"Well, the moment you were to step into that entrance, you'd have been stopped cold by a wall. Trying to turn, the walls around you would close, and the room would fill with gas. You'd be knocked out, and when you awoke, you'd be strapped to a large banquet chair. A chute in front of your face would pour a mixture of the most fattening potions ever made into your mouth. You'd gain about 400 pounds in minutes flat. Finally, you'd be dumped back at the entrance with nothing to your name but a quarter ton of blubber."
"...what?"
"Luckily for the both of us, this temple's qualities had been made clear to me by a few... let's just say these women had a lot more to love. Making my way through here, I was stopped by a few different people- a wolf who looked as if she'd been made to eat an entire pig, a cowgirl who appeared to have about 7 glandular problems, and an elf female who had about 17 love handles on each hip. Each warned me of this temple's qualities. It's the prize possession of one called the Lipomancer, who enjoys making a game out of his dungeons. The traps in here aren't deadly in most cases; they're weighty, as in weight-gainy. He likes to fatten people up. If you're going in there, I'm helping you out. While those women who assisted me had... VERY deserving qualities when I... "consensually repaid" them, I couldn't stand to see a beautiful wench like yourself needing to go up about two dozen sizes. I'd like to try my luck as well; as you could see, I wore my loosest garb."
"Thanks for your chivalry, Mr. Templa, you crazy horndog. Two is better than one, they say, so let's get moving."
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