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Review #4746668
Viewing a review of:
Everywhere Open in new Window. [E]
Magic abounds
by Legerdemain Author Icon
Review of Everywhere  Open in new Window.
Review by Lornda Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Hello, Legerdemain Author Icon


*Sun* I liked your story and enjoyed reading it! It put me right into a whimsical scene with a dragon and a girl. I thought the opening paragraph set the scene perfectly and grabbed my attention to keep reading. I had to laugh at the last line of the first paragraph. Always nice to add humor to any writing. I also liked the magical elements, which added to the fantasy aspect. For the limited word count, I think it told the whole story! *Stary*

*Sun* Good job on keeping this from the prospective of the dragon. I liked the phrasing a long the way to show the scene, like this line: ...shake her head like a wild creature and droplets would fly, catching the sun like crystals. Well done! At first, I wasn't sure if there would be dialog, but I was happy to see that they talked. It moved the story a long at a good pace.

*Sun* A couple of things I noticed for your consideration. I do understand the word count issue, but it would be great to expand on it. There were spots that would've benefited from more descriptions. I also thought the ending was quick, but again, I get why. Now that the contest is over, you can always start a novel now with the short story as a basis. Lol! I think it would be a beautiful fantasy story. *Wink*

*Swords* Lornda


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