Hi Penelope, hope you're enjoying your way around WDC so far! Your story is heartbreaking, and you did a good job building suspense. I began to suspect when Linda came 'round something was going on, it certainly transitioned into a sad ending. (I have twins myself, so anything involving twins always stabs me in the feels.)

I like your descriptions of the day's activities, I was there with her the whole day. I thought you did a great job on the car accident too, nightmarish.

So here's the stuff I might offer up to tweak a bit:
(DISCLAIMER! The suggestions here are mine alone, so take the ones that are helpful to you, and chuck any that aren't in the bin. Also, feel free to ask questions or give general input on my input... )

Your second person perspective works great it's just the use of simple present tense feels a little awkward to me. (example: "I wake up this morning to a glistening white blanket covering everything within sight." vs "I woke up this morning... you get the idea.) If you were narrating the piece as if she were talking to a psychiatrist or something like that it could work as is, but I think you'd have to make that clear in there somewhere.

I would try to break up your narrative by spacing your paragraphs for the sake of transition, especially with dialogue woven throughout.

(example):

I go back to the kitchen for the drinks. Joe and I have wine glasses, and the twins have glasses of chocolate milk.

As I am setting the last glass of chocolate milk down, Joe comes in the door. His eyes fall on the table and he stumbles backwards while his face turns white.

“Ruby!” he yells, tears streaming down his face. “No wonder Linda called me and asked me to come home early. I thought we were passed this! The twins are gone! They died in that car accident 3 months ago! You were doing so well, I thought I could go back to work!”

He turns from me, hiding his face. He grabs the phone, and walks off while muttering to himself.

Last thing, and this is something I could be missing the point of entirely, but the title is "Rose's Day" and at the end of the story when her husband gets home he calls her Ruby? Like I said though, it could be related to the displaced reality of the story itself and I'm missing something...

In all, I like your story! Definitely impactful emotionally, and the imagery was effective in assisting the conveyance of the emotion. Thanks for sharing, keep on writin'!!

-TPB

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .