No ratings.
Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
08:09 I didn't get enough sleep last night but I got up bright and early. It's a good feeling, being up before the little one and having some time to myself. It's much better this way, rather than relying on a few hours after he's gone to bed and then running late and going to bed at like one or two in the morning in pursuit of the muse. I'm freshened up and know that I can't spend hours and hours here since my son will be up soon, which provides some much-needed urgency in trying to get things done. I've tackled a bit more of my assignment and done some writing. I've read some Qur'an and done a bit of my languages. With this entry done, that will be 2.5 items out of three crossed off my daily checklist. A great start to the day! Now I'm going to get my son fed and ready and then we'll be heading out to my parents' house for Eid, where we will see lots of family over the course of the day. The adults typically give the kids money and, if we're lucky, some of us adults will get some from our parents. Good times, good times! I wish I was a kid again :( And somehow that short entry has led to nine minutes passing by just like that. I hope that's not indicative of the rest of the day! I thought waking up early would stretch out my time a little! 08:19 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |