%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 22:34 I attended a demonstration in my town today about the situation in India-administered Kashmir. As a fellow Kashmiri (though I come from the Pakistan side of it), the unnecessarily large military presence in Kashmir is not only unsettling, it is downright terrifying. I can only imagine how it must feel, to live under surveillance all the time, to have no contact with the outside world, to be in need of medication which is not allowed to come in because nothing is allowed to come in from outside. I may not be related to those people by blood, but no doubt we look similar and we share something which is, to me, more precious than any living, tangible connection. We are Muslim. We as individuals may not be able to do much when bad things happen, because how much sway does the average person hold over the general populace? Or...the world? Not much, I'd say. But we can spread the message. We can raise awareness, let people know so everyone can do a tiny little something towards helping and, hopefully, if the message is sufficiently spread, then the sheer number of people trying to achieve change is substantial enough to leave a mark. Or several, if we're lucky. I urge people to talk to their local MPs/councillors/whatever the title of the local government representative is where you live. It doesn't have to be a matter of faith. It's a matter of human rights. People are being denied basic rights like food and water and medical aid, and contact with loved ones who live elsewhere, with no news of how they're doing. Let's stand up for one another. 22:50 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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