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Review #4455971
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Life lessons Open in new Window. [E]
This essay may lead you into a short trip of my experience with books and writing.
by LauraMustetiu Author Icon
Review of Life lessons  Open in new Window.
Review by Dave Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Click to go to the WDC Power Reviewers
and the folks "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.


Greetings, Laura!

Welcome to this wondrous writing community, and to "The Poet's Place " Open in new Window. group, in particular. The following observations are offered in grateful response to your Review of "Unlucky" Open in New Window, but they are nothing more than one person's opinions, so take them or leave them for whatever you think they may be worth.

TITLE:

Like the names of your children, a title gives the poem a specific identity. The title of this essay does that and also captures the underlying essence of the presentation as it sets the tone and prepares the reader for what is to come by offering to share a few intimate insights on your creative development with the prospective reader.

ORGANIZATION:

The first two paragraphs establish the environment in which the seeds of creativity were planted, and the relating of phases in chronological order is easy for the reader to follow.

CONTENT:

Your struggle to stay connected in spite of the language barriers as you moved from place to place reads like the plot of a five-star novel. At times, the listing of one book after another, as in the fifth paragraph, seems a little tedious, until you wave your magic wand and make a personal connection with "I chased piglets simulating sword fights."

TONE/STYLE:

The conversational approach keeps the reader engaged throughout. However, the tentative tone of the word "may" in your first sentence risks losing your audience before they ever make a connection. Remember that, as the author, your Creative License gives you the power to make definitive statements without reservation: "This personal essay will lead you..."

Repetition can be a powerful tool when applied for specific effect, but the repetition of "adventure/adventurous" three times in the third paragraph appears rather random.

PICKY COPY EDIT ITEMS:

1. In the fifth paragraph, "The grandiose authors thought (should be "taught") me..."

2. In the last paragraph, "...to the place where I was born, touching with its wrings (should be "wings" or possibly "rings") my father's library..."

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This was an interesting journey from the time you "started to read books at an early age" to becoming a published author yourself. Congratulations on that achievement, and thank you for sharing!

Here's wishing you fair winds as you continue to navigate this universe known as Writing.Com.

Let the creativity flow from your soul! *Cool*
Dave
"The Poet's Place " Open in new Window.
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 12/10/2018 @ 9:06pm EST
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