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by chaos Author IconMail Icon
Rated: XGC · Interactive · Fanfiction · #1455029

Comic characters eat, grow, shrink or unbirth each other in this crazy new interactive.

This choice: She's Lois Lane from the future  •  Go Back...
Chapter #8

Lois Lane, Bitchiest Reporter Ever!

    by: SonicV Author IconMail Icon
“Where on Earth am I?...Or rather, when on Earth am I?” the woman asked aloud. Lana was very confused by her question, but nevertheless, decided to try her best and answer her, “You’re in my room, whoever you are.” However, just as the woman noticed the redheaded elephant in the room, the portal behind her suddenly blipped out of sight, causing her to gasp, “Oh no! Professor Potter’s malfunctioning Time Machine made that portal, and it was my only ticket out of here! Now what do I do?!”

“WHO are you?” Lana asked, finding it hard to feel for this strange and slutty looking woman who just up and appeared out of nowhere. Living in the same town as Superboy, she had seen many strange sights in her young life, but none had ever been this skimpy. The woman sighed, and decided to put her distress on hold to get that fatty to pipe down long enough so she could think. Turning to face her, she flashed a cocky grin as she began her trademark gushing about herself, “I’m Lois Lane, top ranking reporter for the Daily Planet, and hands down the best damn reporter ever. I am the one who covers Superman all the time after all.”

“Super…MAN? Wait, that’s not right, he’s SuperBOY.” Lana clarified, and that one statement finally answered Lois’ question, “Superboy?...Ah, of course! That handsome hunk did premiere back when he was younger. Wait, then that means this is Smallville…and YOUR Lana Lang!” Lois suddenly pointed at the redhead before her, and was unable to stop grinning as that realization made what she was seeing before her become a love letter to her massive ego. Everything about the younger version of her rival was massive, and said rival was already feeling angered before Lois could even say anything, as just one word got under her skin, “Did you say handsome?”

“That’s right, honey. In the time I come from, you still follow Superman around like a sick puppy, while I get to have everything you never will. Oh the dates we’ve been on, the kisses we have shared, now if he would just fall for my next marriage scheme already, everything would finally be perfect. I just need to get out of this plane old town and timeline first.” Lois stated. As she began tapping her finger to her chin, she soon learned that Lana had some pretty choice words for her, “Dates?! Kissing?!! SCHEMES?!!!” Lana arose from her seat, and the loud creak of the strained sofa made Lois cringe in disgust, but that did nothing to stop Lana from approaching. In less than five minutes, she had grown to hate this woman; even if they weren’t rivals in the future for the Man Of Steel’s affections like she claimed, she would still revile her for evidently trying to TRICK him into being together with her forever. Lana had pulled a few schemes before, but only to try and see with her own eyes that Clark Kent and Superboy were the same person. She would never stoop to such a low, and she decided that it was time to give that hussy a piece of her mind.

Lana jabbed her pudgy finger at Lois, and let it all out, “Listen up, skank! I don’t care if you are from the future or that you dress like a hooker, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let someone like you manipulate someone as sweet as Superboy or Clark Kent! He is MINE, do you understand?!” Lana’s glare could melt down a wall just as well as Superboy’s heat vision at that point, but unfortunately, all she accomplished was making Lois laugh. The brunette suddenly burst into a belly laugh that could put even Lana’s wide paunch to shame, a laugh so strong that she completely forgot that part where Lana said that Superboy and Clark were the same guy, and as Lois held her sides to keep them from splitting, she managed to calm herself enough to switch from laughing to scoffing, “YOU?! Give me a fucking break. Listen, tubbo, you have no chance with Superboy, got it? You never had one to begin with, but now, look at you! I’m surprised he didn’t toss you into the ocean with all the other whales! I’m beautiful, I’m brilliant, AND I’m skinny. I dress like this because I want to, not because nothing will fit me anymore! God, I can’t wait to get back and remind Superman about when you were like this! He’ll be so disgusted remembering your cottage cheese thighs that he’ll fall for me in no time!”

Lois couldn’t help but laugh again; with the way she was feeling, that past date had quickly become the best day of her life. However, while she had been positive that the lardy lass was going to go back to bawling and eating, Lana had not been defeated by her hurtful words. Lana’s glare had come back full force, and her teeth clenched so tightly as her nostrils flared. The knowledge from the future bitch had brought a fire to rage inside of her belly, and an ominous rumbling soon joined it. That sound caused Lois to halt her cackling, but she did far too late, as Lana reached up and grabbed her by the back of the head.

She didn’t question what she was going, and once followed what her body desired, except this time her heart and mind were on board as well. Her jaw suddenly opened wide like a snake, and Lois’ face was then lunged down into the gaping maw, sending her lovely features smacking right onto Lana’s wet tongue. As she screamed, Lana let out a grunt as her anger mixed with the first bit of delight she had felt all day. For being such an awful woman, Lois Lane tasted great!
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You have the following choices:

*Pen*
1. Superboy comes to save the day

2. Bye, Lois!

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