This week: I Don't Want to Play AnymoreEdited by: Thankful Sonali WDC POWER!
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That's the starting point. It means neither party has anything, but there's romance in the air.
Let the games begin.
I was scrolling down the Facebook newsfeed, when a clip from The Big Bang Theory brought me to a halt. It was one in which Penny, Bernadette and Amy are playing Truth or Dare, and Penny is asked why she continues to hang out with Leonard when she has split up with him romantically. Her response is that 'he's a great guy'.
The other two then go on to probe, and Penny reveals that the break up happened because Leonard got too serious and Penny wasn't ready. Amy asks what happens when Penny is ready and Leonard is no longer available because some other woman realised that he's 'a great guy'.
Penny walks out, saying "You know what? I don't want to play any more."
There is a pause, and Amy says, "I don't know how this is scored, but I think we may have won."
This happens to have been a game between friends, on the theme of romance -- but it triggered a line of thought in me.
What if we look at romance itself as a game? Many people have already thought of it that way, and written it, too, but maybe this'll give some new perspectives.
Take this Leonard-Penny situation. She decided she didn't want to play any more -- not just the truth-dare game, but the relationship with Leonard. It was going too fast for her. However, she didn't want to let go completely either, and she certainly didn't want to contemplate someone else playing in her stead.
Love All The opening score in a tennis match is Love-All. Nobody has any points yet, but everyone is in love! Nice, huh? But what happens when the games begin and the scores start to mount?
So someone asks someone else out. Is that, like a 'serve', to start the game? And then, when the person accepts, who has scored? Anyway, so it goes, through the early days of the relationship, ups and downs, warm moments, 'hot' moments and cool moments, each situation ending in a win-win, a win-lose or a lose-lose.
Sometimes, the relationship does not progress much. Sometimes, it becomes a commitment. And then, the game is considered to be 'forever', or at least, till death do us part.
And this is when it gets tough.
When both partners have to decide to keep going, keep playing, not give up, whatever the circumstances.
Doesn't always work.
There comes a point at which one or both say, "I don't want to play any more." Sometimes, it comes early. Within a year or two. Hopefully, before too many other people are affected.
Sometimes, it doesn't. Either things go well for a while, or people hold on for various reasons, and it takes time for the quit to occur.
I know a couple who had been together more than sixteen years, married for more than ten, with four kids ... and now they're not together any more. I don't know much more about what happened or what the situation is now, but it came as a shock to me when I heard they're splitting.
There are some famous break-ups, too, that came as a shock. What about Roald Dahl and Patricia Neal? After all they went through together, one would think nothing would separate them, but something did ... from what the headlines scream out, it was Dahl who strayed. What does this mean -- who decided they didn't want to play any more? He, when he strayed, or she, when she thought she couldn't take it? What was the tipping point - and who reached it?
Take Prince Charles and Lady Diana. Apparently, Diana (still a teenager) found out about Camilla on the eve of her wedding to Charles, but had to keep playing the game because it was too complicated to get out of. The rest is history. What if she had said, right then, "I don't want to play any more"?
So many scenarios -- people who kept playing the game through all the odds, people who quit. Win-win, win-lose, lose-lose situations along the way. Maybe it would help a romance writer plot a tale, to think of romance as a game!
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Thank you for the responses to: "Being Single on St. Valentine's Day"
Elisa the Snowman Stik
I dunno. I'm married but have very cynical feelings about Crappy valentine's day. I openly mock it along with my husband. It's a celebration of a very narrow type of love, and the whole notion of finding "the one" embodies that narrow scope. After all, I may have found what society calls "the one"...but really I'm looking for "the two". Because I'm looking for a co-husband, much of society can't decide if I exist or not.
Happy Valentine's day Sonali...🤗💖🤗
Girl, I'm single also, but I'm not giving up on finding a new love. I was married 35 yrs, and plan on doing it again. I'm 59 going on 29...lol Still young at heart and believe there is someone for everyone. I have been single for 7+ and being single at this time of year sucks. But, I celebrate it with loved ones my son's and their families. Awesome newsletter
I'm 26 and in the same boat. The most frustrating thing has to be when people tell you that you don't NEED a relationship to be happy. Maybe I don't -need- one, like I need water and air, but come on. I don't even know what it feels like to be hugged by someone that genuinely cares about me. It's not like I'm some misanthropic hideous beast, either; people terrify me due to past trauma, and I keep myself isolated. The one thing I've always wanted most in life is to just be loved by someone - and someone has the gall to tell me I don't need it? What do they know about it?
Editing is BLUE
The funny thing is you are not alone. My daughter is in the same boat. She wouldn't blame anyone but herself, if she were forced to. It takes work to find and build a relationship. For years I never understood what people meant when they said, "We are better apart than when we're together." I understand that now.
Ha, I'm single and I don't feel any of those things. I feel free, to be honest, to do what I want when, how and why I want. I'm not tied down to anyone or anything by someone. I'm completely happy with that, and no-one will ever make me feel like I'm missing out or I'm a non-person because of it.
Received on Facebook:
Bert Walker Happy Valentines to all, single, coupled, married, etc. Love is a many-splendored thing, but sometimes, Cupid gets drunk, and puts arrows in the furniture, the pets, knocks out windows, sets off car alarms, kind of thing. Personally, I don't think fat, pudgy naked little flying love-angels should be given weapons to play with, but that's just me.
Kathia Tessier I think it's worse when you're alone on V day and you're not single.
Response - Marianne Zura Hugs to you, dear :)
Response - Kathia Tessier Oh no, that was years ago. Found someone who cares much more, but I was thinking there's gotta be some popr souls out there who have the worst. Can't date, and can't have a V day with their partner either...
Sam Victors This is gonna sound weird, but I'm single and happy to be single, but I do love Romantic Love and Affection, just not for me.
I'm on the asexual spectrum, but I am sex-positive and I have several favorite fictional romantic couples (Jamie and Claire Fraser, Jane Eyre and Edward Rochester). Romance is beautiful, its just not for me. But I do like to write about romance, like how Emily Bronte, who never experienced romance before, created a passionate story of love and betrayal in Wuthering Heights.
Marianne Zura You can still have found the one, had the love, and be single now, and happier for the memory while enjoying the companionship of dogs now instead of another human. Love is relative, subjective and doesn't have to include sex.
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