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 Review #3867037 |
 | The Choices We Make  [13+] Down in the darkness, decisions must be made.  |
| (4.5)| Greetings! A review from "Invalid Item" .The following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item. If you disagree with any of the suggestions below, feel free to ignore them. I am not a perfect writer myself but "Practise makes a man perfect" neither I want to make you depress or angry, so Write On! FORMAT: At a glance, I know right away if it is appealing on the page and is easy to read and understand. If it is in one huge paragraph, it becomes too difficult to read. Make use of white space between paragraphs and character dialogue. Here this looked nice and clean and appealing, convincing the reader to go ahead and read the story. Good! SETTING: This important. A nice balance of imagery and well written word makes me feel as if I am there, but overdone it ends up being repetitive and redundant. The setting here is exploring cave, a tough situation however the reader would like to know why one of them would have to be left and one to the saved, were they stuck somewhere or what? LENGTH: If the piece is overly long, then I am more reluctant to read it, but if it's intriguing, I still might. The length of the short story was good and fine by me because I usually review poems. GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: While punctuation errors can make a piece impossible to read, often I can pass over them, depending on what it is, and noting where and what so the writer can go back and revise them. It is often something easily fixed. However, I could not find anything in this story. DIALOGUE: I love dialogue. I take note if it has any or if it has the character's thoughts. The dialogue is not too much and neither too less that the reader is distracted and not interested to keep reading the poem. Good! POINT OF VIEW: I must know who's point of view we are in. If there is a rough transition between character's points of view, then it would be difficult for the reader to read and understand the poem properly. Here in your story, it was good. FLOW: The story must not only be told in a logical order, but must have a feel to it. This story has a good flow, the reader does not get stuck either slowly or abruptly and no need of reading the story once again. It is clear! MY FAVORITE PART AND OVERALL:If I would have been given this prompt, I think I would have never written a good piece like this one. I like to write in free style with at least 1k word limit and you have done a pretty amazing job here!  THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR WORK! Write On! Take care and Have a great day! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Check out these WONDERFUL activity! "Invalid Item" "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" by Choconut  "~ The Poet's Place Cafe~" "Invalid Item" "Invalid Item" "Invalid Item"
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You responded to this review 06/15/2013 @ 12:40pm EDT