%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4742006 |
 | Everywhere  [E] Magic abounds  |
| (4.0)| Hallo Legerdemain ! I will be reviewing your work "Everywhere" on behalf of "House Targaryen Points" for "Game of Thrones"  Content: From high up in the trees, it watches her often; admiring every single thing from the way the light shines in her hair to the way the droplets of water fall off her skin after a dip in the lake. Though she comes with her sisters, it's most enamoured with her and would do anything to get closer. Unfortunately, it’s large size and appearance is a magnet for those who would dare to shoot arrows at him. However, there's a little trick up its sleeve; and that trick makes it possible to see the one it loves up close and personal. Pluses:I see this was written for the 48-hour media prompt challenge where the song 'Everywhere' by Fleetwood Mac was to be the inspiration. I love that song! And I can see how it caused you to write this particular tale. To be honest, I was fully expecting our poor lovesick dragon to change into a human and appear to her, but this is even more bittersweet. I'm also sure it wasn't meant to be humorous, but when she presents it with the piece of bread and stares at it expectantly - I mean it does just appear to be a lizard to her - its conflicting thoughts about eating it is quite funny. Its’ analysis of the taste caused a chuckle as well. Suggestions:Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it's ultimately up to you to choose what works best. Now, I know these challenges have word limits and all that, but to be honest, the ending felt a bit abrupt. There are so many questions left hanging in the air that I'm greedy to want this expanded a bit. You mention the girl being locked away from the others, and I immediately wondered if this was connected to Rapunzel, but that wouldn't make sense, would it? Either way, why is this girl treated so differently, yet able to go swimming with the others? Is there something wrong with her? And if so, what is it? Then there's the dragon. It's worried about being seen and being attacked, yet you mention it just flies away after it's met her. I would think the guards would be horrified if they saw something that huge anywhere in the vicinity of the castle. Also, what happens next in their relationship? Does it just continue coming back or is it going to be content watching from afar? Just a couple of things to consider if you do choose to continue or expand on this.    Thanks for the lovely short story. As you could tell from my suggestions, I want more!  Keep on writing! Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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