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Review Requests: OFF
4,621 Public Reviews Given
4,750 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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251
251
Review of Creativity  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Rayyna

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

This poem had a really interesting, evocative take on creativity. I like the way it was described; you did a great job of painting a vivid picture and offering some good advice to creatives while you're at it!


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this piece. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.

2012 Anniversary Reviews Banner


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
252
252
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloongo* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer BreakOpen in new Window. *Balloongo*


Hi Con

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I enjoyed this story. You did a great job including a lot of vivid and memorable details, especially considering how few words are in the piece. You did a great job of engaging the reader throughout.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was an entertaining read. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.

2012 Anniversary Reviews Banner


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
253
253
Review of Autumn  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Balloongo* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer BreakOpen in new Window. *Balloongo*


Hi Urja Agarwal

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I enjoyed the imagery in this piece. I thought it was a really vibrant piece to read and really captured some of my favorite things about the autumn season.


*Firework* Suggestions

Due to the disparities in the number of syllables, some of the lines read a bit uneven for my tastes, but that's the only real quibble I have with an otherwise enjoyable poem.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was a great read. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.

2012 Anniversary Reviews Banner


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
254
254
Review of Cordial Cemetery  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
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Hi Burt Yonik

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed the mystery and suspense elements early in the story. I liked the fact that there were unanswered questions and a lot of possibilities to play with; the hallmark of a good suspense story is its ability to keep the reader guessing, and you did a great job with that all the way up until the end.


*Firework* Suggestions

It was a little stranger to have the point-of-view character in the story be referred to as "the stranger" at several points, especially since the reader is following along with his experience of the narrative.

The ending, to me, was a bit of a letdown after all of the possibilities that were established earlier in the story. There's the potential for a supernatural element, a lot of really dark possibilities, etc. and yet the story just sort of ended on a matter-of-fact note where everything was adequately explained and everything ended up just fine. I was hoping for a little more payoff for the suspense that had built.

TYPO: ... rows of headstones looks like an ideal spot for an employee in need of a mental respite after a busy morning.

TYPO: After browsing through a small grouping of headstones lined against the iron gating, he decides on crossing a small hilltop extending deeper into the graveyard.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I think there's a lot of potential for this story. The execution needs a little work, but the foundation is there for a really great tale. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.

2012 Anniversary Reviews Banner


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
255
255
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi flashramey

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed this poem. I thought you did a great job of capturing the struggle with communicating to foster/adopted kids the truth about their original circumstances, and whether it's better to tell them or to leave them in the dark. It's something that I think every adoptive parent struggles with to some extent, and you did a great job of capturing that emotional journey in this piece.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a great read. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.

2012 Anniversary Reviews Banner


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
256
256
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
*Balloongo* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer BreakOpen in new Window. *Balloongo*


Hi TIMOTIN

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought you did a really great job with the dynamic between Michi, Hisako, and Hikari. The reader gets a clear sense of the deep relationship that the three of them share, and there's a feeling of a larger world beyond just the events of the story. Nicely done!


*Firework* Suggestions

From a technical standpoint, there were quite a few typos and grammatical errors that caused the story to read not as smoothly as it could have. I'd recommend a thorough proofread in order to catch small details like the following:

"Too bad, I've taken this brat of an angel of yours away from you thee. Try to get me." It should be either "you" or "thee", but not both. And I would recommend choosing either "brat" or "angel" as the subject, and doing away with "of yours" because "I've taken this brat of an angel of yours" feels a little clunky and overly descriptive. "I've taken this brat away from thee." or I've taken this angel away from thee" is much more streamlined and clear.

"It have a knife a knife on its right hand." At a couple of different points, the words "on" and "in" are transposed.

The bigger picture note I have, though, is to consider the information that you're presenting and the order in which it's presented. In the very first paragraph, you tell the audience that "Hikari is cooking rice with chicken stew" but then there's also a conversation about what Hikari is making right after it. Telling the audience the same information twice slows down the experience of reading the story, and takes a little something away from the reveal of what she's cooking. I'd recommend removing that sentence from the first paragraph so that the audience can discover what Hikari is cooking at the same time that Michi asks about it.

Similarly, details that aren't necessary for the story can slow down the read as well. There's an entire paragraph about Michi going to the cupboard to get the plates and cups, then goes to the silverware drawer and sorts through its contents (which are listed off)... and ultimately that was a lot of words and description for a routine task that most readers already understand, and which really doesn't have any bearing on the rest of the story. Those moments could be shortened in order to keep the pacing active and moving along briskly.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I enjoyed the read. The relationship between the characters felt authentic and interesting and, with some extra work on the execution, I think this has the potential to be a really compelling piece. Nice job!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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2012 Anniversary Reviews Banner


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
257
257
Review of Newbie  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Angelina Kyle

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed reading the first couple of entries to your blog. Like you, it took me a long time (years, actually!) to get comfortable enough with this site to venture out and try new things.


*Firework* Suggestions

You've already discovered some of the key ways to connect with others on the site (the newsfeed, creating a blog, etc.). One of the others that I would suggest - if you haven't already - is to find some activities to sign up for. Enter a contest or participate in a lower-stakes activity that involves other members of the community. When I was first starting out, seeing the same people participate in different contests, or chatting with fellow participants in an activity can be a really great way to start to build community here.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed these first couple of entries in your blog. I hope you keep adding to it! *Smile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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2012 Anniversary Reviews Banner


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
258
258
Review of The Stars Above  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Draga

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed reading this poem. I thought it was well-structured and had a really nice rhythm to the pacing of reading it.


*Firework* Suggestions

The only like that really stuck for me was, "Your beauty is unmatched, nor is your serene grace." I think the word there should be "as" instead of "nor" as the second part of the line feels in keeping with the first, so I'm not sure "nor" is the appropriate separator there.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I enjoyed the read. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.

2012 Anniversary Reviews Banner


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
259
259
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi Dawsongirl

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed the comparison between politicians and birds that make the same calls or sounds over and over again. I thought it was a clever idea that was well-developed and presented.


*Firework* Suggestions

Just one small note; this item was written in 2012 but modified in 2020, and the intro description says, "based on the last presidential election." Given that there was more than one president election between 2012 and 2020, it might be beneficial to specifically state which presidential election you're referring to, not just the "last" one.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a really enjoyable read. Nicely done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
260
260
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi 💙 Carly: poems & novel

I'm sending this review in connection with "I Write in 2024Open in new Window..


*Train* Positives

I really liked the introduction to this story. In just the first few paragraphs, you do a great job of establishing setting and character, giving the reader a sense of a well-developed, three-dimensional world. I instantly wanted to know more about the characters as I started reading, which was a great feeling to have when you're just starting out on a story.


*Train* Suggestions

I think the story was missing a bit of dramatic tension. From the minute that Regan finds out what Billy did, she her life essentially blows up, but there's never a moment of real risk or uncertainty because Jimmy is right there for her (he literally hadn't even left her driveway yet!) and is a safety net for her to fall into. I think it would be a little more impactful if the crucial life decision that Regan made in that moment had a moment of uncertainty or risk to it, in order to make the payoff at the end all the more encouraging.


*Train* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a great read and really enjoyed it. Nice job! It's always a pleasure to read your stories. *Smile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
261
261
Review of Technology  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Itchybarn

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought you did a really good job with this poem. The structure and rhyme scheme were easily to follow and well presented, and the message about the implications of advancing technology were intriguing.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this poem. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.

2012 Anniversary Reviews Banner


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
262
262
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi TheBusmanPoet

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought you did a great job with this item. It was clear, to the point, and effectively written.


*Firework* Suggestions

Typo: "from their hard earned money and self worth."


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I think you did a great job with this item. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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2012 Anniversary Reviews Banner


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
263
263
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hi dath

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I think the questions you pose in this item are thought-provoking and intriguing. Success can be one of those really nebulous concepts and you did a good job of prodding your reader to think about it a little more deeply.


*Firework* Suggestions

For me, the brevity of the piece made it difficult to fully define success. In a piece that seems to be challenging the reader to think deeper about this topic, I was hoping for a bit more detail and context for the reader to mull over. As written, the reader can only really contemplate success as they understand it, and I think a philosophical piece like this would benefit from giving the reader just a bit more guidance and context to mull over.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I enjoyed this item and thought you did a good job with it. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
264
264
Review of The love of God  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Zinzon

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought this was a beautiful poem with a really touching message. The structure of the poem was simple and allowed the reader to focus on the intent of the words.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this poem. Nicely done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
265
265
Review of Your Destination  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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Hi kristofer

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought you did a really great job establishing the setting and the tone of this story. In comparatively few words, you managed to create a vivid and clear image of an imaginary setting complete with politics and geography, which is not easy to do. Nice work!


*Firework* Suggestions

The story itself didn't feel like it had a definitive beginning, middle, and end with clearly-developed characters. That might be due to the brevity of the piece, but I felt like I was missing a bit of a connection to the story and the characters the same way I felt connected to the setting due to the thoroughness of the description.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a well-written, engaging piece. There are some areas for improvement for sure, but you also have a really, really strong foundation upon which to build. There's a ton of potential with this piece. *Smile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
266
266
Review of Hello  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Balloongo* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer BreakOpen in new Window. *Balloongo*


Hi Azur_fox

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I think it's great that, on the day you created your account, you already figured out how to create an item and post it to your portfolio. Some members find that either really confusing or are hesitant to share their work with the community, so you're already off to a great start!


*Firework* Suggestions

I'm not sure that creating an item to post your request for help is the best way to get the kind of feedback you're looking for. I would suggest either posting it in your notebook so that it's seen on the community newsfeed, or posting in one of the appropriate forums on the site where other members will see it much more readily than just happening across the request when checking out items in your port.

I noticed that you haven't posted anything in your port since this initial item, so if you're still looking for ideas about what to write about, I actually recently read another item that had some suggestions for writing ideas, which you might find helpful: "Writing Advice: Ideas"  Open in new Window. by Bernie Author Icon

There are also a wide variety of contests and activities on the site which can serve as inspiration for your writing if you have no other ideas. I'd highly encourage you to find a contest or an activity that has prompts that pique your interest and giving some of them a try.


*Firework* Overall

I hope you find this review helpful and that, above all, you've found the inspiration to write. If you need any additional help, just let me know! *Smile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
267
267
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Bernie

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

This item is a really useful resource for writers looking for help coming up with their ideas. I like the fact that you included multiple approaches, including both direct (seeking out storylines and inspiration) and indirect (giving ideas some time and space to percolate) methods so that everybody can have something to try, regardless of their personal preferences. Great job!


*Firework* Suggestions

I don't have any suggestions for improvement. Nice work!


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was a really useful, effective item.


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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268
268
Review of Colors  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Dan I Am

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I enjoyed reading this poem. I thought your take on the various qualities of red and blue were well-presented and fun to ready. The structure of your poem was effective and the presentation was concise. Nice work!


*Firework* Suggestions

No suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this piece. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
269
269
Review of My Mom is Me  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Angelic Light

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed this poem and its dedication to telling the reader a little about who your mother was. I lost my mom a few years ago and I deeply empathize with the desire to understand yourself through the lens of someone you lost. This was a really touching piece. Well done!


*Firework* Suggestions

No suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed this read. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
270
270
Review of Wrinkles  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Write-fully Loti

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this item! As someone who's also not getting any younger, I appreciated the way that you captured the feeling of aging, where sometimes it feels like you're still just a kid, and at other times you absolutely feel your age at whatever phase of life you're in. It was a really well-presented, simple item that concisely made your point. Well done!


*Firework* Suggestions

No suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

You did a great job with this piece. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
271
271
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Walkinbird 3 Jan 1892

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed this Lord of the Rings fanfiction. I thought it was well-written and a great expansion on the mythology established in the books. It was a fun read.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was a well-written and engaging item. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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for entry "Enter the LadybugOpen in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi KingsSideCastle

I'm sending this review in connection with "I Write in 2024Open in new Window..


*Train* Positives

I really enjoyed this poem. I thought your word choice and description was excellent, and painted a vivid picture of both the ladybug and the flower that it was resting on in the image prompt. The rhyme scheme and structure were both great.


*Train* Suggestions

While the poem did a great job of describing what is literally seen in the picture, I would have loved a little more than just a physical description of what's depicted in the image prompt; it would have been great to have the poem offer some kind of additional commentary, observation, metaphor, inference, etc. beyond that. I realized that's more of a "how I would write it" suggestion and that you may very well be limited by the length of the poem you're writing, but if I'm being nitpicky, I would have loved just a little more than the physical description.


*Train* Overall

Overall, I think your poem was an excellent example of using poetic language to describe an image. I would have personally loved a bit more than just a description of an image, but beyond that I thought you did a great job. Well done!


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of The Speaker  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Balloongo* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer BreakOpen in new Window. *Balloongo*


Hi Shamone Mcgee

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed the evocative nature of this poem. Your description and word choice was excellent, creating a really vibrant image in the reader's mind. I also appreciated the fact that each line of the poem was length and allowed for some really detailed language, beyond just a handful of words.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this piece. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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2012 Anniversary Reviews Banner


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
274
274
Review of Dark Black  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloongo* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer BreakOpen in new Window. *Balloongo*


Hi ChrisDaltro-Chasing Moonbeams

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really liked the structure and the atmosphere of this poem. I thought you did a good job setting the tone and keeping the reader interested throughout. Really nice work!


*Firework* Suggestions

I don't have any particular suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was a great read. Thanks so much for sharing!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.

2012 Anniversary Reviews Banner


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
275
275
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloongo* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer BreakOpen in new Window. *Balloongo*


Hi walkawayrene

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought this was a really touching poem about dealing with the loss of your son. I lost my mother a couple of years ago, and can really identify with a lot of the emotions and struggles that you depict here. Really nice job!


*Firework* Suggestions

I don't have any suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this poem, and I'm so sorry for your loss. *Hug1**Frown**Hug2*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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