A discussion campfire about the different aspects of life and how they affect us.
Life is full of little hidden passage ways, places that you haven't considered going before where maybe you may not expect things to be the way they are. I surely didn't expect myself to wind up seriously depressed and on a writing site where everything is so new and different. Trying to fit in and hoping that people wont reject me, like they have for most of my life.|
Number 1. I'm gay.
Number 2. I'm pagan.
I was always told that I should never mention to people that I went to a mental institution as a teenager because I had a nervous break down after I moved back from my dad's place to my mothers place. My father had expectations on me that I could not uphold and when he found that he used to get angry and hit me. My mother didn't do any of that and for some reason or other I just couldn't understand why. So in the long run I ended up having a complete and utter nevous break down. Most people understand if I explain it to them like that.
Can I ask you in all honesty...what is so great about normal people? Those that have never had anything really terrible happen, those that can keep their mind set straight on queue and seem to be able to understand everything that everyone is saying all the time. What's so great about them? I can tell you the most interesting conversations I have ever had have all been with people where there was something wrong with them! Whether it be bipolar, depression, multiple personality disorder, schitzophrenia, physical disability or just people with a different outlook on life than everyone else.
A long time ago I gave up trying to fit in with the more popular kids. Why? Because of that social circle being so bloody boring that I would rather stab myself in the eye with a fork than sit there and listen and watch. The popular girls with all of their particular ways.
I remember when I was in high school and went to a new school. The teacher put me with the popular girls so that I could have a chance to fit in right away. I found it so boring with them. Why? Because these are the topics that they spoke about.
- Movies (which actor is hot) ((MORE BOYS))
- Clothes (and shopping for more clothes and other accessories to impress the boys)
I really found that INCREDIBLY BORING. So in the end I just walked away from them and started hanging out with the girls at the back of the school that were smoking. Even though I didn't smoke I found their conversations a lot more interesting.
- relationship problems
- family situations
- problems with suffering from depression
- mood elevation techniques that don't work (drugs, alcohol, medicines prescribed from the doctor that don't work)
- problems at home
-problems with school and homework
- religion, new age, christian and others
- politics, who's an idiot and why
Notice how all of a sudden the topics have changed from being Boys, Boys and more Boys to being a lot more interesting and speaking about other topics. I have always found that the outsider has always been the most interesting person to talk to. The person who for whatever reason simply couldn't fit in no matter how hard she/he tries. There is just too much difference between them. I would MUCH rather hang out with an outsider any day than hang out with the popular girls.
That is why I am proud to be an outsider!
|I wouldn’t say im proud to be an outsider as such. but life is rarely as simple as you think its full of twists and those 101 little complications that make a simple plan into a complicated one i like to look at life the way Forrest Gump tells it "life’s like a box of chocolates :) you never know what your gonna quite get and each chocolate is a relatively new sensation just like each experience you encounter in life. some make you smile, some make you frown, and some make you just plain sick. However, the most important thing to remember is that no matter what you get, to fully finish that box you have to experience EVERYTHING it gives you. " well not all of it is Gump’s, some of tats made up, but you get the idea. |
One thing that made me something of an 'outsider' is my interests mostly, im a martial arts enthusiast, an anime/ manga fanatic and a avid fantasy reader and computer game player to name a few, also ive found that allot of things most people my age talk about ;like their girlfriends and social calendar. the cars they drive etc. just bore me, things like the trips there planning, well that doesn’t so much not interest me, more i don’t have much of a part in the conversation.
But yeah, i admittedly do like chatting to similar crowds. Those that talk about more serious topics like Christianity and religion. Politics. Music ill listen to people talk about because music is relatively interesting but don’t really expect me to talk all that much in return.
so yeah, an outsider -shrugs- meh i suppose ill be one. just as long as i get a decent conversation out of it.