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When I wish not write, I come here. To relieve my thoughts. |
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As I navigate my way through life, much like this great web site. I get lost, Like being in a small forest I know the edge is near. "Where oh where" I cried out. It never answers back. Then one day, I awoke with a clarity known only to me. The Beginning of One
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| Good day reader, For starters, I don’t feel much like writing today. That describes most days lately. It could indicate why I feel so out of balance as well. All these thoughts and emotions trapped in my head, with nothing, not a word even said. I surely can’t work on my stories or manuscripts, not feeling this way. Thus being the case, my blog wins out. I haven’t written in it in a while anyway, one could say I am certainly overdue. New time restraints mixed in with old issues I’m working through. I just haven’t had the strength to write. As I’ve written once or twice I’m sure, sometimes I can’t control the writing and it must come out. Well, Today “Tracy” suggested I do some writing, a note, a journal entry. Anything. She was right, I needed this to free up some space, like cleaning out my hard drive….I admit as tired as I feel and physically and mentally drained. This is the best thing I’ve done all day. Scribble some words down. Think of it as stretching if I were a gymnast. There have just been a lot of personal changes going on in my life, some days overwhelming, other days I find peace and hold onto it for as long as I can. In this economy, if I could keep my paying job stabilized, I would be able to develop a writing schedule. I know, sounds like procrastination, and it most likely is. Oh and to my Characters, I am sorry I haven’t been in to visit, I assure you we will make up for lost time soon enough. As I said, there’s much going on in my little portion of the world. Things I’d rather not jump into at the moment. I’ll just tap the keys a little bit more, then peruse the web site and maybe create something short, something fun. If you did read this my reader. :) I hope your having a good day. Maybe one of those good luck days. =P |
| This is for the few who check for updates. I love all three of you. ;) For starters, things are tough. I haven't had the freedom to come here and relax. Rather then dwell and ponder, I'll try to let my mind wander. This may be short, or could be long. If it we're up to me, It would be in another language, well still English. Written in another book. Instead, to attempt to clear my head. I snuck in here to open up my mind a little. A good image would be sneaking out to your parents garage, slowly opening the drivers side door of your dads '57 Chevy. Pretending to drive, hoping of course dad doesn't catch you. While that's not really what's going on for me, it's kind of how I feel at the moment. I can't even start the engine, just to hear it purr. Daytime in my current location, forget writing. I've written about writing through distractions, well I am far beyond that. The closest feeling I can imagine, would be prison, which I am clearly not in, or am I? Prisons don't have to be huge concrete buildings with guards every where. There are many types of 'Prisons', I suppose I have allowed myself into one more. So I wondered if mechanics worked on their own cars, doctors on their own pain. I thought maybe coming to 'my hospital' would make me feel better. In many ways it does, but I am also sad. The cars to loud and I can't fire it up here. I have my private projects also, I do manage little time slots for, problem is when you only have a little time to write and a lot to free yourself from to do it. You don't get as much actual writing done as you wold like. To my three loyal supporters, and the many others who have eyes on me now, I appreciate it. Boring as this may be to some, it's unstressing me. It's my blog anyway. I keep telling myself to write some short stories, they always make me feel better. It's a struggle in my world right now, last year around this time, I thought for sure I would be doing much better. But when you go to the doctor and say "Doc, it hurts when I do this". What does the doctor say? "Don't do that". That's only a partial part of whats blocking me, rest assured it's not writers block, I simply can't write at most times that I want to because of some poor decisions I made over recent years. Ironically enough, those "poor choices" involved helping people. I didn't see it then, but clear as a fresh water stream, I see now I need to focus on me. Thing is part of who I am, is helping you. I'm the guy pushing your broken down car out of the way, not because you're in my way, because I see you're stuck, checking all your mirrors, almost panicked. I'm one of those kind of guys. I care, and I suppose that's what brought me here tonight. Behind the curtain, is my data collecting people counting page monitoring master super computer. Really it's just some tools we have to see how many views each page gets. My numbers are doing well. Better than I could have imagined, I mean come on, I have three readers! No, I'm kidding, you're probably like what? you, me and someone you know? Well that would be three now wouldn't it. If it where only three readers out of all my writings, and ramblings. If someone got something nice out my writing, nothing else matters to me. It's why I write. I have to, I need to read some more also. I'm not huge reading fan, but I have read a couple of books in the last year. Prior to that, other than my day job materials, which the reading only consisted of insert part "A" into part "B" and turn 45 degrees counterclockwise. OK, it's getting real late now and I'm robbing myself some much needed rest. I just wanted you to know. I'm always writing. If my updates aren't coming fast enough, or you would like me to write something specific. Feel free to email me. I'll write just about anything, for anyone. In the mean time, I must go get back in my box, it's time to sneak out of the car, slowly close the door and hope mom and dad are still sleeping. Last time, dad noticed the mirror I forget to put back the way he had it. Thank you for your curiosity if nothing more. I started this hoping it would make me feel better, clearing my head. I did accomplish that, only so much so you know I'm still alive, I'm out here, trying make it to my desk, where all is silent, my worries are no longer shoved down my throat eight hundred million times a day. I am overdue for a short story, I will create more time, some how, someway, I'll make it dark, and scare the demons away. I'll go work on that soon, then crank out one of these stories, I have several running in my mind. I know you will enjoy them. I did. |
And better notes. Well, this year has certainly proven to be the year things change. Not really what I had in mind, however. As the winds of time, have blown me everywhere but the right direction. 2014 was the year, that I fought through every storm, and I triumphed where others saw failure. I have persevered through the hardest decisions of my life, to preserve the future that I hold so dare to my heart. My endurance tested time and time again, yet my energy remains un challenged…most times. I have just returned from a 30 day stay somewhere I really didn’t need to be. I haven’t the strength to attempt to articulate it now. Just returning home today, having accomplished so much between my return, and to where my body was ready to fail me. I wanted to write a few chapters this evening, I could not. That gets frustrating at times. I long for the days when my manuscripts are seen and my work enjoyed by the masses. I now know, I have been gifted, of the many gifts, the ability to not only tell stories, to show you, within your own mind, a world unknown to most people I have interviewed. I could use the money also, as I struggle to get by. I will upgrade my writing to a higher priority, seems the more I write, the better I feel. Most writers I know who feel this way, tend to want to vent out their lives on readable print, to be read by all. I wish to write stories, not of my life, but of yours. I can’t divulge too much here, it would take the mystery out of what I am getting at. Since February of this calendar year, I have relearned how to write, in a way such as only the ‘Sages’ mused. My spelling is sometimes off, minor grammar errors once and awhile, mostly when I’m writing passed my bed time…. I enjoy posting here; it gives you something to read at some other point in time. I’m not sure what people think about me here, I make some laugh. Probably irritate a few (behind the scenes in the Authors Lounge) ::Wink:: Hopefully I inspire at least one of them, they inspire me. I like this community, it is the only reason I post many things that I do here. I have articles, and short stories written by hand. 3 Novels, those are in ‘production’ with a fourth concept in mind. I would enjoy days were my writing supports me; in the meantime, I’m working on becoming the best I can be. Some people won’t understand it that way. That is OK, anyone who reads this would understand it, or get it if said another way. As they say around here, Write On! Seems I can’t go anywhere without a pen and notebook handy, some of my ‘tools’ of the trade now. Far cry from my contractor’s tools, or my computer equipment. Though they all require notes. How funny. For me, in all three groups, the notes contain not just data, but ideas, creations. If there were only more time in the day, I was shooting for one thousand words, but I need sleep. I like this blog stuff, it’s my note pad. |
Once upon a sleepy eye... I woke before the other guy.... Just random stuff, my public notes if you will. I have been practicing my writing, since I have joined the family here. I have many distractions still, I am working on those. Most of my writings, I consider them my notes, others may see them as stories one day. Anything I post up here is meant for humans to see, not that I am not human too, I have already seen all of this stuff. I'm almost ready for bed but wanted to randomize some more things out of me cap. writing is not only healthy, I find it therapeutic. I have also realized I am not so much a writer, as I am more of a creator. I create things. If you do not know what that means, you haven't met the right words, yet. I like to write those, it calms me. Little irony there from my personal life. The Jargen Bargain, you get my jargen, it's free. |
The New I'm a writer apparently and I am sure some of my followers are anxious for a new read. It is not that I don't have anything to write about, it is quite the opposite actually. I have much to say and really no where to just sit and write. The ideas and now the words, they flow like the mightiest rivers most people can't even imagine, they are that blinded by history. What's right and wrong as well as many other distractions. If I was the one, how would they know. They expect a fucking light show, I mean really. They are that stupid, learning from old writings that age well beyond their spectacles. re written by other blinded men, it only gets worse and somehow, they held onto certain parts. Born here, rightful owner to the 'thrown'. I have the same rights as you, only I chose to be one, I am one I was born here. I am also a natural born leader. It's like knowing a guy is Obama and saying ok good. Now, when the grease turns clear, the burger is fully cooked.... |
| One of those days, I don't want to write today. I have too much on my mind. "The Queen"....is anything but. Rise of the apes? I think that's the name, of the movie I want to see again, it was good. |
yup, blisters. my first week, I had blisters on every finger. I understand more, we'll just call it a great personal journey and Leave it there. Here's my 2 cents on Jebus, Fucking guy said the wrong thing to the wrong person, most likey in the wrong language. He in turn got the wrong treatment from his brothers. I also think he wasn't the first to try, prios they didn't even know how to write. technology is key, there are many. I think ot's possible. I know it is. I know why people oppose good things too, all of them. tee hee. we'll back to being "Crazy".....If that were the case, I have my own version of wurd in private. Food for thought.  Knowledge is Power. I get it. I get it all now, I've seen enough. It started at one, which one? pfffft. Idk. It just is and it's working. Open the gates. At the right time. Everyone. |
Mysteriously I joke to myself I fell like writing but don't want to commit. It's like all the punctuation errors bug me, though in time I'm not worried. Distractions can kill creativity also, focus is good, distractions are bad. I'm listening to Billy Currington ~ People are good and Beer is crazy. ~Truth I think I understand the riddles and puzzles now, many of them. Curious?, yeah me too. Love is deep on my mind lately, it's a major distraction in my life. Not because I need it, because I thought I had found her. Now I don't know what to think. I don't want to write about it, because I'm still emotional about her, I don't want to hurt her with my words anymore, she should stop handing me a loaded gun then and stop giving me shit to shoot. I left her, but this is general public info, it's also known as common sense. |
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