Through the eyes of a writer and traveler 😁! Life and some spiritual musings. |
Welcome Y'all 🤠. I'm into animal rescue and rights. Positive vibes and activism! 😻🙏 It's been interesting for the past 20 years. Good folks on here and a great 😃 writing community. It's time for rethinking my writing and growing as a person . Sharing how to help others and ourselves 😉 has always been my motivation! Hugs 🤗 to new and old peeps! " The journey of 10,000 miles Begins with one step 🪜. --Lao Tzu What you don't like Don't do to another. Rabbi Hillel Do unto others as you would have someone Do unto you. Jesus 🙏 |
Hi y'all on this Sunday afternoon 😁. Kudos 🎉 to y'all that hang in there with me 😉 and let me know your still there ☺️! Yup it means a lot to have good conversations and connections with folks, when others even family aren't so close! I'm very blessed to have a core of family in touch. Love is thicker than blood many times. You can be closer to some and not even be related! So tomorrow will trade my prescription for a good one! Can't believe Dr forgot to write ✍️ four times a day.which in Latin is Q.I.D. ! I took medical terminology to become a Nurse! Besides all that nonsense, today is a day of remembrance for me. My then 18 years old little brother Jeffrey was killed 42 years ago today. I some ways it feels like an eternity ago, but in my photogenic mind it also seems like yesterday. Certain moments are like little videos in my mind, snippets of the spring 🌱 of 1982. I had moved up to Oregon the year before to get my babies and myself out of San Francisco and the abusive relationship I wanted out from. My step sister had made the move with her future hubby. It was a big change from city life to the rural mountains life in southern Oregon! I remember my 2 year old daughter falling into the mud and she was wearing light blue shirt and pants. Now covered in brown muck! I was about to get her changed but my sis said " Why? Why put on more clean clothes? She's going to keep playing and they all get dirty anyway! It took me a minute to get her point! I was so used to making sure my kids were clean and looked nice to ride the bus to the store or wherever we were going. As I looked around the kids were all ages and having the time of their life! Yeah wearing mud but laughing and it was warm outside. It was harder for me to adjust to the fact, not everyone had indoor plumbing! They were living in a tiny trailer and when I asked " where's the bathroom?" She handed me a coffee can! I thought she was joking but she pointed her fingers to the outside bushes and I got the point! In time I got a small apartment in the town of Myrtle Creek. We had a backyard and I was starting a garden, which was exciting to think we could grow our own tomatoes and such. That April I got a phone call about my mother. My aunt said " Your mother jumped off the roof again". I said " is she alright? ( I had nursed her around 1972,as a teenager and she did recover for the most part...) My Aunt sounded annoyed ( like I should have known what she was saying) " No she's dead and you have to get her buried" Later my uncle S would explain I needed to take a Greyhound to New York and I was next of kin, to be able and get her a Free Jewish Burial. Besides being in shock I thought it odd, the Free Jewish Burial thing. She taught me more about Jesus and what little she knew about the Catholic Church, from a long-lost friend named Jenny. I never met her but as a child, she took me to a beautiful Catholic Church on Eastern Parkway in Brooklyn. It was always empty when we went. I loved the red glass votive candles and the big Jesus hanging on the cross. She would pray for him to help her and sometimes said " He's my brother" So I did go to NY and it was a mess me going to an Orthodox Jewish burial! I had been to a non religious Jewish funeral for my grandma but nothing prepared me for that. The worst part was having the Rabbi yell at me for trying to say goodbye to my mom. I wasn't supposed to look at her grave but did and he snapped " Are you going to watch as we put dirt on her grave?!" 🪦 Like it was the worst thing I could do. I ran off towards the back to hide and cry. My brother Jeffrey came over and put his arms around me and said" it's ok Diane, you didn't do nothing wrong,he should shut up!" My other brother said " not to worry". Flash forward to when I got back home to Oregon a few days later. I had a dream about Jeffrey. That I was walking through an alley and going to his funeral. Mrs Fox who was a friend from the Seventh Day Adventist Church told me" Not to worry about the dream. It was because I had just lost my mother." My mom passed April 10th . May 18 was a sunny day and a Tuesday ( later I would write ✍️ that in a song). We were out in the budding garden and they were playing with Gardner snakes ( little harmless one's) The phone rang and I went inside to answer. A friend from Brooklyn said "Diane please sit down " Her voice was weeping and I knew it was something very bad. "What's wrong Sherry?" I Asked. She told me " D I know how much you love your brother Jeffrey and he loved you. He's dead . It happened last night,he was killed on the Belt Parkway by the Verrazano bridge. I can't believe I lived through all that. I didn't expect to write about it here but,in my mind I always expected to write ✍️ about my real life. In the last year I decided not to because someone said no one would care. I also had to deal with my lousy health issues lol 😆. I'm still hopeful to write more. I will see how it goes from this post. I know some will be blown away but I hope people will get something positive out of it. Somehow I always kept my faith. Even if it changed from Jewish to Catholic and back and forth! Or Buddhist prayers 🙏🌹📿! Or good majick for healing and prosperity for us and others. Oops I have to feed the kitty's, don't know how long I've been writing. It helped 🙂😍❤️🎹🎶📿🕎🌾🪦🌱😸😻🤗 |