%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 23:26 I am stuffed. I made pancakes in the morning (well, past noon actually), had parathas for lunch (more like tea), and pizzas for dinner (at...ten 'o' clock). Not strictly not my usual routine but it's been a fun couple of days, having people staying over. Tonight is probably going to be another late night spent watching something or other on Netflix. We're currently watching 13 Reasons Why. We've nearly finished season one. It is not the sort of thing I or my friend would usually watch but searching for things to watch on Netflix can turn into a bit of a struggle. Anywho, onto more writery matters. I keep thinking about the story of mine that I recently read. My interest in the whole thing has been reawakened. I want to write. I'm itching to write, but I also want to be a good host so this is the only time I've allowed myself to go on the computer for a bit. I actually want to squeal due to how badly I want to write right now. When I'm really into a story, I start fantasising about it when I'm supposed to be sleeping. Back to being a good host...and watching 13 Reasons Why. 23:37 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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