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 Review #4839890 |
 | The Pirate and the Princess  [18+] DREAMWEAVER: Pirate Flint captures Princess Anne and wrestles with a guilty conscience.  |
| (3.5)| Greetings, sir  I found this by poking around in your portfolio, looking to make sure I'd spelled your username correctly (or looking perhaps for a first name…) First off, I was quite surprised to discover you used to work with Jack Tyler at his DreamWeaver forum. I'm pals with him these days, and he and you don't seem to have much in common beyond an elemental understanding of good vs evil. This was an unexpected or even slightly incongruous combination. Overall, when I was done with this story, I felt like I needed to take a bath  The words “decidedly grubby” come to mind to describe it. None of the characters have any redeeming qualities whatsoever, and honestly, how many times did you have to use the word “whore?” I suppose it's a stark reminder of why pirates shouldn't be romanticized, but I never had that problem, having read Treasure Island as a kid and learnt as much as I wanted to know about pirates, lawlessness and human nature.I was dismayed to see the princess become a willing whoremonger on the pirates’ island; did she really expect anything better from them when it came time to sell her out? The filthy pirate captain received a fitting end, incapable of appreciating or reciprocating mercy if there was any, deserving only to be consigned forever to the nightmare he'd spent his life building. But the princess hardly deserves her throne; it might as well be the pot calling the kettle black, as she aided and abetted him in his debauched ways. I tried to think of the story of Joseph in the Bible, and how he became the ruler of the pagan country that had once held him slave, and the whole “meet your enemies and say God meant it for good,” but this doesn't track. Nothing good came of the situation at all, except that the murdering Flint was finally executed. I saw your "Characters: Overview" on the sidebar and read that as well, noting it was crafted at a later date and revised more recently than this story, indicative of your progression in awareness of worldview and psychology. (Indeed, in the hours since I first read this, I see you changed the subtitle to emphasize the DreamWeaver project.)For improvement, I'd suggest trying to give us at least one character we can actually root for, because by the time I was done I was thoroughly disgusted with them all. Maybe indicate that the princess had some slight restraining influence on the pirates? Therefore making a stronger point that selling her out was a treachery that undercut them and set them on their downfall? If the main character is an antihero, there should be even the tiniest foil or glimpse of potential good, otherwise we're just wallowing in bloody salacious muck. I did learn a term, “ship of the line,” and found your descriptions and settings to be vivid and visual without being overly visceral or extremely obscene. However, the vocabulary seemed rather limited, creating a desultory and repetitive feel. I'm not sure why I'm reviewing this, except as a sort of closure or vent, because it's the sort of thing that will bother me for a couple days. Please don't think I'm judging you for writing it; if anything, I'm a bit annoyed with myself for reading it, because I'm not generally interested in pirate culture. It is interesting to find your old connection to the forum. Jack is still present here and doing well. A couple of your items have been featured in this week's newsletters  I've already read the one you wrote in March, and I noticed the other is rated E so I'll probably drop by it. Congrats! (Speaking of ratings... Are you sure this is only 13+?)Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing     My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 10/15/2025 @ 2:40pm EDT