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Because I usually am in Vino ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** In 2009, I gave up my studies as a medievalist and musician, left my home, my family, my life and moved to Provence in southern France for a guy. In 2012, I moved away from him to study wine. Today, I'm a vagabond sommelier working in Paris at one of the oldest and most famous restaurants in the world, struggling to find some purpose to what I deem the rest of my life. I'm still married and after 8 10 years, I'm still trying to fit-in with French life and culture and to understand why the French are the way they are. Because they're weird in a different way that I think Americans are weird. Perhaps it's me who's weird. |
| I've started reading A Gentleman in Moscow. I think it's fitting considering we're all in confinement these days. I'm feeling ok. Less productive than I'd like, but it's only the end of day two and the whole situation seems very surreal to me. I cough quite a bit at the moment, and often feel pressure in my chest which makes me nervous, but M - who I spent most of my time with the past few weeks has told me he feels totally fine. On top of that, this could be due to smoking, being around the cats again (I'm allergic to them for the first week every time I come home to Arles), and I'm pretty sure there is mold in the walls of our apartment. There is a strange, wet and musty odor that I can't seem to escape no matter which part of the apartment I go to. My husband doesn't seem to have any reaction to this, and he's been living here for 6 years, but I know that I'm sensitive to it. It's not a constant pressure, or a constant cough, so I'm trying not to worry, but I guess it can't be helped with the times. Instead I try to stay away from the news websites, from social media. I watch the news with Greg to keep up my French and to see what's going on, but once the news is over I try to stop thinking about it. Of course, I will limit my time outside. We are apparently allowed to go outside for exercise as long as we don't stray too far from our homes (I have no idea how far that is), but I told Greg that at least for the first two weeks - let's face it our confinement will be longer - I will stay indoors and use the elliptical. I noted in my paper journal today that I'd been wanting for some time to have an excuse to stop working and return to my former life of being thoughtful and creative. Now, despite the catastrophic state of the world, I seem to have been given that chance. I would like to return to writing but I must say that I have no idea where to begin. I was thinking of starting a blog entitled something like "The Confinement of an Anti-Social Hypochondriac"." Staying at home doesn't seem to be a big challenge to me, but I supposed we'll see how I feel in two weeks. I know however that my husband will have no issues. He would never leave the house if he didn't have to. I have asked him to make sure he uses the elliptical 3 times a week. I don't care if he is as crazy about fitness as I am, but moving from his computer to the bathroom, computer to the kitchen, computer to the bedroom is not exercise. The cats don't seem to have any thoughts at all on our confinement. They did seem surprised to see me arrive mid-week however. I know animals don't have a concept of time, a rigid and structured way of counting it that we humans do, but when I walked in the door yesterday morning they seemed a little surprised and confused to see me here when usually I come home on a Sunday and leave again within 36 hours. The last time I came home for an extended stretch Pistou did start whining to my husband at night as we got into bed. He seemed to be asking why I was still taking up his space on the bed. Poor guy. It's quite possible that I'll be here for months now. |
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I think it's awesome that you're using that negative experience to get creative. It's hard not to just wallow when those things happen. I use a paper journal for most of my actual coping process too, but I do share bits and pieces on WDC as well.
Might try a short story a day instead. Stay safe. 
