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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| Aaah, nearly missed today's entry too! I am so bad at this! There are eight minutes left before Thursday is over and I suddenly realised a few minutes ago that I had yet to write my blog entry. Aside from dealing with awful back pain today too, I've been with my niece to Brownies, where the adorable little girls all made a special room out of boxes and various craft materials. Since the adults were uselessly sitting at the side in the wake of the girls' energy and enthusiasm, I absently turned to origami. I'm no whizz with papers but I know how to make a box. Another lady saw it and she was just so amazed and had me teach her how to do it. I was rather embarrassed by her wonder lol. Anyways, this evening, I've been painting (or rather, just making a hell of a mess on the front room floor). I'm trying to improve my canvas designing skills, which are pretty poor at the moment. I'm trying to do some cool lettering but don't know what to write. Shocker! So right now, I've a pile of canvases lying around with colourful backgrounds, waiting for something to be written on them. I don't want to write cheesy messages. Quotes will only do if they're particularly meaningful. Or if someone ever requests it. With the painting having taken over, I'm a bit bummed that I didn't get that much time to pursue some of my other interests. Where does the time go?!  On the flip side, I learnt something interesting today. I have discovered that reading my old stories really helps to get me back into a writing mood. They have to be old so the whirring of the cogs doesn't immediately start up upon reading, so my head isn't buzzing with where I want to take this scene, or what should be the result of that encounter, etc. So I'm reading my stories like a reader. This helps because none of my old stories are finished lol! So by the time I get to the end, I feel like it's such a shame because I was getting really absorbed! Then I want to continue writing it! Oh, would you look at the time! I've been writing for 16 mins! I guess you do get better as you go! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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