\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4827809
Review #4827809
Viewing a review of:
 Finally  Open in new Window. [E]
A couple wedding just barely doesn’t go as planned
by Marigold Author Icon
Review of Finally  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Marigold, and welcome to writing.com!

I found this on the Read a Newbie sidebar and thought it looked like an interesting read. Around here, one never knows what kind of dark twists lurk beneath seemingly charming stories, but yours is comfortably cozy throughout. The storyline has lots of fun descriptions, warmth and prettiness that will delight any soft soul.

I would recommend tightening up the prose a little, because the flow was rather tedious. I can see you took a lot of time with this and poured lots of details into it, but it feels like just a tiny bit too plodding. I found myself skimming over, looking for the unexpected disaster. What I might suggest, is to try working within a tight word limit. I popped the story into a word counter and it came out over 3200 words. In order to submit to one of the Official WdC Contests, at the top of "Writing Contests @ Writing.Com" Open in new Window., your story needs to be under 2k words. If you're forced to keep within a limit, you'll look at your writing style in a whole new light, asking yourself what exactly needs to be included to give the readers what they need to know to move the story forward.

You can start with a summarization: big wedding, excited families, rainstorm, happily ever after. That's all. How much meat do you want to add to those bones?

Instead of describing every single detail, you can give just enough details to paint the picture. Instead of naming every single person in the family, focus on three or four or five and use their interactions and dialogues to fill us in on the hustle and bustle.

Also, I would sincerely recommend you use a larger font size. Simply add {size:4}{font:Verdana} at the beginning of your text block, and that will adjust it, using our proprietary markup language.

This is overall a super cute story, with loveable characters, a happy ending, and the inevitable unexpected weather outburst. I love learning more about how weddings work, because I've never attended one. The beauty and excitement and dreams and love is palpable here. You just need to streamline it a bit so our eyes don't glaze over *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/31/2025 @ 8:15pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4827809