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 |  I write, therefore I am |
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I write, therefore I am. I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough. PLUGS:
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| I like the rain, but I hate it. It washes away the world and makes it clean again. THere is nothing like the smell in the air after a rain in the springtime. There is nothing quite like kissing your special someone under a soft drizzle. It's just indescribable. There lips warm against yours and the sweet taste of rain on their lips. Yet, rains like tonight depress me. The wind is blowing and lightning is flashing. Rain is coming down in hard sheets and the world seems darker than it should be. I want to call her just to hear her voice and draw comfort from her presence. It is nearly one in the morning so I will not call her, but by all I hold dear I would like to. It has been almost a week since my uncle passed away and I still have yet to truly get upset by the fact that he is gone. I want to, but I just cannot. Everytime I get to the edge of tears they fade away and I am left to wonder where they went. NOw I am sure that he would be fine with that, he was never one to want a fuss made. He was my John Wayne. You know, the tough as nails no nonscense guy who is really not tough as nails. Does that make me Ron Howard to his Shootist, or A Martinez to his tough guy from The Cowboys? Either way he is gone and I am left to live on without him. So in his memory I will take a longneck Bud and drink it leaning on the back of a pick-up just as he used to do. Love like there is no tomorrow, and live eachday like it is your last. It just might be. On a side note my contest has over 50 hits in two days. Hopefully I will get some good entrants. I am looking forward to see what peoples come up with. My qoute for the day; Sometimes it's hard to understand the drift of things. This was a good boy. He'd have been a good man. He didn't get his chance. Death can come for ya any place, any time. It's never welcomed. But if you've done all you can do, and it's your best, in a way I guess you're ready for it. Wil Anderson (John Wayne) - The Cowboys |
| You know it's funny how people you have never seen or met in person can become part of your life. Besides the blogs listed to the left of your screen, there are others that I frequent whenever I see them posted. These blogs are like conversations with friends, although onesided at first. lol. THe point I am not reaching is this. It's funny how people you would pass on the street without knowing who they were can be missed. Two of my favorite people seem to have disappeared from the site in the past month or so, Gaijin De Moscu and Man of Words. Everyday I check their ports to see if there is anything new and there isn't. The strangest thing is in Gaijin's port almost all of his stuff has been made private; from the excellent novel he was working on to his review forum to his BLOG. Like I said it's funny that you can miss people you have never met. That's all I have to say about that. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend. Red (Morgan Freeman) - Shawshank Redemption |
So as if I don't have enough on my plate with my two paternal and two maternal family trees, writing Perpetual Rage, Price of Vengenace, various other odds and ends, reading my growing family of blogs, watching movies, the new season of Lost, and WOW. I have decided to start my own contest. God help me get away from WDC, I think I are becoming addicted. lol.
This is my first contest and since I have over 20k worth of GPs that I wont be using for upgrade I have decided to give them away as prizes in my contest. I would like to do so every month, but that will all depend on wether I manage ro acrue 20K gps every month or I get donations of GP's for the contest. We shall see of enquiring reader. lol. Well I have so much I want to say but not enough words to say them. Or the time really. You see I am man hear me roar, (meow) and it is FOOTBALL SEASON. WOOT. I must away and root for the Redskins to beat them lowly Cowboys. So until I return again go read DUCK DUCK WAR!!!
My qoute for the day will be football related just because (meow); I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch. And I know, if I'm gonna have any life any more it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch, because that's what living is, the six inches in front of your face. Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think ya going to see a guy who will go that inch with you. Your gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team, because he knows when it comes down to it your gonna do the same for him. That's a team gentlemen, and either, we heal as a team, or we will die as individuals. That's football guys, that's all it is. Now what are you gonna do? Tony D'Amato (Al Pacino) - Any Given Sunday |
Just when you thought things couldn't get any funnier, they have. You must read the latest in the Great Duck Duck War. I mean really just too funny. Well at three parts of it anyway.
I have finally finishes chapter five for Perpetual Rage and I think it stands pretty good on it's own. It kinds of gives a little more sympathy to the main character. If you would like to take a peak.
My great uncles funeral was yesterday in the sweltering heat. My great aunt's daughter fainted and didn't know where she was. Thank goodness that was the only incident. I got to see a lot of my family and share stories of my Uncle Buck as well as other family stories. I handed out cards for people to contact me so I can contiue working on my family trees. Maybe I will find someone as cool as PlannerDan did. My luck it will be someone like CC. LOL. I still hadn't really gotten upset before the funeral. THe funeral itself was actually pretty happy which is probably how Uncle Buck would have wanted it. Still I miss him already. Only after I felt a hand on my back and turned to see my lady friend did I get upset and let her comfort me. You sure is some kind of special. I think that is all I have to say for today so I shall leave you with a qoute from one of my Uncle Bucks favorite actors; I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them. John Benard Books (John Wayne) - The Shootist |
| Recently I began reading PlannerDan's novel, which is very good by the by. It is loosly based on the life of one of his ancestors. This motivated me to look into my own background. I looked into my mother and father's families and I have gotten all the way back to 1862 and my great great grandmother on my father's side. Mainly I am interested in my mother's father's side of the faimily. My grandfather was 3/4 indian and I always wanted to find what tribe he belonged to. I have heard Apache and Navajo, but I tend to think that is more fantastical thinking by family members. It is probably a lesser known tribe from eastern Virginia. My half-uncle Wayne from my grndfathers first marriage, to a full blooded Indian, is a preacher on reservations in the Dakotas. I think I will have to drop him a line to see what he knows, we don't keep in contact with him much. Sorry, I am a little distracted at the moment and I have turned from what I wanted to talk about today. A month ago one of my great uncles became ill. There was fluid on his brain. THe fluid was drained and the after effects were much like that of a stroke. He returned home and things seemed to be going well, he recognized people even though he couldn't speak to them. If an improvement was not made in twenty days he was going to be put in a nursing home. Last night he died, in his bed with his dog beside him, in his sleep. I didn't get to say boodbye and tell him that I loved him. I have to go now it's hard to see the screen. In loving memory James "Bucky" Stanley Belote 1932-2005 |
| It really amuses me how things go on this great website. Items in my port were view today thirty times as of this writing, with only four ratings and two reviews. I don't understand why it is so hard for people not to give a review when they read something. I mean if I take the time to stop and read and take the time to rate and review. Now my reviews may not be the best thing since slight bread but I try to let people know where they succeed or fail in their writings. Sometimes I even review poetry and I am no fan of poetry. Most poetry to me tries to rhyme and the rhyming seems forced. To read and not get a review makes me wonder. Did it suck? Was it confusing? Did I say something that you disagree with? Was it a genre you dislike? Are you jealous? Still I continue to read and review. I don't do it as much as I would like to but I am trying to do more. I keep getting stuck in BLogville, with the Tor and CC war. lol. Or I get stuck in Scrolltown with Terryjroo and the gang. It's just something to make me wonder. So I am almost done with Chapter Five of Perpetual Rage and as hard as the chapter is for me to write it is opening my eyes more to what my main character is and what drives him. Amazing how that works sometimes. I think my outline, you know the one that I did not want to write, has actually helped me move further along in the story. I have written more in the last two months than I have in the last ten years I think. THis site and the people on it have reawakened the ol writing fire. There are more idea bouncing around my head than I can get to paper. I would like to thank the people who have inspired me recently but I don't think I have enough space to do so. (For the Lady Tor) I have been spending a goodish ammount of time with the young lady in question; from real dinners to meals over the phone. I feel like I am fifteen again. It's like an affair with an older woman. lol. She has actually asked me to marry her, well she just asked if I wanted to spend Christmas with her and her family. Hahaha made you choke didn't I. I told her I would love to. (Back to our regularly scheduled program.) Hopefully the completed chapter five will be posted by Wednesday, Thursday at the latest. THen I can move on to Chapter six, which will be the first chapter not told through the eyes of the main character. Kind of nervous about that. Well I think I am done for now, and I don't think I talked about anything that has inspired a qoute. So we shall just run with one at Random; We got a warrant sworn for attempted murder for them that tried to kill the boy who's laying over there at the Doc's, trying to stay alive. Swore out another one for them that murdered the big fella you had in your cell. Only ours ain't writ by no tin star, bought and paid for, Marshal. It's writ by us, and we aim to enforce it. Boss Spearman (Robert Duval) - Open Range |
| It seems hard to believe that it was four years ago today that the World Trade Towers fell. I still remember sitting and watching it all unfold in stunned disbelief. Even now it is hard to sit her and not cry thinking about all the pain and loss that still stem from that day. Not just the loss of life and property, but the loss of innocence and trust. Hopefully we can rebuild everything that was lost that day. My qoute for the day; On September 11th 2001, New York City - the most diverse City in the world - was viciously attacked in an unprovoked act of war. More than five thousand innocent men, women, and children of every race, religion, and ethnicity are lost. Among these were people from 80 different nations. To their representatives here today, I offer my condolences to you as well on behalf of all New Yorkers who share this loss with you. This was the deadliest terrorist attack in history. It claimed more lives than Pearl Harbor or D-Day. This was not just an attack on the City of New York or on the United States of America. It was an attack on the very idea of a free, inclusive, and civil society. It was a direct assault on the founding principles of the United Nations itself. The Preamble to the U.N. Charter states that this organization exists "to reaffirm faith in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person...to practice tolerance and live together in peace as good neighbors…[and] to unite our strength to maintain international peace and security." Indeed, this vicious attack places in jeopardy the whole purpose of the United Nations. Terrorism is based on the persistent and deliberate violation of fundamental human rights. With bullets and bombs - and now with hijacked airplanes - terrorists deny the dignity of human life. Terrorism preys particularly on cultures and communities that practice openness and tolerance. Their targeting of innocent civilians mocks the efforts of those who seek to live together in peace as neighbors. It defies the very notion of being a neighbor. This massive attack was intended to break our spirit. It has not done that. It has made us stronger, more determined and more resolved. The bravery of our firefighters, our police officers, our emergency workers, and civilians we may never learn of, in saving over 25,000 lives that day - carrying out the most effective rescue operation in our history - inspires all of us. I am very honored to have with me, as their representative, the Fire Commissioner of New York City, Tom Von Essen, and the Police Commissioner of New York City, Bernard Kerik. The determination, resolve, and leadership of President George W. Bush has unified America and all decent men and women around the world. The response of many of your nations - your leaders and people - spontaneously demonstrating in the days after the attack your support for New York and America, and your understanding of what needs to be done to remove the threat of terrorism, gives us great, great hope that we will prevail. The strength of America's response, please understand, flows from the principles upon which we stand. Americans are not a single ethnic group. Americans are not of one race or one religion. Americans emerge from all your nations. We are defined as Americans by our beliefs - not by our ethnic origins, our race or our religion. Our beliefs in religious freedom, political freedom, and economic freedom - that's what makes an American. Our belief in democracy, the rule of law, and respect for human life - that's how you become an American. It is these very principles - and the opportunities these principles give to so many to create a better life for themselves and their families - that make America, and New York, a "shining city on a hill." Rudolph Giuliani - October 1, 2001 before the United Nations And now a moment of silence to those that fell. ... |
| When it rains it floods. So for reason unknown to me I keep experiencing writer's block. Especially when it concerns Perpetual Rage. At the urging of friends I created an outline for my plans for the story. I have been stuck on chapter five for sometime. I keep becoming dissatisfied with what is written. Then it is a quick tear and toss in the garbage. Today the dam broke and the words flooded my world. I wrote nine pages today, which will type out at about 4.5 pages. (I write small) I already have the next few chapters planned I just need to get this chapter five out. It has become my nemisis. I find it amaxing the reaction people are having to the catastrophe in New Orleans. SOme people send money and a few people walk through to have the faces shown in an attempt to encourage the people there. You know who has impressed me the most. Sean Penn and John Travolta. Why you ask? Sit back I will tell you. Sean Penn went in to the heart of New Orleans in a boat to rescue people. He even went into places the authorities would not go. John Travolta loaded his own personal DC whatever-he-has with food and much needed supplies and flew them into New Orleans> He landed in an airport even when he was told it was closed. His reaction was fine me. After unloading he stated that he will return with more supplies. Don't that just kick you in the gall bladder? I think I am done now. For tonight's qoute, this is what was needed in New Orleans a week ago; We're going to put as many people in front of it as it takes. Listen up, people! Let me tell you what's south of us: no more museums, no more department stores, just homes! People! If we turn and run now, they're going to be defenseless! You don't like my plan? That's good. Give me a another plan, but don't tell me we're backing out! Roark (Tommy Lee Jones) - Volcano |
| The outline for Perpetual Rage has actually been a big help. I am finally almost done with chapter five. My feet are finally back under me. I hope to have it up by the weekend, and chapter six soon after. Thanks to a recent post by PlannerDan I have recently created a Movie Review Message Board. Since I see so many movies I figured it would make sense to do so. Maybe I will see that crappy movie so you don't have to. Or maybe I will seee a really good moive that you would not normally go see. It's a message board so others can post their own reviews. If haven't done this is quite sometime because I tend to keep my opinions to myself, but here it goes. I don't want to get off on a rant here, but with all the recent troubles in our country do we really need a so-called voice of the younger generation on TV bad mouthing or President's decision's and saying that the people in New Orleans are not being helped faster because they are black. First, let me say that I am not the biggest fan of President Bush and some of his ideas I question. But now is not to time to attack the man now is the time to help those in greater need than ourselves. Secondly, I am so sick and tired of everything being blamed on race. For instance a lady was talking to me about the goings on in New Orleans and she too mentioned race. She goes on to say that there or hundred of black women missing everyday and you don't hear anything about it, but when one white woman disappears it is all over the news. I firmly corrected her. We don't hear about certain missing people because of race, we hear about certain people because of money. When you can put up a reward or are somewhat of a known communuty leader you get air time. That is money not race. Money is power. We have become a country focus on the singular not the whole and I find it said. When the Shivo case was going on in Florida Congress made a special meeting to try and pass a low to stop the plug from being pulled. A special setion on a Sunday, for the first time ever. When the same thing is needed for New Orleans they just say that a Special Setion is forthcoming. Why, because we want to make a hero of the one and not save the many. Recently there was the lady posted outside of President Bush's house in Texas (I don't remember her name at the moment) She was all over the news, the one lone voice in the wilderness questioning her son's death. As TOR pointed out, there was no mention that she had already spoken with the President. Just because she did not get the answer she wanted she gets to molest the man at his home. There was hardly any mention of the thousands of other young men and women who have died in Iraq. Why? Because it the one that matters not the whole. We need to take care of those needing help and stop putting the squeeky wheel on the petestal. The voices of the new generation, need to be just that and go out to help instead of passing the blame. We don't need another hero, we need to help those that need help. But that's just my opinion I could be wrong. My qoute for the day; If you've ever seen the look on somebody's face the day they finally get a job, I've had some experience with this, they look like they could fly. And its not about the paycheck, it's about respect, it's about looking in the mirror and knowing that you've done something valuable with your day. And if one person could start to feel this way, and then another person, and then another person, soon all these other problems may not seem so impossible. You don't really know how much you can do until you, stand up and decide to try. Dave (Kevin Kline) - Dave That's what we need respect for eachother. |
| I am not sure what I think about creating an outline for my Novel Perpetual Rage. I think it will help me control my ideas and hopefully it will stop some of the writer's block I tend to get from time to time. My only problem is whether or not I should write all the chapters I have planned? Or if I should stop at chapter eight? I am kind of worried that once Eddye gets out of the institution it will not be the story I want to tell. I don't know if that makes any sense. Well if anyone would like to take a gander at the first chapter and the synopsis and pass along their ideas it would be appreciated. "Invalid Item"  by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor TOR and CC and a few others have posted in their BLOGS about the senselessness going on in the regions devestated by the recent hurricane. For my two cents worth, I think it is unfathonable the idiocy with which people will allow themselves to act. How can you see the death and destruction that is going on there and make excuses for the lowlifes making it even more difficult for those in need to be saved. Sometimes I think there is no hope for man. My thoughts and prayers go out to those in need, and may the gates of hell await those dumb enough to stop the saviors from helping. Tonight's qoute; "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!" We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Thomas Whitmore (Bill Pullman) - Independence Day It should be that way, but we know it won't be. |
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I took a look and it seems interesting.