Neat neat neat neat!!! I love this, it's like Gremlins but with no stupid animatronics!

The only thing I can think that would make this better (and I know it's flash fiction, but there are always words to trim somewhere) is if there could be just a tiny bit more emotion from Pete about what the heck it is he's actually getting into when he starts talking to this guy. Fear? Puzzlement? Amuzement? All three?

It wouldn't hurt to turn that first sentence into a barbed fishhook. "A man came up to Pete and opened his coat wide" could translate to something like "Pete cringed when the man approached him and opened his coat"

If you find any of these ideas useful, huzzah! If not, feel free to chuck them in the bin. It's your story, I'm just readin' it .

Thanks for the very cool read, keep on writing!

-TPB

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .