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 |  Blog and other works of literary sense |
| Here is a collection of ruminations and whatnot. |
| Hello Everybody, I'm posting since it's been a long time that I have done so. Writing has been a difficult thing to do lately, or maybe for some time. I'm deluged with negative thoughts! I end up feeling upset that I give up in disgust. I received an email from a fellow writer who too feels that way about her writing. She ploughs through it it seems and despite the lowering thoughts that she gets she does her work. I seem to have lowering thoughts after I've written something, which is probably worse than when one is doing the writing. What happens is that a lot of thoughts try to insinuate themselves into my own narrative and what I intend to say comes out in a struggle of thoughts, with me trying to get the better of them. So many thoughts try to give ideas, words, synonyms, and it's not the right thing that I want to write. Hemingway once said about writing is to write the best sentence possible (I'm paraphrasing). If I could I would and yet the onslaught of terrible attacks come and it drives me to my bed and I cower under the bedclothes feeling sad, asking God to help me because I feel terrible. If this is something that's happened to you, what do you do about it? Is it like this for everyone? I wonder how people who write cope. I've had to resort to terrible addictions, now I'm smoking like a chimney and I don't see any end to this addiction. I'm popping antacids, anti-anxiety meds, anti-depressants, and eating junk food. I'm overweight, my skin feels awful and I'm getting acne, for Heaven's sake. Now I'm resorting to merely tweeting and blogging when I can. I just don't know when the book I'm working on will ever get completed. I've a few ideas what stories might be good but they all start looking similar to the ones I've published. It's always the same old story, I'm afraid. I'm also fearing that I'm one of those who is a one-note writer - same theme song and different character names. I hope that it isn't true. I might just have to find a class or something to see whether I can get some freedom to write something that's not the same old same old, you know? I wish to do a good job as a writer. I don't know. Just thinking out loud here. Sometimes I guess a galumphing writing idea might just do me some good. Nonsense and drivelly stuff. Nothing to publish about. Oh well. And, then there's all that sad nothing that comes from royalty cheques. I'm now getting eighty cents from royalties from Amazon. It's sad, isn't it? Terribly disappointed. Why bother writing anymore? Sick of it, really. |
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