A collection of thoughts and ideas
You have found my collection of ideas and thoughts.
Who knows there might even be an article or two hidden in here.
|Unlike many I have known both true love and a zombie.
My first husband was in a car accident and refused to get proper medical treatment for his injuries. So, a month and 3 days after the accident his spleen ruptured. He was at work at the time it took him 2 hours to get home. He had planned to pick me us breakfast but as he waited for good to come out his coffee felt to hot in his stomach. He paid for his coffee came home and fought to keep going trough the seazers he was having. I recognize the seazer and raced to call the ambulance then back to his side. It was painful to watch each seazer but I was doing my best to be there for him in his time of need. We where such a little place that I had to step outside so the medics could check him out. He did one last thing for me he got up and walked over to the gurny so they could load it into the amblance. Once out of my sight in the amblance he give into the seazers and passed away.
To day was his birthday. All I have been doing was reliving our days together.
| know its early but with this past year I thought I would put up my goal for next year. It might take a full year or just a few months.
There might be a chance for a personal interest as well. Though that depends on both sides.
As for my son, with the prayer he will be back in school come the 19th. One of his classes is for students that are having issues with learning out of class. Though I think his is more the lack of social interaction.
|8 years ago December 22 I made my account on wdc. 3 years later I end up in contact with my brother just to find out his b-day is the day before.(Long story short I grew up knowing I had a brother we were just raised by different parents. Him by his father and me by our mother. So, I never really committed to memory his b-day for the longest time.) Now I have two great days to celebrate along with the holiday season.
|I've come to the conclusion that I'm in a hole. Not just any hole but a good deep one. The funny thing is that this year has thrown so much at me that it feels like others are trying to berry me. Yet, each shovel full of grief ends up being a little bit more of fill to the hole as I shift to keep from getting hit i end up climbing up the fill and together we end filling in this hole and possibly me walking out on top.
|It feels like I'm hanging on the side of a cliff. The gear I have placed hanging tight into the rock. Though in some places the Rock is showing its age. It feels like I have ran out of gear and hanging there waiting for others to come help me out.
Then again its not easy handling a death on your own. Everyone keeps being surprised by how well it looks like am handling it. When really I'm falling apart. But I know outside it looks like I'm handling it. But not really have things I need to do and sadly I have too.
|Well it's all in storage till I get the paperwork on the next step. The frustration is that my mail man decided that my box was vacant. So emptied my ox and put a tag up saying vacant.
Just one more thing to add to my world. So I get to let my boss know I need to clock in late so j can deal with all of this.
But I made it home and brought my fathers cat with me.
|Thank you my friend. I do tend to undercut myself when talking because I write how I am feeling. I tend to keep going even when I should give up simply because for me it's easier to keep going. This blog and the comments of my friends shows how far and strong I am even if I dont show or feel it.
Comments have helped push aside thoughts. Actions have at times drugged me past frustrations. One could say thanks to my stubbornness and this wonderful community I keep going.
Thank you friends and family. Your words at time have been the spark I needed to keep going.
|So little time to do so much. Not sure how I'm going to get this all done in the little bit of time I have left in the town my dad lived in.i figure I get the stuff taken care of, not counting furniture.
One rig I dont know what to do with while the other is going into storage till spring. Where I am storing my dad's bike is willing to help me sell it.
With all going on I hope I get this all straightened out.