%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 10:33 I wish I didn't have baggage sometimes. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up when I felt like it. Ah, those precious, precious years I took for granted when I could do just that. They are a distant dream now, so far in the past that it feels like they never really existed.  Is it a waste of time reworking a story you don't plan to do anything with? See, the story/stories I've been thinking about and mentioning on here the last few days are romance and I don't want to put romance stories out there. I want to be a fantasy author - romance is just a little side interest I have, like an exhibition I frequently walk past in an internal zoo. Poke poke. Awaken the sleeping beast! Well, the beast is already pretty wide awake. It always is. But let's ignore that particular one for now. The first story I ever wrote (the first story I was serious about, at any rate), was a fantasy. It was set on Earth, with passage to another realm a possibility and the main characters were three siblings, a pair of twins and a small girl. Looking back on it now, it was pretty bland. It was a mishmash of all the stories I'd read up to that point. I can't even remember the names or authors of the stories I'd drawn inspiration from - they were fantasy standalones or series with really bulky tomes that I only read odd books from, because those were all I could find and didn't realise at the time that the library had a system of ordering books in from other nearby libraries. Hey, what do you know, I managed to fill eleven minutes with pointless drivel, as usual. Should I keep doing this? Yes, I think I will. If nothing else, the blog is a constant reminder that I haven't written anything for a while. As long as I have a reminder, I will get back to writing. If I don't have a reminder, it might be months before I pick up the habit again. 10:45 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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