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How once woman went from being a SAHM of four to a published freelance science journalist |
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I'm revising this intro after more than 15 years to better reflect my intention When I started this blog in 2004, I was a stay at home mom to two small children, a college graduate with a degree in English and Astrophysics. By 2007, I had four small children, ages newborn, 2, 4, and 6. For several years, Writing.com was how I kept my sanity. This blog began, first as a way of staying connected. Later, when I worked on a novel, I used it to stoke the writing fires as I plotted out short stories and the next step of my novel. Ultimately, I moved my writing preparation to "Invalid Item"  In 2010, I became a single mom who had homeschooled her children for several years. I had a 2, 4, 6 and 8 year old and had never had a "real" full time job, since I was married while in college. Everyone told me that I would have to buckle down and take on a "real" job. Instead, I decided to attempt to live my dream: to make it as a writer. I knew that if I didn't try then, I would never really dive in. I counted my money and set a deadline. If I hadn't began making a decent (defined) amount of money after so many months, I would suck it up and get a J-O-B. After some thought, I decided to play to my strengths. I served an internship at Sky & Telescope magazine while in college and enjoyed writing about space and astronomy. With an astrophysics degree, I thought I would be able to sell myself more easily, and a small niche should be easier to penetrate. It's been about ten years since I was first paid for an article on Space.com. In that time, writing - journalism - has been my primary moneymaker. I've often thought about setting up a blog on my website - www.astrowriter.com - but just haven't gotten around to it. There are a few things I would like to share for those who are interested in scientific journalism in general. Now that I'm back on WDC, there's no reason not to combine the two and use the site blog for that sort of interaction. There are certainly plenty of folks on this site interested in the publication process. So while I'll probably meander around some, that's the intention of of this blog: to share some of my struggles as a published journalist and to help answer oft-asked questions. |
| Today's prompt for "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" involves your bedtime routine. What, they ask, do I do to relax and unwind after a long day? My bedtime routine has evolved over the years. I went from a college student to a newlywed and new mom within a little over a month (you're still newlywed if you haven't been married a year, right?) In the next six years, I went from one baby to four, each split by anywhere from 18 months to 2 years. At one point, while pregnant with the last one, I lived in a motorhome. Ideally, the kids and I intended to travel with their dad, who put something like 2,000+ miles on his car each week. That didn't last long, and I wound up in a single campsite either pregnant or with a newborn and three kids 6 and under. Then we bought a house and I continued staying at home and homeschooling my four darlings. Along came divorce and I became a self-employed, work-at-home mom. I also hit 40 and Oreos were taken out of the bedtime routine. I miss them, but then, they never left but settled on my hips and the like. My ideal routine, roughly sketched out, hasn't changed a great deal, cookies notwithstanding. Ideally, I'd walk around the house picking things up and making sure the Roomba had a clear route to work. (We call him Mr. Collins, as in, from Price & Prejudice the Colin Firth movie, and I often cry out, "Mr. Collins, you vex my nerves" in a terrible British accent.) That has mostly been bumped to my kids, now ages 13, 15, 17 and 18-almost-19. They don't always do the greatest job, but it's mostly picked up which is something, right? In truth, I've been slacking at this. I then move to my bath, which is the longest part. Somewhere around the time my second was born, I started taking a nice hot bath. This was usually after the demonspawn had gone to bed, since my darling now-ex husband insisted that his job was his job and he needed time to relax when he got home, while my job was taking care of the kids and I never needed to relax...or something like that. (You can see why he is now-ex lol.) Give me a bath and a book and I am happy. As I have moved to more digital books, with dragging feet, I have occasionally taken my phone into the tub solely to read, but I'm not a fan of that. Phones today are stupid expensive and even if they are water-resistant-not-waterproof, the last thing I need is to drop an expensive electronic device into the tub. Plus the whole screentime keeps you up later thing. Theoretically I read until bedtime, but this is becoming a bit of a challenge. I wind up playing a stupid game or two. With COVID, I've been keeping up with the news even more, and I generally check that at bedtime; I should rework that but I haven't yet. Previously, with four kids and diagnosed depression, I avoided the news because I find it makes the depression worse. I still yell at the newspaper or whatever for incredibly stupid reporting. Good times. I've been trying to lock my phone up in one of those lockboxes with timers that won't open unless you break it until a preset time. That has helped somewhat, but if I'm reading on my phone it becomes harder. The low charge doesn't make a huge difference because I'm at home during the workday, but I still don't like waking up and my phone is at 35%. I also refill the gas on my car at a quarter tank..... Moving on to some blogging material, I've been chewing over an idea for a story based on a 'acquaintances' response to my facebook post, in which they called me racist, because I was calling out racism. I did ask, well why are we fb friends then? I'm waiting to delete him as a friend so he can at least read it lol. But it's making me chew on the edge of a story from the outside in. Too much Joyce Carol Oates, I think. Last night, I got up from bed to type it up in my storywriting blog, a book I have yet to figure out how to offload. One of these days. |
| Yesterday was something of a hectic day with work. Knocked out an interview with NASA - I still have grumpy feelings toward PIOs (press information officers). For instance, I requested a document from the PIO via email at the beginning of March and they didn't even bother to shoot me down. I have continued to request it, but yesterday I asked for it in the phone interview, as well. (NASA PIOs sit in on phone interviews. ...) At that point, the PIO told me I needed to request the document via a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request. Why didn't they tell me that two months ago, or at least when they made that determination? Fortunately, I requested the document through FOIA back in March. Still haven't received it, of course. Today's 30 day blog topic asks, which fictional character would you like most to meet? With the subsequent why and what would you like to ask and so forth. That's an interesting question, and I'm not sure of the answer, to be honest. I'm a voracious reader - I usually knock out 100+ books a year, and I'm already at around 60 for 2020. Most of those were pre-coronavirus lockdown. Last night, I wound up staying up late reading "The End of the World Running Club." I can honestly say it didn't end the way I thought it would. [Don't worry, no spoilers.] What I really liked about this book is that the main character is a pretty typical but crappy dad who is basically leaving all the work of caring for two little ones (baby and 3 year old) on his wife. As a former stay at home mom with four little ones, this resonated with me. What I liked about the guy is that, at least to himself, he admits it from almost page 1. The premise of the post-apocalyptic novel is that he is trying to get back to his family, who has been helicoptered something like 500 miles from Scotland to southern England, to take a boat to somewhere less devastated by the asteroid strike. If I ever ran into this guy in person, I think I would like to ask him if he has learned to do more than big, grandoise, in the middle of an apocalypse gestures and is doing a better job with middle of the night feedings and diaper changes. The day before, I wrapped up Joyce Carol Oates book, "Hazards of Time Travel." I've read a few Oates books, and even met the author back when I was in college, so I was pretty surprised to find a science fiction novel in her repertoire. I think she does a pretty good job of carrying it off. The main character - again no spoilers - is a 17 year old sent back in time for punishment for, essentially, thinking for herself, something which is frowned on by her Orwellian government.I don't particularly care to meet those in charge of her sentencing, but it does seem odd to send someone from such an oppressed time back to when things were relatively less oppressive. The character isn't really a stellar example - she's no Katniss Everdeen and becomes a rather pathetic figure - but what I liked is how Oates uses Skinner's behaviorism, which the teen is studying in college as part of a psychology degree, to hold up to society at large. No questions for her, but definitely a book you should check out. I suppose the stereotypical answer for a space writer should be a desire to meet Ellie, the character from Carl Sagan's Contact, later played by Jodie Foster in the movie. But while that movie apparently inspired several of my colleagues, it was just sort of meh to me. I still need to read the novel, though, which will hopefully be better. I don't know - the idea of fictional characters coming to life is a bit tetchy (and an entire genre of science fiction on its own). It seems like you're not going to get what you think you would because that person will become even more well rounded and three dimensional than even the best author can make them. My brain is flashing to Schwartzenagger's movie "Last Action Hero" or the episode of Charmed - are any of you old enough to remember that show? - when Phoebe's favorite movie character steps out of the movie. Both of those characters were admittedly flat, and I suppose the idea of both was to show that fictional characters are limited by virtue of being fictional. But I think it could have easily gone the other way. I'm sure there have to be science ficton novels that attack that subject with a vengeance lol. I'm trying to think of how Elizabeth Bennett - who has, of course, been expressed in all sorts of mediums - would change if she became three dimensional. Darcy, too, is somewhat stereotypicaly flat - of course, I think Darcy is the premise of the stereotype, so that may not be fair. That could make a fun story, at least. After all, Austin was limited by the proprieties of her time. It would almost be funny to find out that Mr. Darcy actually had a serious gas problem and was farting all the time!! I suppose none of these quite hits the prompt but it is definitely interesting to think about. |
Today is the first day of the 30-day blog challenge I entered here "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" by Fivesixer  . To be honest, I'm not sure exactly why I joined the challenge, but why not. Today's prompt is to post something positive or uplifting, something that has made me smile.I suppose it would be cheating to rehash my post from earlier this week, but I'm going to micro-cheat. After about a month of straight rejections – longer than I have gone since I started working as a freelance journalist – I picked up four assignments on the same day. That really saves my hide, financially, as the total will cover my base income for the month, overall. I have higher goals for savings and college, but the immediate bill money has been resolved. That is a huge weight off my mind. Yesterday I interviewed one of my scientists via Skype for the story due next week. It's about a recent piece of research that proposes a possible awesome source for a feature on Mars. As the researcher said, it's not a done deal, just one of those papers that puts the idea out there so that other observers can prove or disprove it. I can't really go into details about the feature, but what I wanted to say is, that's one of the things I love about my job. Sometimes there are cool science ideas that I know from the start will be pretty incredible, like this one. Other times, it takes me by surprise, but when I hear a researcher talking about their work enthusiastically, I'm like, that really is awesome. When times are good, it can be very easy to relax into this job, and even some of the fun things begin to feel like drudgery. I'm an introvert, and I'm not a huge fan of phone interviews. When things are going bad, the panicky feeling can further overwhelm the good. So it was pretty cool to have a "I love this job" moment in the middle of the stress. Because, really, I do love this job. I'm going to call the "I love my job" moment my positive thing, since it's a little different from the four assignments. Which I also love. I suppose I need to revise the intro to my blog before the contest starts (I'm writing this up on the evening of the 30th). I kind of like the idea of using the blog to put down some of my general "how tos" on publishing, since I am now securely in the published author sphere. Which still seems odd, after 10 years. |
| We're coming to the end of April, and I've decided to go ahead and enter my blog in "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" by Fivesixer for May. I suppose that means I'll need to clean things up a bit. I'm not sure if the blog name even remains accurate since I am now a full on, frequently published writer. I'll come back to that later, though. Today was a banner day. Started off with yet another rejection from a long-time client due to COVID budget BS. You would think COVID would have little impact on space news and space sites but you would be wrong. Right now, I'm frozen out of three of my clients, roughly 60% of my income from last year (though not a 20/20/20 split). Most of the remaining work is low-paying jobs rather than larger assignments. That means a lot of little stuff, which is more stop and start and loss cost effective for work. One editor has a $0 budget for freelance at the moment, and the other two are just taking dramatically less pitches. The result has been some rather persistent blues. I have continued to pitch to the two that are reduced, but I have been getting a much higher rejection percentage. However, today I knocked the ball out of the park. Pitches that I sent off last month at various times came back positive. First, I realized that one of my rejections from last week included an assignment, due Friday. Short work, but both easy and quick. Then I pinged an editor about a story I'd pitched at the beginning of the month and responded to follow up questions about last week, and he came back with a thumbs up. The third pitch also went out last week, to one of the reduced publications, came back with an acceptance. Overall, that was about $3000 worth of work that came back thumbs up today, a very nice chunk. I say 'about' because we still haven't nailed down the length on the longest and largest assignment. I also made some progress with NASA, who has not been great to work with lately. Their PIO (press info officer) has been dodging me for awhile. I finally screwed up my confrontational gene and called them directly. They said they would move forward towards scheduling my interview by Friday. I'm not going to hold my breath, though. So I suppose the lesson of the day is, keep pitching, even during a pandemic! Because I've really gotten frustrated about the significant increase in rejections and felt like giving up quite often. Then all of a sudden, three acceptances in one day. That's the power of constant pitching. Pitch on! SG |
| It's been a long time - almost a decade - since I formally logged into Writing.com, but the site hasn't been far from my mind for some time. Things have been ridiculously busy, even before the whole COVID-19 crazytime. The short personal updates include my four kids growing up, homeschooled until 9th grade for my middle two, all the way through high school for my oldest, and up til present 8th grade for my youngest. Right now, they are 18, 17, 15 and 13, which is a little insane considering two of them didn't even exist when I started my membership at writing.com. There's also been a divorce, a move, and a home purchase. And, most recently, a new relationship! But for those of you - if there are any still around lol - who are interested in my writing, the biggest news is that I am a professional journalist. Science journalist, specifically, with a focus on space and astronomy. I write for quite a few outlets, including the aforementioned Space.com, Scientific American, Smithsonian, Astronomy, Sky & Telescope - oh and I had my first BBC article last fall! This is my full-time gig, and has been for almost a decade now, so suffice to say this isn't cheap penny pay but more like $1-$1.50/word depending on the outlet. I've lost count of my cover stories for Discover, Sky & Telescope, and Astronomy magazine but I think they are somewhere around 10; it's funny that I've gotten so blase about something that is still pretty awesome. And I love it, even when I complain. I love writing about space and astronomy, I love learning more about the field and keeping on top of the latest developments. I love attending conferences and meeting scientists. Oh and in March I had my first "scoop" - an unnamed source clued me into some NASA shennanigans that resulted in an article for Space.com. I'm still sort of working on that one, and btw NASA press officers must take a class in being obstinate jerks. Anyway, I used my remaining gps to pick up a one month membership, upgraded of course. If it sticks, I'll likely re-sub for a year. That means I'll likely be around for the next month if not the next 12. I'm trying to work on a novel during the COVID crap, and I wanted to access some files that somehow didn't download with the rest of my portfolio, hence the resupply. But I also enjoy reading and reviewing. Which I'm going to go do now. Nice to see y'all again! |
| So, it's been ages since I've written, or even logged onto the site. The reason is because...I've been working! Well, that's not the entire reason, but it's part of it. As of October, I have been writing a nonfiction astrophysics research blog for a major museum. I've also been freelancing at Space.com, which is a website for astronomy and space news. Unfortunately, the two alone aren't enough to pay all of the bills. Lately, I've been working on putting cold calling a number of physics & astronomy departments at universities across the country. I have a few possibles and some definite other leads that have stemmed from these contacts. More positives than negatives. One university said that they were considering hiring me to write some of their online curriculum. Most, of course, are struggling with budget cuts. Still, more positives than negatives. I actually am here because I need to think. And you know me, I think best when I'm writing! As you may or may not recall, I homeschool my four kids, and I'm on the other side of a divorce. I'm trying to find something to do that I love that I can stay at home with. Write now, I'm seriously assaulting the astro-writing arena, since my degree is in both Creative Writing and Astrophysics. I'm trying to seek stability, so I'm looking for something ongoing, but essentially freelancing. That means I can still work at home, but have a little assurance. I'm not sure how well that is going to work, though. I'm considering applying for a position as science writer at a major university (one of the astro depts I cold-called told me about the opening). My only worry is that they're going to want someone full time. However, I may be able to make it work if I can convince them to let me work mostly from home. It's essentially a PR position, so I may be able to teleconference most of what I need to do. I also have several alumnae leads from my college. I'm going to...okay. Listing out what needs to be done has helped me. I've been kind of scatter brained. I'd like a good lead on both. With that in mind, I'm going to sit down tomorrow and make out the applications for the above-mentioned positions (or cold calls). I'll have them in the mail Weds at the earliest. Once I have that done, I'll go back to freelance searching. What I've been doing, essentially, is mailing - yes, snail-mailing - resumes and cover letters out, then following up a week later with a phone call. So, I'm keeping the batches small because I want to be sure I follow up. Essentially, I have a two week cycle, and I'll keep that going. In between, I'll seek out more freelancing opportunities. The other thing I need to sort out and organize is various markets, online and off. These I need to pitch features to. I feel a little nervous about that; however, the reading and research I've been doing is going to help, I think. Some of the articles will be pitched as deadlines loom a little closer, so I'll make a note of them on my calendar. Or in a notebook. Something. I'll have to think about that a little more. It's funny. I try all kinds of things, but writing is what really helps me crystallize my thoughts. And on the plus side - I'm so totally published, and totally getting paid for it besides. Writing about astronomy, which I so totally love. I just need to amp it up a few more notches to keep the money rolling in. And I also need to come up with some good features to pitch to magazines like Sky & Telescope. But I'll get there.... |
| Alright, while I'm in a good spot for the novel, I have to admit I'm a little back-and-forth on my plans. Real, concrete work versus following my dreams.... There is a lot to be said for both at this point. Frankly, I really want to do the novel, and the situation is more ideal for it now than it ever will be, but I also have to be practical. So, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to put it off for a little bit, although I will snatch bits and pieces here and there, as I go. I am trying to get a position as an online Calc & Physics tutor, and I'm putting out some ads to do it in real life, which means charging more (like, $30/hr versus $10), but is less reliable in terms of customers. To do that, I'm doing some quick calc refreshers, brushing up, so I can get the position. So I'm going to go study - which, nerdily enough, I actually enjoy - and then figure out how to fit the writing into it. I think, ideally, I'll put out tutoring times from 7 til late, which is prime time. So, once I've finished studying/brushing up, I can write during rest time. Anyway, we'll see how well that goes. I dunno. I'm feeling kind of pessimistic about several things at the moment, and I'm not certain why. It's kind of a sudden pessimism, too. But I do enjoy the whole math-nerd thing, so it's not terribly bad. I was studying the calc last night, and it made me feel "smart". Sad, isn't it? Anyway. |
| I don't know what the deal is.I am yet again exhausted. I think I have my depression under control, I'm doing good as far as emotional stability, I'm not upset about anything. I've been exercising and drinking more water. I went to bed at 10 last night and actually fell asleep. And yet, here it is 1.30 and I'm exhausted. I think I need to make some lifestyle changes. More veggies, and cut out the soda. Those will be tough but I can't deal with this. It's driving me crazy. I am physically exhausted right this minute, and I don't know why. I'm going to check out some diet books and change my diet significantly. Or something. I don't know. I've been productive the last two days, I got up and out of bed, and now I feel tired to my very bones. It's discouraging. I'm going to lay here and read. Not nap, not write, but read. I'm going to cut out sodas completely; I'll finish the one I already started and that will be it. I'm going to bed at 10 from now on. I'll continue exercising and drinking water. I don't know what else to do. I'm just tired of being so exhausted. My doc checked my blood a few months ago for thyroid problems and had nothing. So, I dunno. edited to add: After some Facebook posts and some thoughts, I think the problem is...wait for it...I think I'm having a sugar crash. I eat a very unhealthy breakfast of cocoa-something, while my kids get only healthy cereal. So, I think I'm going to have to make the switch to something healthier instead. On my walk this morning, I engaged in some serious thinking. The exhaustion was part of it - although apparently it wasn't enough to overcome it today - but also about my attitude. I have a very defeatist attitude. I think, to some extent, I'm scared to finish my novel and make the effort to get it published because then I would have to face the fact that I may not be as good a writer as I think I am. I had this conversation with a friend a few months ago about MENSA. He wanted to know why I didn't apply, and - without even thinking about it - I said, because if I don't get in, it means I'm not as smart as I think I am. It was kind of a 'wow' moment, and I'm wondering if that is where I am with my writing. Of course, IQ is a number. A novel is a judgment call. Just because one editor doesn't think I'm good doesn't mean I'm not. I'll repeat that mantra in the coming months. But still, the novel is ones heart and soul, and to have it rejected - the thought makes me shudder. Anyway, I made another decision. I'm going to stop focusing on word count and page number, except at the end of the week. Fridays, I'll go through and tally things up. It would be nice to have finished 20,000 words a week, but I'm not going to stress about it. I'm not even going to keep track of what page I'm on in my notebook, which will be kind of difficult. I'm going to resist the urge to look back and count what I've done for the day. Also going to be difficult. But I need to focus more on the writing and less on the numbers. So, now that I've taken care of that, I'm going to go write. It's 5.39, and my kids are gone until about 8; all four of them. That gives me two good hours, and I may continue on after bedtime for at least another hour. I'm going to make some changes in how I do things, and we'll see if that helps. Ugh. I hate oatmeal for breakfast. |
I've come to a life realization, and I'll share what part affects my writing. I am tired of moping over what could have been, and I am done with it. It would be nice if things had worked out with my ex-husband, it would be nice if the current emotional crisis could have been resolved the way I wanted it to, but it didn't. I am through with letting other people determine my emotional state. I have an awesome life, I have four amazing kids. Yes, it's tough, but life is tough. We all get through it. Some of us take longer than others.  I am done with allowing other peoples' issues to interfere with what I love doing.I love writing. Yes, it is now a job, which makes it, by default, harder. But still, I love doing it, I would rather do that than work in an office 40 hours a week. Although it is interesting. I think I am learning that, as far as jobs go, I prefer the editing and research and technical writing of writing about space and science. That is a little more varied and forces me to think, and to clarify, and I enjoy that. So, in a few more years, maybe, that's what I'll work on. But for now, I am staying home, and that means putting some fiction together. Although. I am seriously thinking. I would love to...I don't know. I am considering applying for a job. Applying doesn't mean getting, and it would keep my options open. The worst thing that could happen is that I could get it, right? It's two o'clock, which means I really only have two hours until my kids are up. I could spend that time putting together a resume to send, putting together some clips. Or I could write. I don't know. I am looking at this and thinking, if I got the job, it would affect other people. It could affect them. However, they are not my concern. They can deal with their own lives. And if I fail to get the job, well, then it's all for naught, isn't it? There is no point in worrying over what could happen. I think I am going to do this, and if it works out, fantastic. If it doesn't, well, that's fine, too. I will move on. Also, there is a position in Atlanta that I was looking at applying for. I can still manage that. So. I am not writing today. I am going to apply for a job in NYC. Is that crazy or what? But it is a job I would love to have. Tonight, I will write. I will write my ever-loving heart out. But today, I'm going to put together the application, and start the process. What is the worst that can happen? Rejection. Well, I've been fairly well rejected lately, so I think I'll be fine. |
| I don't know what is going on with me, but I just feel exhausted all of the time. And this with constant exercising, which is supposed to make me feel like I have more energy! I tried waving it off to physical exhaustion, but the truth is, I feel emotionally wrung out. I know all the 'why's, it's not like it's confusing. But. It's hard to do something as creative and emotionally taxing as writing when I feel like my heart is exhausted. I know that's an excuse, but I don't even care. I just want to go back to bed. I'm trying to get myself excited about my novel again, but I don't seem to be having much luck. I'm lacking the self-discipline to write my way through it when I am worn out. I am trying to decide if I am, in fact, going to fail with this plan. Maybe I will have to try a few other options and work on the novel in my spare time, until I get to be more disciplined. I hate that I have the whole thing mapped out and am failing on the writing part. Especially since I have done it once. It's not confidence: I know I can do this, and I know I'm a good writer. And I know, in terms of income, that I need to do this, or something else. But...I don't care. That's bad. In reality, I can survive on the child support. Further income would only serve to give me something to fall back on, for emergencies or for having, like, a life, or for retiring. I know my kids won't starve. I hate settling. I hate giving up. But at the moment, apparently, I am a quitter. I am exhausted. I feel like I've gone through the wringer. I don't know what it is about me, at the moment, but I feel...I don't know. I just don't really feel, much. I feel almost dead inside, and everything I have, I'm giving to the kids. I'm trying to keep the house clean and the schoolwork going and the hugs for everyone, and I just don't have much desire or energy to do much else, honestly. And it sucks, because I need to, I need to get off my ass and do it, either write or find other work, but I just don't care. I feel fractured. I feel like every one of my emotions is sectioned off, partitioned, separate. I feel...I don't know exactly what I feel, but I don't like it much at all. But I don't care enough to do anything about it, really. |
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