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Review #4731614
Viewing a review of:
 Bathtub Dilemma Open in new Window. [E]
Amidst the heaviness of life, this lighthearted poem is simply meant to evoke a smile.
by MJones Transforming … Again Author Icon
Review of Bathtub Dilemma  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I noticed your item on the Read a Newbie sidebar and thought it looked like a simple evening read.

I always enjoy a good piece of lighthearted kid-friendly poetry, and this was right on the mark. It's something I would probably have memorized just for fun when I was a kid myself.

I would make just one small suggestion, to combine the four short lines into couplets instead. I believe that would improve the flow somewhat. But generally speaking I never have much to criticize about poetry; I consider it a flexible and highly subjective art form.

You might be able to submit this to Lornda ~ Cat Sitting ~ Author Icon and her Humorous Poetry Contest. I'm not sure if she accepts items previously written. But this is definitely funny enough.

I like that it's also rather realistic; I can imagine something like that actually happening easily enough! It's written with a consistent meter and a happy ending, and I quite enjoyed it.

Another suggestion would be to add two more genres so that it's easier to find and so it has more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award. I would suggest "Comedy" and "Experience" loosely speaking.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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