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Hope is here. By hope i mean university life. |
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No longer am i speaking AGAINST what is wrong with the world. I am now part of the problem. But, i still maintain some of my morals.. so it's a moral conflict right now. I understand why people do wrong, but i know what's right and these are my views from behind enemy lines... If you're new to this, the posts are from newest to oldest. So, all of the new stuff are to the top. So read from bottom to top for chronological order if you want Oh! This is something new. I'm being featured in a story which tells about my days at university. Check it out to see what really happens to me on a daily basis and how i conduct myself. Its 100% FACT
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| Hey everyone, well all my old vices are back and i guess they're here to stay. I'm still a gaming whore and i drink every weekend. I'm wasting alot of time, but extra-curricular activities are making me more open-minded on different aspects of life. Its hard to be studious and achieve your goals. I guess that's why they're so hard because only those that TRULY want it will achieve... I need to get back my zeal... not sure how, but I will |
| I'm just going downhill right now. I mean compared to how i was one year ago, i'm doing alot better, its just that i'm not performing to my top potential. I outlined specific goals for myself this year and i feel as if i'm underachieving. I'm lacking something.. i'm lacking the motivation to push me to do better.. i hope motivation finds me.. because i certainly can't find it. |
| Well, i just got a haircut and WOW do i feel different. Not different as in I have super-powers different. Different as in I feel GREAT. Wow, its such a difference when you know you look good. I guess i now understand a bit better when people talk about if you look confident, you'll feel confident. If you don't feel good about yourself, then how could u feel good about anything. I guess that's why does pretty bitchy girls always take so much time to do their make up and shoes and stuff. And that's why their ego's are bigger than their butts 3/4 of the time. Can't talk much, time is pressing on me. See you later peeps |
| Well, lately I've been watching one of my favourite movies of all times Batman Begins and in it I heard a very interesting statement. "Bruce .. underneath you may still be that sweet little boy, but it's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you" This is very deep.. in that it tells you that the world doesn't see who you are underneath, but in fact they know you by your actions and what they see. Unfortunately for me, this is a bad definition.... because i'm more than what people see... i'm more than merely my actions.. underneath i'm so much more.. so so much more.. maybe the world will never know.. maybe i'll just be another wasted potential in life.. I hope not. I hope someone realises that i have much more to offer |
| Well ever since my whole drinking fiasco, i've been receiving alot of flack from the world... well not exactly from the world, just from some people. Am i running from them no.. its just that they don't exactly fit into my new schedule. Its kinda hard to explain, but ever since what happened I'm doing more of what i'm SUPPOSED to be doing. The right thing. And if doing the right thing means cutting out some things/people then so be it. Sacrifices must be made... |
| Geez an crackers. I messed up big time. I drank ALOT yesterday. I got stink nasty drunk. I feel very bad today... Not bad as in sick/hangover bad (i don't get hangovers for some reason) i feel bad because I messed up. I messed up in terms of my beliefs. I'm re-reading one of my previous entries and i just feel so dumb. I know i'm only human, but these are mistakes you try to avoid... I hurt alot of people yesterday and for that i'm sorry. Geez... Failure is a hell of a thing. One thing i learned out of this is that i've been slacking. Now that i've passed the lowest of my lows i can only rise from it. I know what i need to do now... Oh in an update i'm not doing Latin dance anymore because my schedule doesn't permit it. I joined Hiking club instead. Go figure... |
| All i have to say is I felt a distinct change when I went on campus today. It wasn't like last semester.. i just felt differet... I felt confident and i felt prepared. I knew what I came to do and I knew what my purpose was. But, I know i have a long road ahead of me. This was only the first day, a minor step in the long journey ahead, but still a step nevertheless. I signed up for Peer Counselling, Computer club and the Human Communication Association. I still have Latin dance, Karate and French club to join. Not to mention getting a job, juggling 3 hours of swimming per week and 2 sessions of gym! Alot to juggle, but it will help keep me focused and I will also expand my friends network, Not to mention today I've written the first chapter of the Chronicles Of Floyd Banks series (click this link to check it out http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1152776). This is a more deatiled view of the life of Banks seen through a story perspective! I'm out peeps! |
| Good night to all those who follow my entries. Its the day before I go back to university. But, what makes tomorrow so special is that its going to be the first day of my 2nd year in university. But, what makes it so special? Well... tomorrow is suppsoed to test many of my beliefs and strengths i have come to acquire over the past 3 months. I keep talking about breaking addictions and fighting for what's right, well NOW IS THE MOMENT OF TRUTH. I will have temptaion bombarding me left, right and centre. I will have trials of courage and stature every hour upon the hour while i am on campus. It will test my character and my integrity. Am i exaggerating about what is about to happen, not in the slightest. Because in MY life, these are the things that really happen, to others it may not be so, but to ME, this is what truly occurs... and it is not something you wish to experience... I hope I can maintain my disciplines and my principles which i have preached about. I hope i can practice what i say, i hope i will be a leader and not continue the path of a follower. I hope ... i hope... scratch hope... instead of saying I hope, replace it with I believe. Because I believe in myself and I have faith in what the Lord has in store for me. And with that i'm out peeps. Take care of yourself and each other |
| Well, i have to fight for many things. I have to FIGHT if i want a better education. I have to FIGHT if i want to become succesful. I have to FIGHT... i have to FIGHT to do almost everything i plan to do. I not only have to fight myself, but also my parents, family and also my friends. I have plans.. not drastic plans to become a sadist or anything, but i have to plans to change myself completely. I have to FIGHT to attain a better attitude, i have to FIGHT to attain respect from my colleagues, i have to FIGHT to bring out what is right... Too long have things been going awry... but sometimes when we FIGHT we lose the battle... we lose the things we strive for.. we lose precious soldiers which could relate back to seconds and minutes in my life... but sometimes even though we lose the battle, doesn't mean we lose the war. I hope to come back and read this entry an be inspired at my words for i know i will lose some battles in the days and months to come, but I KNOW that at the end of the day after I'm tired from all of the battles and obstacles i had to overcome i will stand proud and be able to say... I fought for what i believed in... Take care of yourself everyone.. i'm out |
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