Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2283788-This-is-me/month/4-1-2023
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I'm in bad shape with my heart, so it all goes here. My thoughts, fears, and more. |
Size: 10 Entries
Created: October 25th, 2022 at 12:33am
Modified: August 29th, 2023 at 10:55pm
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Well, here goes... I am not going to start at the very beginning of my journey with my heart, but I will say, I've been very blessed by God! I've been allowed to see, smell, taste, touch, hear, and live twenty-nine wonderful years that cannot be medically explained! I wrote a short story about the first part of this journey years ago right here at this awesome site! It's "Please Don't Let Me Die"  . So, this will be the back half of my miraculous journey called life. I already know there will be days of tears, fears, ranting, feeling sorry for myself and etc., but please bear with me. Thanks a million.
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I find myself saying those very words as I travel on my very rocky path called life. When I was first diagnosed with my end of life expectancy, my thoughts turned to my youngest son. He's in prison right now for some really bad choices he made. My thoughts went to him because I knew he was still facing charges out of Woodbine, Georgia. I know that drugs are never a good choice, but if a person is going to dabble in the sale of drugs, Camden County Georgia is NOT ever a good place to try that concept out! Well, you guessed it! My very ornery youngest son tried that out and got caught. Keep in mind, he's doing time for felony charges he got for stealing a frigging bicycle a few years back! Anyway, they sent him off for three years for that stupid ass stunt! In the meantime, I'm waiting out here on the outside knowing I was given my walking papers on life. Well he was supposed to get out this June which is one year into the year to a year and a half I was given by my cardiologist. No things can never be frigging easy! Not in my life. Now he's been told his TPM is not until April of next year because Camden County is giving him twenty years for the fiasco with the drug charges up there! I'm trying with everything I have in me that I can hold onto life until my baby boy gets out of that God awful place called Rodgers State Prison. I have faith in my God that He will once again grant me a little more time. However, I still feel selfish as hell for asking. I hope whomever reads thus will keep in mind I asking God for this for my son. Everyday I've been repeating that if God brings me to it, He will see me through it! What a mighty God we have!
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This is been a really really rough time . In February we lost two people in my family. We lost our sister Lorenda, and then we lost my cousin Lori. Lori may have been a cousin, but she was more like a sister. I always referred to her as my twin because she was only three months older than me. I thought I was prepared for her to gain her wings before me, but I was so wrong! Whatever time I have left here is going to be very lonely without her. She was always my constant in this world. I always knew that no matter what, Lori loved me no matter what I had done wrong. She loved me warts and all. She was my cousin, my sister, my friend, and my heart. I'll be expecting to see her waiting for me at the pearly gates. But for right now, I'll have to feel some comfort knowing she's my guardian angel. I love you my girl. Until we meet again. December 25, 1961- March 30, 2023
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2283788-This-is-me/month/4-1-2023
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