Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

Yeah I can see what you're saying. Even though I haven't been through the same sort of horrible experience that you, or some other people on here were, I still can't see myself succeeding in any kind of relationships. I do function okay on a normal basis with people, I can talk about whatever, something that isn't engaging and something that doesn't involve me talking about myself, my life, my needs, their needs, their life, problems, my problems, etc.. As soon as I feel there's more than what it looks like, I just cut it off, sometimes in an asshole-ish way. I was a little bit destructive in past but not to the others, to myself. I thought if I keep putting myself out there enough, I'd get over things but it didn't work. I only got more hurt. Well, I can't say this situation now is ideal one but at least I don't feel things I'd feel when I'm around people so that is like a compromise to me . I deal with myself better than what I'd deal myself with other people around. Of course, I wish one day to not be like this and I hope for the better solution. Until then, I'll keep myself safe in the only way I know now.