Preservation

this poem is about self preservation

Do you see the
sadness in my eyes?
I pretend it's ok
but you don't believe the lies.

You see the truth.
You don't let me lie.
You want me to talk,
but I'd rather die.

If I speak the words,
if I say them out loud.
Then I can't pretend,
my head in the clouds.

The pain will be real,
it will all be too true.
I don't believe I'd survive
not even for you.

To endure what I've lived.
I need to pretend.
I love you, my dear,
but this heart just won't mend.