Christmas Wishes with Clyde the Corndog

My character, Clyde the Corndog winds up in many situations with remarkable results.

Christmas Wishes
with Clyde, the Corndog

All I want for Christmas
is two separate feet,
and perhaps a blanket
of fleece, felt, would be neat.

I wouldn’t ask Santa
but I’m tired of hopping.
Don’t like using a cane
though I have been coping

with red and white stripes. Cool!
My candy cane’s tempting--
everybody looks, drools
and I wind up running
from those sweet tarts and fools.

I’d love to play, do splits—
with my friends, bananas,
but won’t take up smoking
with those brisk Havanas.

Got Momma a wagon
now she speeds on the road.
Without exercising
she’s packed weight on … a load.

So Santa I’m asking
for two separate feet
‘cause humans are hungry
and my wee body’s sweet—
for me everyone’s weak.