Huh, I'm not sure what to make of this. I understand it is written as a diary entry and I realize they can be emotional and often become rants. Is the writer becoming a convert to someone, something? Are "those wonderful eyes" using hypnosis? If so, this is indeed scary how quickly and easily it happens. It reads as similar to an addiction. The craving becomes all important. By the way are January and February misspelled with intent? Is the wary meant to foreshadow this change in the writer? "If you ready this." Is that supposed to be 'read this'?