Seniors Say The Darndest Things

A twist to Kids Say The Darndest Things, an experience I had with an Alzheimer's resident.

         One thing I've learned from those suffering Alzheimer's: They say exactly what is on their mind at that moment. When it comes to finding out what someone is thinking, I wish we all suffered a disease that eats away that part of the brain that tells us to stop and think first.



         Just the other day I found myself stuck in a wheelchair traffic jam. Two women were trying to go opposite ways and neither willing to budge for the other. I'm stalled, hands full, waiting for one to move just as little. I've learned using manners here is pointless when these residents have different agendas. Others seem to be non-existent unless they are part of their problem at hand. Anyway, one of our new residents saw I was having some difficulty and decided she would help. Sweet of her, wasn't it? I've noticed a lot of our residents are more willing to help than the nurses and CNAs. Sad isn't it? Not really, at least they feel needed and useful. She stood up and walked over to one of the women in the wheelchairs and tried pushing her to the side a little.

"Lift your feet up, honey," she urged the woman. Nothing, no response or movement from the lady. "Honey, this lady here is trying to get by, can you lift your feet up so I can move you out of her way just a little?" she asked politely. Still no response. She looked down at the woman's feet and realized she had her feet up already. Puzzled, she tried pushing her forward again. "My, you're fat."   My ears couldn't believe what I just heard! There was no rudeness in her tone. Actually, there was no tone at all, just a straight out, matter-of-fact, statement. I tried not to laugh, I swear I did! It didn't work. The harder I tried containing myself, the closer I found myself to the floor. I had to grab hold of the cart in front of me to keep myself from literally rolling on the floor laughing.  I turned away. Of course it wasn't funny, but I'll be damned if it wasn't at the same time. What I was most shocked at was the boldness, the no thought added to it, no self consciousness to it, none of it. She was just stating what was obvious. (You know, as well as I do, that we would stop and think before saying such a thing.)



         By this time everyone around was laughing, including the lady accused of being fat and the poor woman had no idea what she had done to set everyone into hysterics. I'm not sure if it was her statement or my inability to contain myself that started everyone else laughing. Confused, she asked me, "What did I look like?" Thinking she had made some kind of funny action while pushing the woman forward.



         "No, no, no. It's not what you looked like dear, it's what you said to the lady," I explained.



         Obviously, she was still confused. Laughing, she asked again, "What did I look like?" (Palm to forehead here.)



          I was still trying to compose myself but it was getting harder the longer I had to stand here, looking at this poor, confused woman. The med aide had been listening to the entire conversation (notice here my reference to the residents being more willing to help? Yeah, she had been a few feet away the whole time.) and even had a brief giggle attack.(Not sure if she was laughing at me or her, maybe both, I'd imagine both.)

          "I can't believe you called her fat." The med aide wasn't rude, she wasn't critical, she even had a little laugh in her voice as she said it. I guess working with the residents eight plus hours a day, five, sometimes six days a week, the nurses, CNAs and med aides get used to hearing a lot of outbursts, both funny and not.



         The woman, still confused, walks up to her and asked her the same thing she had previously asked me, but with more seriousness in her voice, as if she was getting frustrated. The med aide tried to explain that I was laughing ,we were laughing, because I was so shocked to hear her say such a thing.



         "She didn't know you had it in you to say that," the med aide explained. That either did it for her or she just gave up and walked away.



         I was finally able to go about my work, now with a little laughter under my belt and a bounce in my step. That experience made my day and made going to work that morning worth it.



         Now, whenever I see this new resident, I can't help but to remember a few days ago and instead of seeing a woman riddled with Alzheimer's, who will not be the same in a few months time, I see a funny, carefree, say how she feels woman and I have to smile at her. ( I also cringe, waiting for her to tell me what she's thinking about me.)



         It's amazing what experience teaches you.













Just a side note: The woman accussed of being fat is not fat. In fact, she is smaller than the name caller. Go figure, huh?