A little birdie known as Sum1 whispered in my ear and told me you have just completed your third year in this wondrous writing community. The following observations are offered in the spirit of friendly camaraderie and constructive support. However, they are nothing more than one man's opinions, so take them or leave them for whatever you think they may be worth.
The title of this poem appeals to the prospective reader's sense of compassion with its reference to a child's painful situation.
FORM & STRUCTURE:
In traditional poetry, the fixed shape of the meter, rhyme, and stanza creates an emotional distance which facilitates universal acceptance. The poet writing free verse must compensate for the lack of traditional structure by designing the title, line, stanza, and rhythm to provide the greatest impact in an efficient manner. Otherwise, the poem will be nothing more than prose in disguise. Careful design of the word selection and arrangement, the length and density of each line, and the breakdown of stanzas must provide a natural rhythm. That is, through much toil in search of precise language, experimentation with forming lines and stanzas, and extensive revision, the poet carefully crafts a work that appears natural, authentic, and convincing to the reader.
Poetry weaves an intricate web of aesthetic effects with threads of lyrical language, vibrant imagery and organizational form. As poets, we select or design a pattern for any particular composition based on the contributions the specific characteristics of that form will make toward enhancing the shades and nuances of meaning.
The pattern of quatrains (four-line stanzas) provides a solid framework upon which to drape the word pictures you are painting. The stanza breaks give your reader a chance to absorb each impression more completely before moving along to the next.
The consistency of the stanza structure tends to promote a tone of orderly reflection, whereas the irregular line structure, ranging from six to eight syllables with no particular pattern, projects a sense of anxious agitation, creating tension between those two conflicting effects to complement the situation your natator is presenting perfectly.
Vivid animation captured through strong, active verbs and specific concrete nouns, such as that "wall," pours life into abstract concepts, such as "frustration" of the child and impotence of the parent.
Art happens in two places: in writers' minds as they create it, and in readers' minds as they perceive it. Poets explore possibilities through a lens colored by past experience and shares them with an unseen audience. They call upon a unique reservoir of such enlightenment, conceptual skill and innovative research to project some spiritual sensation upon the screen of the audience's imagination--be it joy, melancholy, shock, or any of a thousand others.
In this case, you and your narrator have drawn your audience into your world and slapped them upside the head with the reality that is autism. Thank you for sharing!
If you are interested in publication, you should check out The Sun
magazine ( https://www.thesunmagazine.org/submit
), which is always on the lookout for pieces reflecting raw human experience.
Here's wishing you fair winds as you continue to navigate this universe known as Writing.Com.
Let the creativity flow from your soul!
"The Poet's Place "
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