't like racists, religion or fools. Strike three …get out! I cry at an alarming rate, After all, it’s not the first time I've been known to dictate. This day was rough and so is this entry Knowing when to give in is always the key So it’s off to bed, doesn't matter if it sucks After all, it won’t be the first prompt I've fucked. |
Day 23 Prompt: Funny Friday: Tell us that story about yourself or a family member that is sure to give us a chuckle. Down with Funny Friday if ya ask me. I don't have any stories that are guaranteed to make you chuckle. In my twenty years of history with my husband we have tons of stories. Tons and tons. Unfortunately, they are all stoner stories. Well, there really isn't much unfortunate about that. But stoner stories are usually only funny to stoners and typically only the stoners in the stories. Alas, I am a slave to the prompt....sorta. My story was funny then. And that is really just the story of my life. When we were younger, I have no idea how old. I might be able to hazard a guess if I tried but I'm not gonna. Young. There was a neighborhood that had an area called "Anonymous Neighborhood Park" which consisted of a creek roughly the size of a stream of piss. Oh, and a tree. The wonderful tree. We used to go there to get high. Timing was everything in the neighborhood of established family tattle tales. And it was a dangerous place to get high. But we could walk there from my house. *I actually wasn't getting high before I could drive, but when you are sixteenish what do you buy? Weed or gas? (Look at that...I DID hazard a guess) This time it was my husband and I and it was about 11:30 pm. It was the middle of the week I am sure otherwise we never would have chosen that place. We had a blunt. And not those stupid tiny joints people roll in cigar paper and then call blunts. We had a blunt. We are all settled under the tree and about to light it when the police pull up. Scared shitless of course, I simply toss the blunt to the side of the tree. The police walk over and ask if we have seen some kids on four-wheelers. No sir. and I sincerely hope you don't see the piss running down my leg. They leave. We wait what seemed like an appropriate amount of time, though could there really have been such a thing when we knew the cops were trolling around the neighborhood looking for someone? Ehhh, probably not. Anyway, we wait and then we go to find the blunt and smoke that shit because damn cops are stressful. Back then we had lighters and pagers. So we lit our lighters and looked in the general direction that I had tossed it. To our delight, the tree had dropped hundreds of branches. Not little skinny branches - not joints rolled in cigar paper branches. Noooooo! There were hundreds of blunts under the tree. Using any form of light we could (aforementioned lighters and pagers...) we spent an unknown amount of time picking up sticks, 42 to be exact, before we found the blunt. Some of those little fuckers had us fooled to the extent that we might cry out in victory. It was crazy. It was surreal. We took all 42 of the ones we had to touch first before being rewarded with our pot because we knew, KNEW, not a soul would ever believe us. Everyone was going to picture a bunch of sticks and branches and our dumbasses just overlooking the blunt because it was dark. NO! NO! A thousand times NO! This tree was dropping Swishers. We still laugh every time we think of this. Probably out of nostalgia rather than humor. But I will never forget flicking that lighter and seeing those fucking things. The way time became Jello as I began to laugh. How shitty my husband was getting the longer it took to find it. But I love the fact that we went somewhere else to smoke it.....fuck that tree.  |
Day 22 Prompt: Today I'm throwing something out there - winging it. I've heard it said that, "Opinions are like @$$holes, everybodies got one." One of my favorite uncles shared (with me) his secret way of responding to anyone who shared any kind of an opinion with him. After patiently listening, he would look straight back in the persons eyes and say, "So what." Think about this happening to you... The assignment Nasty uncle Harold just responded to your opinion with a deadpan "So what." How do you respond in return? or What's your opinion on opinions? "Opinions are like assholes Uncle Harold, everybody's got one." "So what?" "So I wanna hear your opinion about as much as I wanna see your asshole." |
| Does anyone who reads this blog know very much about Steampunk? |
Day 21 Prompts: Select one (or more) of these fine prompts and fit it into your Wednesday's blog entry. 1. Everyone pokes the little boy made of dough and this constant oppression depresses him over time. [from Writing.com prompts] 2. "I knew terrible things." [from Maurice Sendak - Author of: Where the Wild Things Are] 3. What would happen if children ruled the world? [from CanTeach, www.canteach.ca] 4. Write a love story about two fish. [from Writing.com prompts] 5. Write about your body. [from Writing Forward, writingforward.com] So I am skipping number one because.....well....because I can. And number five will make sense to a whole.....two other people...but again....I can. 2. "I knew terrible things." [from Maurice Sendak - Author of: Where the Wild Things Are] I knew terrible things the night I returned, frightening things to never be unknown. They darkened my soul and colored my sight, then fled, leaving me suffering alone. 3. What would happen if children ruled the world? [from CanTeach, www.canteach.ca] I’m confused……those people running things aren't children?? 4. Write a love story about two fish. [from Writing.com prompts] Fish 1: “Oh, hey, check that chick out. I’m gonna swim over there and put it to her gills.” Fish 2: “He’s lookin’ at me, he’s lookin’ at me. Here he comes.' Fish 1: “Whew, where did this rudder come from? Here she comes, oooh she’s gonna get it……damn missed her.” Fish 2: “Damn, missed me.” Fish 1: “What was I doing? Oh, hey, check that chick out. I’m gonna swim over there and put it to her gills.” 5. Write about your body. [from Writing Forward, writingforward.com] My body is my temple, or something like that, I am tall and skinny, and totally flat. My body is made of hatred and disdain, My misery loves company and other’s pain. My body is rage, addiction, chaos galore, These are the things I was MADE for. My body radiates disgust and dislike, But if you don’t like it, take a hike. Cuz you see, underneath all that slime, There are other things that you will find. My body is made of glitter fallen from unicorns, Clouds weeped upon me, the day I was born. My body is made of sunshine on giggling daisies, But the garden is weedy, cuz I’m kinda lazy. My body is made of newborn fairy dust, And if I don’t kiss boys my lips will rust. |
Day 20 Prompt: Two-fer Tuesdays (version 2.0): Choose from one of these two recent stories in the news, and write a blog entry in response to it. Rant or rave, stir up some emotion. (Here is where he linked the choices.....I chose this one: [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] ) I don't disagree with the President here. The.....sentiment is right. We shouldn't allow ourselves to be bullied, neither by international meanies nor super baby hackers about to graduate high school in our country. We as a nation use the old...."land of the free" bullshit as an excuse, logic, manipulation, all of the time. Any time it will swing the outcome of whatever situation we are experiencing in our favor. We spout it and we pretend to believe it. We get shitty when we think you are planting your flag on our little piece of freedom land, no matter if you are the President or the neighbor. We continue to invest all of our intelligence and energy in technological innovations, sometimes at the expense of valid, necessary social mores. And then....then....the company who strokes our lazy ass cocks for us in every area of technology commonly utilized sits down when they should have stood up. What I want to know is...where is the real representation of this "land of the free"? Where was the ego? Because that is what we are about now. Where was Sony when the dance battle began? You make some shit, you defend that shit. And if that shit is indefensible (as so much nowadays is) then you defend your right to make such inexcusable shit. Take this blog....it is full of inexcusable crap, but do you think I care? Nope. Ego people, Ego. However....just because I agree with the sentiment.....I find myself a little put off by the delivery. And not the man nor his powerful position. I take issue with the fact that we once again stood in front of the world and cried about bullying when we are easily the biggest bully at the schoolyard. No one gets to tell us what to do! By the way....we will be sending millions of troops tomorrow to make sure everyone in your country takes their trash out. Get it to the curb fuckers...don't you know what democracy is? |
| Sidenote: I will never post my 30DBC prompt this early again. Waaaaay too long to wait for the next prompt to chew on. Now my timing is all off......bullshit. |
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