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Review #4745784
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Review by Nosferette Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Hello H❀pe Author Icon

First impression:

The thumbnail picture is nicely chosen to depict something smokey. The title and intro line hint at an adventure of two young people and something mystical that they will discover.

What works:

The fun that the two kids discover in the cave is palpable. I felt that I was right there with them. It would be neat to have a wall to touch that magics anything wished for right into place.

What needs work:

I think what happened is that the cave turned Tiki and Kai into smoke. At least that is what they now appear as to the outside world. This was very hard to discern though. I wonder if I am wrong. This part of the story could use some clarification as only that last bit at the very bottom seems to confirm that.

Final thoughts:

The story was nicely mystical and mysterious. A couple of years ago, I took a mythology class and we read and discussed several Native American tales. This story reminds me of those. It has the same caliber of showing the power of nature at work. I would have liked to get more of an explanation. Like when the villagers were sitting at the campfire, they should have told that legend to the young ones as they warned them from going into a geyser cave or hot springs cave. Something that would be a more typical explanation of natural events in the Native traditions.

Annette
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