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 |  Newest Entry: July 24 - New Contest |
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I used to have this wonderful long description here of exactly what this journal would be... but I cannot say that it was entirely accurate. The journal has taken a mind of its own, so I guess the only description I can really give it is: A Collection Of My Thoughts As I have discovered many times in my writing, as well as in my life - things don't always go the way you plan them to. I am still happy with this journal, however. It gives me a place to lay down how I am feeling, or even just to document what I've been doing. Not bad, huh? Feel free to putter through the entries, and come back to visit often! You never know what you might find here. Newest entries are at the top of the list. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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| ... pay attention to this reminder! I know it's been a long time. Really, when isn't it, anymore? Over at the school, some business called the "North Pole" settled themselves in the elementary library, tempting the students to spend money on their goods to surprise their parents, siblings, and whoever else with gifts. I gave my children $20 each to spend, and... surprisingly.... they both came home with change! Also, surprisingly, they came home with some pretty good little items. My son got me a silver hooked bookmark with a dangly heart and blue beads, and my daughter got me a little heart paperweight that says "I Love Mom!" on it. CUTE! Even cuter that my five year olds were able to pick it and give it to me themselves. As for the money spent... it wasn't that bad. They got some pretty good little things, and my daughter brought home $6 change, my son $13. Yes, yes... I know. It's encouraging them to spend money, but they did really well! When I want to spend, it's always much more than I actually have, which turns out inevitably bad. Seems like the kids have it down better than I do. (I fully expected them to spend all twenty on themselves, and spend nothing on anyone else.) I still haven't bought a single thing for Christmas... for anyone. I have a tendency to only buy for my husband, and no one else - when I even get the opportunity to do that! I... simply don't know what to get him, though. |
| I've been receiving the dreaded "Update Your Blog" email in my inbox every evening for a week or so now, and I think, Man, I really need to update my blog. But then I sit and think, Geez, but what am I going to say? Everything, and nothing! No, no... not really. A lot has been going on lately. I intended to do NaNo, and then I just... didn't. I've had some great things going, though, and perhaps that's why! I started a group over a month ago, now, named "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS"  [E]. I've got a great group of members in there, and it's been incredibly successful. I just love that I have the support of every one of them. It's great.I've been running a raffle: "Invalid Item" . That's been a blast, too, and I can't wait to do the rolling and see who gets to win! My RR Crew, and others who have been kind enough to donate, have some great prizes in there to add more winners than just the grand prize ones. People have really gotten together.I've had the honor of reading an absolutely wonderful novel - though it's not complete. I'll look forward to reading the rest of that once it is!\ Add all of that to the top of working, parenting, and being a wife - I've been a bit busy. So, yeah. A lot has been going on. Sorry for the lack of updates. |
Aennaytte: Free & Wild in GoT  inspired me to write an entry about food. I haven't had one of those in a long time, so I felt it appropriate!Have you ever thought about everything that you can do with hot dogs? Disgusting little things, if you know what they're made from - but they're so versatile! You can have them wrapped in bread dough, wrapped in cornmeal and on a stick, wrapped in a corn tortilla and fried with cheese, with chili and cheese on top, plain, with ketchup and mustard, in a bun, out of a bun, chopped up into macaroni and cheese, burned on a grill, fried in a pan, boiled in water... !!! As this is beginning to remind me of Forest Gump's gumbo scene, I'll stop - but really... the only thing you can't eat hot dogs with is whipped cream and strawberries. (Unless they're on the side!) Oh, the joys of parenthood. |
| I've always taken brief glances through the WDC shop, but I actually took a serious look at it today. (I went looking up the prices for a year of premium membership - which I've always wanted very badly. I looked up a year because, I didn't think I'd be able to maintain having the cash to update it on a three month or six month basis. As it is, I can't afford a year, either, right now! Ah well.  )There's some pretty cool stuff in there - the WDC hoodie being one of them. This could, perhaps, be because I'm a sucker for hooded sweatshirts, but I'll ignore that. The journals, the pens, the... goodness, there's a lot of stuff! I hate that I like to shop. Curses for being at home and sick! I look up things I'd get in trouble for buying. |
| I rearranged my port - it seems to make a little more sense now. At least a little bit. I also shamelessly added pictures and sigs all over the place to make it look a little more like... something to look at, rather than a folder to ignore and a bunch of stuff inside. I also started a new group called "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS" [E] that has been a blast for me, and I hope for some others, too! I think that I'll probably be the main reviewer, at least for now until NaNo is over. But then, I am supposed to be participating in NaNo, too, so we'll see how it goes.There's also my "Invalid Item" !I guess I've just been busy running around all over the site and getting hooked again, but it's so much better than some other things that I could be doing. Have fun! |
| ... by looking at pictures on a website. Granted, I look at all of the normal ones: icanhascheezburger.com and all of the related affiliates, peopleofwalmart.com, fmylife.com - but this is a new one. Unlike all of the daily updated ones, this just has a long list of pictures, but... most of them are pretty darned funny! So if you need a chuckle, take a look, yeah? http://www.txroadrunners.com/inetpicsa.htm (I suggest the Mickey Mouse T-Shirts one.) |
| I got a review in my email this morning that said: "It's too short, leaves everything to the imagination." That's all it said, and then I got a 3.0. Forgive me... but I found this amusing, considering it was a review of a microfiction/flash fiction piece that I wrote a long time ago. If I remember right, we had to have exactly 250 words to compete in the competition. I had completely forgotten that this little story was in my port! "Invalid Item" It makes me smile to read it again, though. I made it particularly cavity-inducing. I suppose, if anything, this reminds me that if I write something for a competition - I should clarify the rules within the piece so someone who is reading it knows why it is the way it is. (Though I do have "microfiction" in the item description.) Ah well, it was good for a smile this morning! |
| Today, one of my friends from high school just had a beautiful little baby girl. I can't help but remember mine that would have been born two weeks ago, had all gone as was planned. Luckily, despite the hell of a lot of hurt I went through with that labor, I can only think of good thoughts of my son. How I felt him moving in my stomach, and how I started showing in my second month. (Wow!) His weight, though slight, against my chest once he was born. I do miss my little Angel. |
| I have had this phone now for more than a year, and I think it is the first one I have not gotten tired of in about 3 months. (And, of course, they stopped making it about a month after I bought it, so I'd just better not break it.) Why is the phone significant, you ask? Well... I am typing on it now. Not only that, I discovered, today, that I can answer emails on WDC and make forum posts on WDC with my phone. six months ago, the most I could do with it is barely read emails and look at funnies on icanhascheezburger. Yay for technology! And yay fo keeping a phone long enough for them to update it enough that I can accomplish these sorts of things! (I am logging in from my phone while at my in-law's house where they have no net. Obsession, or desperate need to not be late on another contest entry? Hmmm...) EDIT: Okay - correction. I cannot respond to emails from here apparently. (Something about 'send' doesn't work with my phone.) But I can still read them! |
| Yeah, so I had it once before when I was pregnant - two months ago. Just... out of nowhere. I wasn't doing anything but sitting, and suddenly this pain started radiating from my front, all the way to my back. My back hurt the worst, so that's where I thought the problem was. Since I was pregnant, though, I was not allowed to get x-rays, or... many of the things they would have needed to run tests, so my doctor sent me home and told me to rest. So I did. Two days of terrible, terrible pain - and then... I got up to use the restroom, and suddenly *POOF*, it was gone. So I thought nothing of it. I moved slowly for a few days, and other than that, I was fine. I chalked it up to weird, freakish accident - and then moved on with my life. Well, it happened again last night. 3 A.M. I wake up suddenly, realizing that I can't lay still. No position makes me comfortable. So I flop around like a fish, desperately trying to find some sort of angle that will make it better, and it just doesn't. Nothing helps. I have to hunch over the toilet a few times to heave up my dinner, and then whatever else decided to come up - my stomach making it to saliva several times, because there is simply nothing TO come up. So I suffer with this an hour, then decide to go to the emergency room. Yes, I have given birth recently. Yes, it was THAT bad. My husband was against it at first, then finally just told me to go. Luckily, I only had three blocks to drive. UNluckily, because the emergency room is so small, doctors aren't on site. It took him an hour and a half to get there. So I laid there in pain, doing the best I could to throw up in the little bin they gave me when the time came, and the hunched over position actually helped a bit... so I just stayed there - legs crossed indian style, leaning forward so my arms rested on the bed, and my head on my arms. Ouch. Doctor shows up, pushes in all sorts of places that hurt like hell, then says he's going to transport me to a larger city, because he thinks I have gallstones, and maybe something else going on, too. I groan, accept it, and they pull up the stuff to put in an I.V. They lay me down, start to raise the bed, it jerks, and.... the pain vanishes. VANISHES! I say something, and they just look at me in disbelief. I swear to you, though, it happened. It took a shorter time, but maybe the doctor had magic hands or something. Diagnosis stands, though - I'm getting some tests done today to see if the diagnosis is accurate. Blah. This is not my year medically. I owe even MORE people, now. ----------------------------------------- And... thank you, Anonymous. The subscription really did help out a lot.  |
| Oy... so I deleted a LOT of emails because there were so many when I got back, and I guess I deleted all of the "You need to upgrade!" emails. Yes, yes... my subscription expires the 15th of this month. Scraping up the cash is highly unlikely, I'll figure out what to do this weekend. Oy. Anyway! I have had to find a lot of things to keep me busy since I no longer am working at the moment. I thought I'd share a few with you, if nothing else. http://sarajean.mybrute.com - this is, by far, my favorite. It takes some time to get yourself up since you only can do three fights a day, but it's something I can enjoy, and it only takes me 10 minutes each day to maintain. Kinda nice. Feel free to come and fight my brute using this link - if you decide to keep your brute, I get experience from it, too. http://www.the-west.net/ - this one, I admit, can be kind of boring. You set something, let it run anywhere from 10 minutes to 8 hours, and then go back to do something else later. Ugh. But... as I said, I've little else to do, so I check back periodically and get my character going at something new. http://www.kadokado.com/present - it's got some low-key webgames. You can only play four a day unless you want to pay for extra playtime, but I'm okay with four games a day. I have my favorites, and I toy with them. You can create a clan on here, too... get a bunch of people playing four times a day! Earn as many stars as you can, etc. It's cute. http://www.bored.com/boomshine/index.htm - I like the music, and the game itself keeps me occupied (and usually a little frustrated) for long periods of time. The best part of it? If I have an emergency and have to get up to go do something - no big deal! It'll still be there when I get back. Know anything else to keep me busy? (Other than housework and cooking? I'm doing plenty of that as it is. *grumps*) |
| I haven't been here - or even logging in - for quite some time. Truth is, I had my baby. He was born on April 22, 2009. Unfortunately, he died the week before that while still in the womb. ---------------------- We found out on April 13th that he might have something called "Trisomy 18" or "Edwards Syndrome". The result came from a blood test of mine, and my doctor received it at the exact same time we did. No one had any time to prepare. My doctor became very, very quiet - and I had to look up what it was later. She told me that there was a 1 in 8 chance he had it, but it was still incredibly frightening. We scheduled an Amnio for the very next week, to confirm the diagnosis. She was also a bit panicky because he had only developed to 15 weeks, but I was 17 weeks pregnant. The last time she had seen me was at 13 weeks, and things were going just fine at that point. Perfectly, even. The last time I'd seen him on the ultrasound, he looked like he was riding a bicycle - so active. Everything I saw when I looked up these medical terms was devastating. Like Downs Syndrome, this syndrome is caused by an extra allele in a chromosome. For this one, the 18th. Edwards Syndrome is more deadly than Downs Syndrome, though. According to three different reports I read, 95% of the children that have this syndrome die in the womb. Of those that are born, only about 1% live past 5 days. I was shell-shocked. I hardly slept that night, and I took the next day off of work. I had to deal with it in my own way. By the time I returned to work that Wednesday, I was composed for the most part. I'd accepted that my baby had a great possibility of dying if it had this disorder, and clung to the hope that it didn't have it. That things were just fine. That the blood test was wrong, and the Amnio would turn out just fine. So I kept hope up, praying for God's will either way. But this isn't just about me - there are two of us. Four of us, even. My husband and I, and our twins. My husband and I spoke about the situation. We both agreed - if God should want this baby now, then there was a reason, and we were blessed to have him in our life - even if for such a short time. The children we haven't said much to, even now. We will when they ask - someday it will happen. So we went to the Amnio the next Monday. I watched the screen, and my heart froze for a moment - the figure we were seeing wasn't moving. The doctor confirmed my fears, there was no heartbeat. Our baby was already dead. We did the amnio anyway, and the fluid that was drawn out - rather than being crystal clear and healthy - was the color of old, dried blood. I was told that this was common when the fetus had already 'expired'. This was the day after Easter. We actually took the news fairly well at this point. We were sad, but we'd prepared ourselves the week before, so we were ready for it. He'd stopped developing at fifteen weeks, and he'd died sometime in the eighteenth week. We went immediately over to my other doctor, and I was told that to prevent infection we'd need to get the baby out as soon as possible. I was set to go into the hospital Wednesday morning, midnight, so they could start inducing labor. I had my precious baby at nearly noon on Wednesday - the inducing medications worked unusually fast. My husband was at my side the entire time - my supportive rock. The baby was an ounce and a half in weight, and seventeen centimeters long. His legs were very strong and long - he was going to be a tall one. The top of his skull had never formed, even though the back had, and his face had. He'd have had no protection for his tiny little brain. God knew what he was doing. The nurses were amazing, I've never had such a supportive group of strangers around me. Add my husband and my mother to all of that, and it was easy to feel loved and cared for. His name is Angel Davis. Angel because he will always be our precious little angel... and Davis for my father, who was unable to be there when he so wanted to be. |
| I stood behind a woman in line at the grocery store yesterday. It took them half an hour to check her out, because she argued with them about EVERY price. Every single one. She was buying vegetables and fruits.... at the end of the purchase, how much did she spend? Between 8 and 9 dollars. That's IT... and it took half an hour because of all of her arguments. I was after her, it took about ten minutes to check me out. (I had much more than 8 or 9 dollars to spend, and I didn't argue about any pricings. >.<) Walk out to my car... only to discover that this woman is STILL outside staring at her receipt. The receipt she spent half an hour arguing over every price on - she was still sitting in her car staring at it, trying to find out what else she could get off of it. I pity the people working at the grocery store! I comment about it, saying, "Eight dollars, and she's STILL staring at the receipt. I'd be looking at my receipt if I'd spent four hundred dollars, but not eight." The woman who took out my groceries said... "She's always like that." Wow. I understand being frugal, and making every penny count... but this borders on ANAL. (The prices weren't wrong, by the way. She just tried to work out personal discounts, claiming they were cheaper... so every single time, they had to check it. Luckily, the fruit and vegetable section was right beside the cashier, so they just placed someone in there to walk back and forth and check every single price. When that didn't work, she claimed their scale was off.) |
| Loss We lost one of our students last week. I wrote in here, a long time ago, about a student who was put into intensive care last school year. It was this same student who passed away just last week. It hit our students very, very hard - but they're beginning to cope. The community, as well, was hit right in the heart. Despite the fact that the funeral was more than two hours away, almost the entire town attended.I'm told the funeral was standing room only... with an overflow outside. What shocked us most... is that it was very sudden. Just the day before, even a few days before, he was healthy and happy. Then, out of nowhere, he was in the hospital... and they were "waiting", just the very next day. I didn't go to the viewing... I didn't want to see him like that. I wanted to remember him happy. Perhaps I'm terrible for that... ---------------------------------- Gain So... I'm gaining a middle. I've always HAD a middle, but now I am getting a very rounded one. Cute, and a tiny bit annoying at the same time. (I hate having to spend so much money on clothes, just to have them not fit a month later.) I'm showing earlier this time - understandable with how stretched my tummy already was after the twins. Ten weeks, and the baby looked like a little teddy bear (minus the rounded ears at the top of the head) on the ultrasound. I do have a blood clot in my uterus... but it seems to be going away. It's nowhere near the baby, there's no bleeding, and I just have to be careful for a while. Seems like everything is going just fine. |
| I forgot to update this once I found out. (Slap my hand. It's alright.I'll understand.) Our family will grow on around about September 13, 2009. My other children will be five years old by that point, so it's a good timing for the age thing... but not so good for school teaching. >.< Ah well, we will manage the best we can. I'll just.... get an extra long summer with some awkward days, I suppose. (I'll still need to get all of the lessons and everything ready for when I'm going to be out. Ouchers, it's a lot of time.) On the plus side, I had some strawberries. I strawberries. YUM! |
| So, I've been exhausted lately. I had no idea why, though I thought it was just work. It's always hard returning to work after a break, especially Christmas Break. But no, it's because I'm pregnant. The last time, I'd get home from work and immediately go to bed. That's about how I'm feeling now. It's nearly impossible to remain awake every day once I get home. (Wow.) So here's to hoping it's just one this time! (Though I'd be alright if it were more, it might very well near wear me out completely.) So if I'm grouchy, or tired, or... just not around, now you know why. |
| I had a second grader come in to see me this morning, trying to sell raffle tickets for her little sister, who is in pre-k. These two little girls happen to be the daughters of a very good friend of mine, and fellow teacher. The raffle tickets cost $2, and I only had a $5, so this is the conversation that resulted from that situation: Me: I only have a five dollar bill. Do you have change? Her: Huh? Me: I only owe you two dollars, but I have to pay you five. I'll need three dollars in change. Her: But you can't do that. Me: Why? Her: Well, other people have paid that money, and they are supposed to have their own raffle tickets, so you can't take their money. It wouldn't be fair! Me: But I'm giving you five dollars. I only owe you two. That means it's three dollars too much. Her: But that's other people's money! You can't take it! That's not fair! You should have seen the look on her face... she was devistated that I, one of her mother's friends, would want to take money away from other people that bought raffle tickets! It took us going to the principal and superintendent (me giggling the entire time) to convince her that I wasn't trying to steal any money. She just kept saying, "But... I don't understand. I just... I don't understand." I tracked her mother down and told her about the situation, and we both turned red with laughter. The poor little sweetie... man am I glad I teach older grades... |
| I got a newer picture to put on here - good or bad, it's here. It's a little different from last year's - or quite a bit different. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Even this past year, as an adult, I've gone through a lot of changes. I have gotten rid of the glasses and replaced them with contacts... I began wearing makeup... and no, unfortunately, I've always been white as a sheet. that's no change. Gosh, you think kids change from year to year, but truthfully, we can, too. Oh, the odd things that life throws at you, and the strange affects it can have on us. Sometimes - like in my case, I guess - I just needed to gain some "visual" confidence. Something that my husband calls vanity, and should probably be something that I shouldn't care about. But truthfully, when I feel "pretty", I feel better. It makes it easier to get up in the mornings, to get through the workday. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't like... obsess over it - once my makeup is done, it's done. I don't touch it again the rest of the day. I don't fuss with my clothing or do any of that sort of thing, but I like to feel attractive. Why did I suddenly have this need? Oh... there's so many reasons, and I really won't go into them here. When one takes hit after hit after hit on their self-esteem, both from those they love and respect, and from those they really don't care for - one must do something in return to boost it back up, or they'll be stuck in a rut. I've been there before, and I didn't want to do that again. |
| (These are random thoughts - inspired by several things that have happened recently in my own life, in other people's lives, and in just idle thoughts of mine.) Ah... the lovely relationships that are coined as 'internet friendships' are probably the most liquid of friendships out there. Some people just stop logging on, and vanish into thin air. Others... Others. When honesty is termed drama, because one tells the truth about how one feels about something the other person has done - and it is immediately taken in the wrong context. Therefore, you create drama by telling the truth. Others. When you make a request - totally innocent and without malice - and you are then accused of being jealous, or mad, or many other things that might go with a request. When, in fact, you are none of those until you hit get mad after being accused. Others. When text simply can't convey things the way you mean them. The lack of emotion in text never can tell a person what a facial expression can. Others. When lying about something as simple as whether or not they have had a good day can turn into a big mess, because the person they lied to didn't know their sensitivity level because of that bad day - because they'd not been informed, so they make very huge screw-ups. Others. The ones that virtually hang up on you because they get pissed off, but unlike phones, you can't call them back and demand a resolution. Others. The ones that ASSUME you've done the virtual hang-up, when you really just lost internet connection at the worst time, and can't get back on. Others. When one day you mean a lot to them, but wake up the next day and you find that they've removed you from every form of communication you ever had - and quite absently, you do the same. (And possibly even some that they've forgotten about.) Others. The ones that you've considered cutting off, too, because of situations that have happened in the past, but for one reason or another, you decided not to. Maybe because despite the few arguments or fights, overall their company was enjoyed, and after you thought about it for a while, you realized that you didn't want to cut them off. Others. When other people get ahold of them, and spread their OWN opinions about you, and somehow despite every interaction they've had with you that states the contrary, the other person suddenly becomes right and you become evil incarnate. Others. When one decides to cut you off - and won't even say it to your face. They have to send you an email, or a message board PM, or something that you'll get when you wake up or get home from work to see and have no chance to respond to because they've already blocked your every method of response... -------------------------- Sometimes it makes a person wonder who is in the wrong - if anyone is at all. Personality clashes online are just as easy to come by as personality clashes in real life. Some people, maybe, are just not meant to be friends. I say this because I think back to the other friends that I have. Some dating back four years, six years... one even as far as ten years. Granted, I've never met them face to face, but you get to the point where it feels like you know almost everything about them - if they are indeed telling the truth. Have I had "drama" with these people? Certainly. So what was the difference? ... I don't know. Maybe it goes back to that meant to be thing. If it's meant to be worked out, then it will be. If not, then it won't, and in that case, it might be best to just move on and try to forget - and forgive in the process - whatever decision the other person has made that got you angry in the first place. Compromise has to be wanted by both parties. When one gives up, it's simply not possible. When they cut you off, you can be pretty sure that they've given up. |
| Ridiculous... absolutely ridiculous. You'd think that when you're staying at a hotel that costs as much EVERY NIGHT as I pay in groceries for an entire month ($300), you would get free internet. Hell, I've seen hotels that are $39.99 a night that give free internet. It might be sucky, but it's free. Well, my hotel didn't. They charged $10 for each night you wanted internet (plus tax). I wasn't willing to spend $50 on internet, so... I didn't have internet for this week. It was unexpected, and I think I gave a few people a mild heart attack, but everything is alright. I'm fine, I'm home, and I now have my net again. It might be glitchy and drop me without warning, but... at least I have it. The trip was fun. I got to see some friends that I've not seen for about 10 years, and we were all wondering about reunions and such. Got to chat, laugh, groan, and do all that sort of thing. Reminisce about old times, talk about old friends (and enemies), chuckle about high school in general... very nice. I spent every evening with friends, one that was common to every gathering. She's a good friend, and I love having her around. My co-worker was amusing, and comfortable enough with me by the end of the trip that he was singing anytime I said a phrase that was close to that of one in a song. *le sigh* That's alright, though. It was amusing. He wasn't a bad trip partner, though I'm fairly certain that having him at my side did keep a lot of people from talking to me. (He's very tall, extremely good looking, dresses very well, and a bit intimidating.) Again, though, it was alright! Kept me safe. :) Anyway, it's over, and I'm home. Miss me? |
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This is absolutely hilarious! My kind of humor.
. Number twelve tickled the kid in me 
My life's been busier than normal, too, but NOTHING like yours. 
Hope everything's okay.
