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Review #4266048
Viewing a review of:
 
The Little Butterfly Open in new Window. [E]
Children see the world in a great way. I hope I will always have the ability to be five.
by Jay O'Toole Author Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A pleasant hour!!Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon *Smile*

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

*BurstP**ConfettiG* CONGRATULATIONS for being a Registered Author here in Writing Dot Com.*BurstP**ConfettiG*

Meet your Garden Fairy friendSamberine Everose Author IconMail Icon, and I'm here to give you a review as my GIFT to you for being here in this wonder full and color full WRITING World of WDC. I hope you will enjoy sharing your writings as well as finding your way up here. *Smile*
*ExclaimB* Please remember that I'm not a professional or an expert in reviewing, anything I say here is just only my humble opinion and thought as a reader who just like to read and appreciate the uniqueness of others thru their works. You can chew and just ignore it, if doesn't fit to your taste.

*Thought*MY THOUGHT AND IMPRESSION

Hey teacher, I have the mood navigating here in your portfolio, and this one enticed again my attention to see what's behind on it. Maybe I was charmed on the word butterfly you've used here as the title. Butterfly always creates a good imagery, they are one of the cutest little thing who have colorful wings.
And the the scribbled body gives a good and light tone, you successfully did it in adjusting your tone into a little child thought.
The created rhyme and rhythm are naturally flow within the words and not in forced,
specially the created emotion. Great Poem and very challenging in a child point of view.

*Question* *Idea* MY DOUBT AND SUGGESTION :
I didn't find words that can distract the flow, my only doubt is the last line on this stanza.

It's colors are so pretty, bright,
it's tongue so very round,
It floats for it is very light,
I sit upon the ground.

It makes me confuse because it gives another thought and not related on the third line,
because the first to third line is about describing the image of the butterfly but then when I reach the last line it change the imagery or it describe already an action.

MY FINAL THOUGHT :
Thank you for sharing this good piece of yours, and the happiness and enjoyment I feel while looking and reading it.
I am looking forward to read more of your works again.

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING and REVIEWING. *Smile*
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NAG Showcase Captain-October 2016
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Welcome to my Garden of Creativity  Open in new Window. (E)
Welcome Notes to Guest-Samberine's Bulletin Page
#1981228 by Samberine Everose Author IconMail Icon

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The Teddy Bear Gift Basket-CLOSED Open in new Window. (E)
will be OPEN on September
#2009523 by Samberine Everose Author IconMail Icon

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The WDC Celebrity Authors Autograph Open in new Window. (E)
Positive WDC Community Involvement with Enthusiasm.
#2061810 by Samberine Everose Author IconMail Icon





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