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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4500410
Review #4500410
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Review by Dave
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Rated: | (3.5)
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Greetings, Loretta!

Welcome to this wondrous writing community. I saw your goals posted on the "Weekly Goals forum and wanted to offer a few observations in the interest of friendly hospitality and constructive support.

You have gotten off to a great start by posting your first item and finding your way around to some of the many activities available on this vast site.

TITLE:

The dramatic reference set forth in your title is certainly an eye catcher, sure to lure unsuspecting browsers into the web of your literary world. The underlying description caught my attention because I, too, suffer from this affliction.

CONTENT:

The specific details capture the symptoms and effects of this disease vividly, except for one thing: The symptoms presented seem to indicate basal cell carcinoma, which is the mildest form of skin cancer and rarely fatal, unless left untreated for long periods of time ( https://www.webmd.com/melanoma-skin-cancer/basal-cell-carcinoma#1 ).

There also seems to be a glitch about your narrator's relationship with doctors in your narrative. In spite of your "thing against doctors" where you will "avoid them almost to the death," in the second paragraph, one of those same doctors did diagnose you in the sixth paragraph.

ORGANIZATION:

The narrative proceeds smoothly from introduction to the first symptoms through the growth and emotional impact to the unnecessary final surrender.

CONCLUSION:

As one who has dealt with this issue for over fifty years, I can assure you that it is not the end of the world. Yes, we all must die sooner or later, but it does not have to be from basal cell carcinoma skin cancer and there is plenty of time for you to do something worthwhile with your life. Write on!

Let the creativity flow from your soul! *Cool*
Dave
"The Poet's Place

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