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Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #2186370

Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool!

A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes.

I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore!

I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children.

I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be.

I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone.
August 13, 2019 at 1:39am
August 13, 2019 at 1:39am
#964134
06:26

Thank God on I'm on the last letter of the alphabet. I'll try to keep titles relevant after this lol.

This waking up early thing is working a treat. The possibilities are endless...so long as my son doesn't wake up early too! I'm going to polish off my assignment and then submit it for this week, hopefully. And then perhaps I can start reworking my novel seriously while I begin my next assignment. The assignments are never-ending!

Had a great Eid yesterday! Lots of relatives came over. I visited two different houses, although that's nothing out of the ordinary. It was a lively day and today is set to be lively too, with some more relatives from more far-flung towns coming over. It's also my niece's birthday. I've been asked to bake for her so I've done a batch of cupcakes, which I will decorate when I go downstairs. She wanted little fondant badges depicting the various things she likes, as flat cake toppers, but I've run out of icing so...yeah. The little madam will be disappointed.

Not much more to say right now. It's a pretty short entry and I keep clicking on a new tab before reminding myself I'm in the middle of something. I'm too easily distracted. Hopefully that won't be the case as I try to get some writing done!

06:39

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