When I wish not write, I come here. To relieve my thoughts.
As I navigate my way through life, much like this great web site. I get lost, Like being in a small forest I know the edge is near. "Where oh where" I cried out. It never answers back. Then one day, I awoke with a clarity known only to me.
The Beginning of One
! < 3
For once, my Blog update comes early. He he, One of these days, I will find ‘Organization’ in my “Life”. Until then, I will remain free muah ha ha.
I have a lot of writing to do, and much to catch up on as well as more to “Flow”, into the world. This update has multiple purposes. For one, I need to write a personal letter, soon. I am not certain, how this letter will be received.
Up to this point, I have lived, Been Destroyed, Now I live again. Though, many would not call my current ‘existence’ “Living”. I do understand why, I also understand why anything to do with me, is more attractive than feeding the starving, creating homes for those without. I understand why it is easier to look in my direction, ready to hurl stones.
Besides My Letter, to Someone I care for. This “Rest Area” of thought, is a pool for several to come drink from. It is not a fountain of youth, perhaps a puny pool with some ‘breadcrumbs’. For those who are learning more, at their own pace. I am often asked “What Abilities do you have” or “What skills do you feel you know”, with many variants to the same question.
My Answer to these:
“I have every Ability known to exist. Plus the ones, unknown to most. HOWEVER, I can not access them all, without destroying who I am, here today. To make it easier to understand. As the world progresses, I too. Can progress. We all have these abilities. I am able to 'keep it together' ... so far.
That is why I am here. I have always known this. It was My "awakening" that had shown me everything. This is also where I gained the understanding. Of why "Knowledge" is hidden. If we learn to quickly = catastrophic failure. With that being said, I feel comfortable Speaking with you. You are but one of four people, I have shared this with. (Now I share with the world*** Edit)
Key for me, is remember to stay grounded, while also, being aware of the Universe's role. It will give us everything we ask of it, and it will let us destroy ourselves, if we do not listen.”
I won’t quote here as I do not remember the entire quote. I will find it again one day. A Cambridge Professor, and true genius. Once said something to the effect of: If One can understand the laws of the Universe …. There is more to the quote and that is all I remember of it.
I understand the “Laws of the Universe”. We all should, but we don’t. Today, I would only be guessing why we don’t. Educated guess or not, is only a guess. I have seen enough ‘Positive Affirmations’, and events unfold before my own eyeballs, to know. We not only create our own realities. We create our own hells also.
Taking a dream, and making it real. Sounds like the things of Fantasy. Maybe they are. Maybe that is why when we are in love. We reach deep into our partners Wildest Dreams, and we pull out what we are capable of creating.
Fear, is one thing we forget about, especially when we are in an ‘evolved’ state or status. When we have the proper alignment, and the Universe is Manifesting for us, our deepest desires. Who remembers that one eerie thought they had. While “creating” their dreams. I don’t want to get into much detail on any particular subject.
I do have much on my mind, and little ways to direct my Positive flow at the moment. My heads not clear, I am not “over thinking”, I think I am “over tasking”. Over thinking to me, is dwelling on a subject or set of circumstances. Whereas Over tasking, is trying to do too many things, and expecting them all to be complete about the same time.
As I return, I will try to continue without reviewing, what I was writing. As my Three Readers know (I love you ALL)! I tend to continue, or push forward, through distractions and other things that tend to pull us away from our reading/writing. See this ‘Distraction’ is technically not a distraction to me, I deal with certain “elements” on a daily basis.
I used the term distraction, as this is a blog entry, and in this entry alone, some may take notice. My Flow had been ‘altered’ in some way. I usually don’t point them out, the distractions. I do at times though.
I think I will review briefly, to make sure I didn’t leave any “open ended” points I may have wanted to make. I am also eager to wrote a letter, to someone of Great Importance to me. I do not know if they are aware how much they actually mean to me. Which is fine, I do not know how I affect their thoughts, if I do at all. I will add, I feel as though, everything. Is as it should be.
Hello Reader, Now that I am aware of many of you. I felt a Hello was in order. Also Let me rephrase, I am aware of more, and now that I know you are here, for me. I am here for you too. In recent months, Has been a learning orgasm of sorts. Non sexual of course, and on that note. I may be able to write Romance Novels one day after all. While they do not top my list of things to do, I do listen to you all. If that’s what you want, that is what I will give you.
As many know, I came here to WDC three years ago, to learn how to write well, and also, I have recently termed “Cross Communication” as another reason for my seeking this community. I need to learn how to speak to and write in a way, that everyone can understand, about the same time. I also need to understand, what others are saying.
I have come to the point, it matters little to me, what others think. With the only exception being, those who are close to me, who in their own way, have shown, by their own device, or other means. They belong in my life. I share that with you, as you are my reader, and if new, or have read every piece. You are still me Reader, you also, matter to me. Many readers have given me feedback, of all sorts.
While I think to my self I must be doing something right, I had first come here, knowing I had it all wrong. I have since learned. That is OK, I believe we come here to learn. To Quote OneWay, who absolutely Delights me. “Life is just a class room” ~Taylor Swift. I hope I got the wording right, as it has been some time since I have heard “New Romantics”. If you haven’t heard it, you should give it a listen.
I say this because, in one of my recent campaigns. I came to realize several things. Some I will cover in another area. I suppose the most important thing I realized from that campaign, when I found She was promoting the same message, in her way. I too was promoting the message, in my way. What if the earth was the teacher, we are the students?
Life is fun, I can see that now, I didn’t always see that. Since I have come to learn how to write, I have learned so much more. About the world in which we live, about people, about nature, and most importantly, how to transcribe my experiences, using words, that are confusing to be brutally honest. That is only one language, mind you.
I know since prior to registering here, one of the many things I needed to learn, was How to ‘Cross Communicate’, across language barriers, and without translators. I have a translator today, who helps me as their time permits. Which has allowed me to research this and take a closer look into language barriers. Why would I bother?
I do so, because I believe one of the biggest problems in this world. Is Fear. Fear is the lack of understanding. Take death for example. The very word, strikes fear into many people, why? Because they do not understand death. War? People fear war, why? Why are we at war? You see, that which we do not understand, we fear.
As for the why’s? I am at a point, where Q&A, from my perspective, is over for now. Short of those closest to me, and my readers. I am often asked questions, and have helped … a lot of people, mostly in the last three years, when it comes to subjects of intellectual natures, open-mindedness, and a little about our extraordinary senses, that most are not aware we have, or they are aware, and have no clue, how they work.
I’m learning how to ‘Cross Communicate’ most of this, to all, it is one of those, right time, right place things. I am tested just as everyone else, nor am I different from anyone else. I do sometimes wonder, Why me? Why do I know this, or that? (Then I think, they kill the messenger) … Ahhhh I have no fear though, I understand.
I reference my purpose/’s in writing, and left breadcrumbs for those to pick up along the way. Life is too short, for back and fourth and back and fourth. All I know, is I am guided, by an energy, and if I make a mistake, I bring attention to it, correct it, so as there are no misunderstandings, do to my delivery of my speech, or writing.
If everyone did this, the world would be an easier place to live for certain. I also know, that if I abuse the gifts I have been given, I will lose them just as quickly. I am tested often, daily, many times a day. I am rewarded too, in ways. I can give one example, many will understand. I am rewarded, with special moments.
Most people I observe, or listen too, want fortune, fame, etc. OK, so get to work on it, these things don’t just fall from the sky. I wanted to understand, To know. I know if you are given anything of extraordinary value, and you abuse it, you lose it. Consider it a gift, with a curse.
One way I try to unite the overwhelmingly divided people is through talking with them. People are angry, I do not blame them, I too am angry. Not always or all the time. In a general sense. For example. “United we stand, Divided we fall”. Sound familiar? Then why divide us? Why make us hate each other and be suspicious of everyone. (I am aware, hate is a choice, are you)
Who benefits from this form of society? Certainly not the people. For the people, by the people. Well, why is everything taken away from the people? Understand, there is something going on, and most people, are clueless. I hear the word dying, and my ears perk up. I want to save what ever is dying. Tell people the planet is dying: ::you hear the needle hit the floor::, if the TV isn’t on, brainwashing them. I have come to the terms, the TV, is the WMD of today, and has been perfected over the course of time, to do just that.
I’ll cover that in another writing. As of now, in order to progress, I need to move, out of my current environment. Into a stable, and preferably serene environment if I am to continue to write. It’s my energy, It is powerful. I have seen it in action. One of the gifts, was energy. I’ve mentioned that, only now I am beginning to mention other things, hence ‘Stage Two’.
I have seen enough to know, I can say this, as for one it is true, and just as important, people are trying so hard to figure it out. We do have ESP. We can send thoughts, and read them, etc. I’ll let that sink in, as I am not to ‘drop it all at once’. It does not work that way. Let me digress back to “Division”. Truth be told, Divided, We think. ‘There’ are those, in ‘power’ [Their Power], who do not want us to think.
Do you believe The President who Mandated All TV’s will be HDTV, really cares about your viewing pleasure? The same Position that bombs civilians, and is not, nor under current law will ever be held accountable for such actions, cares about your viewing pleasure. Think, They want us divided, and they distract us. Why distract us? Distraction, will kill creativity, like a Bug Zapper does to bugs … That fast.
Why do they not want us to be creative? Think about that for awhile. Thank you for reading.
*I have a fundraiser Active at gofundme.com/flcomeau*
It is important, Worthy of your Attention.
Can’t touch this!
It’s Hammer time. I met MC Hammer once in concert, slapped him a high five. That was a cool day. I was still a kid then, with the coolest story the next day at school. The part I left out for most people, after the concert, someone stole my best friend’s gold chain, right off his neck. I knew it instantly, not exact, it’s when it happened, the guy bumped into me also, and as though I read his mind…I looked at my friend’s neck.
There was a light red ring around his neck, where his gold chain once lay. I asked him what happened to his chain? He panicked, and had no clue. Now, I have always been a fighter, and immediately went into predator mode. We had a third friend with us, and he like me, a beast on the streets. We were exceptional fighters and I could think of no one I would rather fight back to back with.
We pursued the thief, only to find him around the corner of this luxury hotel. Just as we lay eyes on him, he smashed a 40-ounce size bottle of alcohol over some seemingly homeless guys head. At that point, and seeing he had another large fellow with him, we opted to walk away. Even the best fighters, know when to walk away.
Thing was, this young woman appeared out of nowhere it seemed to me, as she walked in the opposite direction of us. I warned her, “do not go that way, those guys stole my friends chained, then smashed a bottle over that guys head”. What happened next, really opened my eyes, and got my blood pumping. This young woman yells over to these two large thugs. Mind you, I’m large, and my friend, equal in matter. We are not little men by any means.
These thugs appeared massive to me anyway, and as we’re walking away. This young woman yells to them. Something to the effect of “Hey, Yo. These white boys said you stole their chain”. Without a word, the three of us double stepped to vacate as quickly as possible. There were police near the concert hall. We just had to make it there and it was a long ways away.
I hear “Hey, Yo! Where you going”. Another voice says “Yo, you think we stole your chain? Come here, where are you going?” By now, we are turning the corner and we are in front of the hotel. Concert hall is one block away. Soon as we hit the corner, short of all out running, we picked up the pace.
It was then, I saw Pat, out of the corner of my eye, get pulled backwards. Sure enough, I look over and one of the thugs grabbed him. Now it’s on, I’m not leaving Pat, and I love Neal, he’s one of my closest friends, he is no fighter. Fortunately, even though these guys were larger and older men, as I remind you, were teenagers still.
It was two fights, one versus one. I saw Neal go for help, and Pat holding his own. I turn to what I knew would be a large man about to strike me. I evaded as I turned and avoided a punch. It was purely luck. Now, at one point, this guy manages to lay me out over the hood of a car, he draws a knife and points it at my face. I don’t recall what he said, as he swiped my face with it, just missing my eyeball.
Now, I’m in fight or flight mode. Just then, I hear the young woman say “Take his shirt”. I had purchased an MC Hammer souvenir shirt at the concert. Apparently, she wanted it. Unknowingly, she may have saved my life. As she said that, my attacker, looked at the t-shirt. In that moment, I punched him in the face with everything I had…with the hand that had no shirt.
He fell to the ground and I ran, and cleared the area. I didn’t go far though and my attacker nor the area never left my sight. I had two friends to find and now was concerned for their safety. Well, first, I found Neal. Neal, was lucky, he found a mounted officer, a police man on a horse, they were already heading toward us, with help on the way.
Now where’s Pat? Pat came walking from around some vehicle, I didn’t really notice, he had a smile from ear to ear. I asked him, you ok? He said yeah, I’m fine. I
Kicked that guys ass and he ran. “Did you see the front doors?” Pat asked. The front doors to the hotel, numbered in three. Two push open double door style doors on each side, and a revolving door in the middle.
The double doors on the right were shattered. All the doors were made from glass. I asked Pat what happened to the doors. He laughed, and said “the guy picked me up threw me through them.” I laughed, maybe half out of fear, and half out of losing my mind. I knew Pat was tough, but to be thrown through solid glass doors, and then to get up and kick the guys ass who did that to you.
That’s Pat, and that’s the crew I rolled with growing up. We’re all still great friends today.
Now, why I chose to tell this story, I’m unsure, I needed to write, some, and wanted to write more. There are things I must say, and to many, I must tell. Today is not that day, and the rest will have to wait, until more people are well.
I remind myself, and the few who are following, I have to write, and learn how to do so well. In time, more stories, that affect us all, I will begin to tell. For now, I needed to let some words out and exercise my mind, it feels good when I can write, and am not bothered by time. I also needed to update my blog, as I see it has been a month.
One month that has been busy for me, I lunched a couple of projects, and to date, so far they are doing well. I have also found larger communities, in which I use to sample and test my theories with, all of which is turning out pretty swell. I have gained more readers, making my audience larger. I hope I have not let anyone down, as I do have a day job, and works slow for now, which means I’m low on funds for many of the things in which I need.
Three years ago, just over. I came here, to writing.com. I found it on google, as I needed to know about writing. Without repeating it all, I have documented many things here, for fact checkers mostly. I also, come back often as not only is my family here, I am continuously learning how to write. By this, I do not mean, I didn’t know how to write before, although in a sense, I didn’t.
The writing I speak of today, is of how each word I release, affects each one of you, and how or in what way. That’s what I mean when I say, I need to update my blog, or I need to write this story. Ultimately, I found I enjoy writing, and once I have fulfilled my purpose, I do hope I am granted time to stay. As story teller at a masters level, sure comes with a nice pay.
I don’t want to be swinging hammers and climbing through God knows what to build things or make repairs in another twenty years. I enjoy work, and as I get older, I prefer my work, be accustomed to my age. What is comfortable to me. For example, some guys, not many, but some guys may still enjoy swinging sledge hammers at sixty, seventy years old.
I see myself, writing novels, spending quality time with my wife. While I could still be that construction guy or builder and spend time with my wife. It’s dirty work and I don’t want to spend time cleaning up and putting tools away, etc. At the end of some jobs, it could literally be three hours from the time work ends, till I can hug my wife.
This is why, I choose novels. Mostly because it is a skill I am developing quite well, I am told. Though, the single most important reason for me. I get to spend more time, at home. Doing what I want to do. And that is why I will write novels. Whether or not people enjoy them, is another story. Though, if life, is anything like my purpose, I think I will be just fine. Thank you for reading.
Most people do not know this. Infact no “mortal does”. August 1, 2017 Marks the Seventeenth Anniversary. For a small group, I started bringing together. I found back when I myself was a child. People would gang up, or band against. Me. Until I was forced, to enforce my Boundaries.
In the highest advancements of Technology , much of which is dedicated to “gaming”, or “gamers”…Story for another time.
In a world so new and advanced, to could still see the same patterns. Battle Core Online Gaming is an NPO. Albeit a tiny one. It costs me plenty. I have receipts.
Battle Core – The Center of the Fight
With Members of like, we share resources. We have created safe zones in some of the worlds most popular games. While still drawing in the worlds top players. Having the Number One Player in The World, Still to this day. With the L86A1, the Number one BF3 player in the world with this weapon. On our Team. Yet, we made it fun for kids looking to get away from….
I made to number 60. Out of Four million plus. Was a good time, I learned a lot. No one liked my ump-45. It was Sexy Black. It’s funny how numbers work. Life too. A brother I assumed may lead the forefront. Hath fallen ill, beyond words. Only he can ‘fix’t or repair, for to look, is lost time.
The NPO, usually pays for itself, and my staff and I have gotten by on or own.
In no way are/I looking for donations. I do advertise within each community when new “toy” of “enhancements” come along.
|For nothing else, I promise you this, in ways of remembered all things, Past, and Present. I will remember you, as follows: (lol)
Gifts of Divine Nature. Thank You, 'Divine'
I imagine Tall, With Long Blond Hair.
Though she's really short.
She's the only One that takes me there.
Eyes, ruined, looks of despair.
What would you like me to Say.
For if you only had one chance.
You know what's right,
Maybe you know, Things of 'Like'
For now, and too no end.
I tease you as well. You know this is My Delight.
Few are the Might, with a Surge Like ours.
Good Night Goddess.
Thank You, for the Lullaby.
Unless you Crave More. ::Bites Lip:: ..::Yours::..
Updating my blog 2.0
No, I don’t know what the version number means either, I put it there sometime to remind me, that a newer or ‘more recent’ update is needed. That I should do this with some sort of regularity. However, as many know and more will one day find out, not everything in this world goes according to plan. Sometimes, not even close, then there are those days we throw out the plan altogether and short of ‘winging it’, we improvise.
Life has been busy, no wait. Life is always busy, it is I who have been busy lately. Between seeking new sources of resources for my consulting. To more personal matters, I have been bogged down in a “nose to the grindstone” fashion. It amuses me today, other days it’s truly an annoyance. How I can’t wait to update my blog, I get all settled in. Everything within reach, of my arms that is. Should I need a sip of refreshment, or a paper towel to wipe a drip, to my note pads and other things I like to have handy when I write.
Least not forget, my seat in a most comfortable position, my surroundings as I prefer them. Quiet is this house where should something move or be disturbed, I’d know if it were a mouse. Yet again as often as before, and again in the future many days will come more. I am ready, set, what? What was I going to write about? As I laugh to myself, out loud you would hear, if you were here. I’ve done it again, I’ve sat down and completely forgotten what I wanted to write.
This is one thing I like about Blogs, they help me unload the words, and I later check my grammar. As for spelling and punctuation, had these been laws, I’d be in the slammer! Even my blog, for once it’s posted, it’s been read and reread over and over. I edit and correct as though I was a teacher. Though I know little, call it just enough. How to fix the words, and broadcast all this worldly stuff.
Today was for me, a good day here in New England. The weather warmer than normal, on what would be a cold winters day. I am a fan of the summer, I prefer it that way. Swimming in the ocean, enjoying the beaches, and all the people who come out to seek pleasure from the same meaningful reaches. I know it’s been too long since I have unleashed my passion, writing for me I do so in many schools of fashion.
Today, the way a runner may have been away from the track, or treadmill, a baseball player away from their bat. I look at my “word count” and think wow, would you look at that. I haven’t reached 500 yet, which I care not, for 1,500 could pass and notice I would not. I guess the point I’m making, to myself you’ll see. My fingers are merely stretching, as my mind wanders aimlessly.
I did wish to thank you, all readers of three. I do joke of this time and again, for who and how many are known only to me. Not even the database knows this answer, as I take to pen and paper now and again. Be it three or 3,000 my thanks are all the same. While my blogs are more about what I’m going through, or to do. It is you, I write the stories and articles for. I remind my readers, I have already read this stuff. It was from day one forward, it hit me. I have words in my head, gifted if you will, when the timing is right, onto paper they will spill. Those words are your words, from me to you.
In the same fashion as passing a message, I am given knowledge. Then like the message, let’s say Sam says to Sally. I write an article or short story, and from it my readers absorb what was intended for them. While my stories all appear to make sense as a piece to its own. There are thoughts in there, each will find it’s home.
On thought’s and homes and knowledge of such. I reviewed my notes today, almost three years old. Almost three years since I have written them I guess is the accurate truth. Notes on how, what why I could not stop the words from flowing on a cold winters eve. More than forty years have I walked this worlds surface, not once ever, having a desire to write.
Three years ago, (almost) was when I joined this fine website. I imagine some thought “oh great another nut”, while most have encouraged me to continue to do what it is I do best, with that in mind, I do my best. After only a glance at my notes from your past. Do I know with conviction, this world is not ready yet, for the knowledge, nor am I sure I can word it, in a manner that lasts?
We live in a world, that for answers we seek, often times we look outward, when inward is everything that we will ever seek. As I try not to get lost in old cliché’s and keep the unlearned from the properly learned, in two separate thoughts now. Reminds me, some habits are hard to break. Words like ‘Insight’, ‘Instinct’, ‘Extra Sensory”, are all true. Because of the nature of the Beast, I am ever careful, how I relay those subjects to you.
Of those habits, of many to break, I keep catching myself looking back, to see what the words I’m writing, the form the are to take. Then there’s the curiosity of how much editing, etc. I will have to do. I promise you this, for as crazy as it may sound. I only look for typos, and grammar errors. Things of the language to be found. As for the subject, or ‘messages’ of any sort. I do not edit those, as they are placed upon my thoughts. We share thoughts for many reasons, and if I edit my thoughts, the Beast has won. To this day, I’ve edited no information share. Not even one.
Short of correcting the use of the language, the meanings and messages will remain, as they always have. I do wonder and often muse, how does one tell Eight Billion people, ‘you’re all telepaths’.
A statement that to this day, will still bring you great grief, if not worse, as they anger the great Beast. The Universe had warned me, in a fashion many adore. What is real, what is fake, do we know anymore? The Universe will guide you, along your path, much the way God, and the Heavens do. There are Angels among us, most of us know this to be true, everyone else wastes time wishing, on something they can’t see.
How would you know and Angel from a Human at a glance after all? I don’t know either, nor would I try. I do know, put me in a room, and time given enough. I’ll know how many Angels and Demons are with us, more accurate than any guy. What does that make me? A barometer of heaven and hell? Silly thoughts, I’m sorry, I toy with them well. I’m no barometer.
I’m the guy in the baseball stadium, in the crowd, who caught that home run ball, I’ve taken it home, not to display on my wall. To tell its story one day is all I am sure. Until then, I continue to write, and learn, how and which words I must use, for many of the things in this entry alone, people were once slaughtered, for uttering their intended use.
All I can say, it’s a gift I have been given, of positive energy. To share it with a world, in dire need. The Beast is aware, and though I’m protected now, by warriors of ancient past. The Beast and its minions, seek to destroy us all, not in a fiery blast. But in a slow and miserable design, well look around you, beyond the ‘Rose colored bifocals’, for the Beast is winning on this planet called earth.
One thing it had not counted on, was One, coming here upon Birth.
Dear Princess of the Universe
Interestingly and oddly enough, as I had planned to write a short story today. I setup my station, for comfort, and ease of reaching whatever I may need. I flipped an unknown card over and on the back it read: “Take time for yourself today, write something about your life”. This Magic card also warned me, to take better care of myself, and get plenty of rest.
Of course, as the card seemingly appeared out of nowhere on my desk, it’s vanished just as dubiously. There’s no one here and I haven’t gotten up for a stretch, which I am due for. I’m proud I have written as much as I have today, only I want to write in my blog, then write a short story that must get out of my head. Someone needs it.
That ghost card, was 100% correct in its advice, and it wasn’t random advice like a fortune cookie.
It was precise and correct in what it told me to do. I haven’t slept in three days. First day was busy, next two, I lost control of my thoughts, as the woman I love but am no longer with, came to visit me. I haven’t laid eyes on her in over a year, with good reason.
However, I was guided through several unexpected tasks, by an energy is the only way I can describe. Our meeting was part of this guidance, nature made that clear to us once last night.
Without going into much detail, let’s call this beautiful creature Talia
I do not recall the exact part of the conversation, she used the word “premonition” regarding something I had said. Irony weighs in as the only “premonition” I ever had about her.
Was grim, and though she had time to possibly save herself. She ignored all warnings, advice, common sense.
She was an alcoholic, she drank straight vodka on Xanax. If you did not know this, as I and I’m sure most people don’t. Vodka/Xanax mix, is the single most lethal combination that can kill you effortlessly. You could be dying in front of your family, and not know your leaving earth in 3, 2, 1.... I believe an unexpected pregnancy bought her more time, as she appears to have stopped drinking (again).
This time, she did not escape the addictions without a price. I did tell her several years ago, my “premonition”, as I saw it. I told her many times. Hoping I would catch her on a day before she went numb. I can’t be sad for her. She self-inflicted all sorts of damage inside her body. There was a time, I was debating proposing to her. Today, she barely remembers our time together. She knows she loves me, she told me so.
Forever Talia, you will be in my heart. Should the greater powers that be, decide your purpose here on earth is complete, and set you free. You will take a small piece of me with you. I too, will be forever changed, or at least until I lose this body and become free myself. I’m already changed from your experiences and our interactions. Imagine talking to someone who is proficient at hiding they are drunk by 9:00 am.
When I tell my readers, it gets worse. It does, it gets ugly too. I needed to get that out so I can hopefully make it through my next short story I will write today. Talia, is different now, not the woman I fell in love with, yet my love for her. Permanently preserved in our history. In my mind, powered by my heart, forged onto paper. I pray for her any and every way I know how.
My premonition years ago, she will not make 50 years old. Today, she is 32. Based on facts today, I do not believe she will reach 40 years old. Not that that alone doesn’t feel like it’s killing me. Her memory loss tortures me. Though I harness every active energy field in my body, my instincts, my well-known insight, I cannot come close to how scared she is, how she must feel. Though I support her with my love, I care for her.
She’s beginning to distance herself. I think, she thinks, I don’t know how bad things are for her. The reality is, I know, I know more than she thinks I do, and I am fully aware of how bad her insides are. I understand the distance too. Animals do something similar when they know, they are dying. I share this, in hopes, anyone debating going that extra mile, taking extra steps, to help their loved ones in any similar situation.
At the first sign. Be vigilant, use intervention, seek professional guidance if you’re a friend. Wage war on behalf of your loved ones. Because they can’t. In this situation, the illness has a side effect, of creating false realities. They don’t even know which memories they possess are even real or not.
Oh my friend, if I could, I would take the pain upon my body to make you pain free.
I’m not giving up my life though. I may not fully know my purpose yet, I have clues, signs, etc.
The greater powers that be, will not be done with me for many years. I know that too.
Because I listen, I avoid false signs or signs I really want to fit my current situation.
I asked her once, if she believed in Magic. She said no. That’s a shame.
Magic is everywhere, in every square inch of our lives. Most of us are simply unaware, and don’t bother to learn. Seems humanity either “knows everything”, or will condemn you and label you “crazy” just for uttering such things.
I’ll do my homework, as I have always done in my adult life and business world.
After all, Knowledge is power, using that power, is an Action.
Dumb fucks used to burn women and men tied to poles called stakes, on bundles of wood.
As they chanted Die Witch, Die Warlock……
The Manuscript ~ The lessons ~ The steam
As I learn more about this “Blog” stuff, I prefer my method. Plain text! I say that because I’ve seen Blogs that look like websites (even though by ‘definition’ a Blog is a regularly updated website or webpage). I have hosted a small variety of websites over the years, mostly community ones, updated every day. Never knew anything about a “Blog”….
That is not why I am here though, unleashing random steam, or thoughts. I haven’t written in a while, I’m not completely sure why. I do have a lot going on in my life, still, I could force smaller pieces of time so I could write. I feel that affects the quality of my work, and my learning as well. I know, not writing for long periods and throwing out randomness is not helpful to my efforts either.
Why am I am here, blogging at the moment, I needed to let the words out of course. Many built up now from far and near. New thoughts present with those that still exist. It’s like my mind is doing the tango, or is it the twist? I had a manuscript stolen recently, my first actually. It wasn’t finished, only several chapters in. It was my first novel in creation, one I’m sure will win.
Lucky for me though the pages are lost, my memory still recalls the sights, scenes and sounds of that place that is so dear. That in and of itself would be a short story, what happened to draft number one. This is why I’m here blogging, I have a little time to write. This form of relief helps me decide which path is right.
I have a confession, I have been thinking about someone. More than I should, our paths crossed yes, in a manner forced by human nature. Not Mother Nature. My best analogy would be thinking about a coworker. We don’t work together, we are working on a project together. I know there’s that “if it’s meant to be it will be” path. Still, I find my mind wandering time and again, of an equal Spirit.
Equal meaning alike, the same in most manners. What will be will be, if it is or is not, we shall see. It was and still is refreshing to feel the sense of another’s soul, and it’s feeling is of kind. With that in mind I breath a sigh of relief. I’ve let it out, a thought that can not seem to escape, a welcoming mind.
On to the ’ important’ stuff; My email here reminds me to update my blog, almost every day. Takes me a few minutes to delete months’ worth of repeat emails “Update your blog!” I should remember to look for that setting sometime…. With being busy comes many distractions, I would enjoy nothing more than writing to support myself, I’m not there yet. I’m also distracted, There are many things pulling on me all at once. Something positive, I’m going to the west coast in a few weeks. I’ll see the Pacific Ocean for the first time. I’m looking forward to that.
I’ll be out there for a month, on business mixed with a little pleasure I am sure. That is one of my newer positive distractions as it is still weeks away, a most welcome event. Maybe next time I’ll write about my first time flying a remote control drone with HD camera onboard. It didn’t go as I thought it would.
Still reluctant to write, I am uncovering the reasons why. Aside from procrastination and my current living environment. I have come to realize that Karma has had an influence in recent years. You see in wanting the dream so badly, I could not see things for what they were. For over three years, I was in love with and in a relationship with a narcissist. To this day, I am still suffering the effects of her “vengeance”.
You see, when you are involved with a narcissist, you don’t have to do anything wrong. You can be the most loyal friend and love them ‘till the end of time. None of which matters. I’ll not go into the illness itself, rather I wish to write and like a tornado, my thoughts are swirling about today. I feel writing is the only way to relieve this feeling.
As much as I wish to finish my manuscripts, I am in no rush. I will not rush my work, nor write something I plan to publish mainstream without it being precisely how I intended it to be. So I’ll spend a short time in my Blog, besides, who reads this junk anyway. For me it’s like opening a valve and letting the steam out to relieve pressure.
My writing times and location are far from ideal. The one good thing in my life besides my children are all healthy. The one good thing for me personally, is my “day job” well actually I work third shift right now which I don’t mind at all. Work is going well. You see work makes me feel sane. Sometimes when I tell people an idea or a thought I have. It tends to go one of two ways. They either look at me like I just escaped or belong in an asylum. Or they are enthralled by my words and crave more.
I know the differences and I know why, I do not care to go into that now either. Just the tapping of the keys and the sound of piano music in the background is soothing me. That’s all I wanted. To relax and find relief. Of my few sanctuaries, this is one of them. Writing, much in the way a reader, be it my own or any reader dives into a story and gets lost or finds themselves in another place and or time. Writing has that effect on me.
I am working on my talent or skill, focus being the most important as of late. Also punctuation, grammar, writing in general. Many people have reviewed my writings and have told me they are positive, inspiring and many other great things that encourage me to write on. I am learning about positive and negative energy fields. I feel as though I am in a negative energy field now, however being a source of great positive energy, I push forward knowing what I am capable of…to an extent.
Today is one of many tough days, as I started out saying, protecting myself from a narcissist is something I never saw coming into my life. They say love is blind, “they” being the people who have they themselves once at some point been blinded by it. I suppose it is true, love is blind. I have allowed myself to be placed in dangerous situations, of course in the back of my mind wondering why. Not really caring though as another day with my love was like a wish from the Gods had been granted again and again.
It wasn’t until she got what she wanted from me, then left. At the time I hadn’t realized she’d done me a great service by leaving. Her wrath of self-imposed “revenge” I could do without. I learned a lot from that experience. Though I see the light coming closer and closer, my desire to look back and wonder how, why? What could have been? Is dwindling.
Today, I am thankful to God, the Universe and every molecule of positive energy that hears me and helps me through times like this. I think I am going to stop here for today. I feel better as though I have been relieved of some pressure or weight. I will write again soon, I will get back to my manuscripts as soon as I am ready. If you read this. Thank you. Maybe you picked up something you needed to know or learn. Or just needed to lose track of time if even only for a few moments.
Good day to all.
|Good day reader,
For starters, I don’t feel much like writing today. That describes most days lately. It could indicate why I feel so out of balance as well. All these thoughts and emotions trapped in my head, with nothing, not a word even said.
I surely can’t work on my stories or manuscripts, not feeling this way. Thus being the case, my blog wins out. I haven’t written in it in a while anyway, one could say I am certainly overdue. New time restraints mixed in with old issues I’m working through. I just haven’t had the strength to write. As I’ve written once or twice I’m sure, sometimes I can’t control the writing and it must come out.
Well, Today “Tracy” suggested I do some writing, a note, a journal entry. Anything. She was right, I needed this to free up some space, like cleaning out my hard drive….I admit as tired as I feel and physically and mentally drained. This is the best thing I’ve done all day. Scribble some words down. Think of it as stretching if I were a gymnast.
There have just been a lot of personal changes going on in my life, some days overwhelming, other days I find peace and hold onto it for as long as I can. In this economy, if I could keep my paying job stabilized, I would be able to develop a writing schedule. I know, sounds like procrastination, and it most likely is.
Oh and to my Characters, I am sorry I haven’t been in to visit, I assure you we will make up for lost time soon enough. As I said, there’s much going on in my little portion of the world. Things I’d rather not jump into at the moment. I’ll just tap the keys a little bit more, then peruse the web site and maybe create something short, something fun.
If you did read this my reader. :)
I hope your having a good day.
Maybe one of those good luck days. =P