As the first blog entry got exhausted. My second book
|Evolution of Love Part 2|
|*EK THA COLONEL*
1. Following is a true story. It is about a relative who retired as Col from infantry regiment in 2005.
2. He started making a house in 2003 on a huda plot which he had got alloted in 90 s. I advised him to make a house in Gurgaon . He said his village is in Rohtak and mother is also there so he will not want to go
3. I still persisted with my advise and told him he already has an ancestral house in proper Rohtak and he should renovate it and spend the retirement benefit n savings n sell huda plot in rohtak and buy in Gurgaon.
4. Our man gave me a lecture on sanskaar , mother , good son , friend circle etc. He made a nice big house. The entrance door is huge and is of carved solid wood costing 2 lakhs at that time.
5. Lavish muharat was done in which i had also gone. All relatives were called. All sisters were given gifts. There was a great sense of achievement in his eyes. He said to me that Thank God i didnot listen to your advise. See all relatives and friends have come here. Who would come in Gurgaon. Life is not about money. Its about friends. Since my father is also retd Col from Punjab regiment i have learnt never to argue with infantarians when they become emotional. Specially about people around them.
6. Carrying forward the story Col sahab ka son a captain in army gets married in 2005. And the daughter got admission in SRCC Delhi in 2005. Now the girl shifted to awwa hostel opposited subroto park. The parents used to commute almost every weekend for 3 years to delhi.
7. Captain sahab did a stint in field and wife who was a mba had to stay with in laws in Rohtak. Taking care of in laws off course with standard khit pit. She also got into family way and had a troubled pregnancy. The delivery was scheduled for R and R delhi.
8. For full 2 months the entire family had to be in delhi. Relatives house , officer mess , transit acc n even hotels. This was the first time when col sahab wife ,the Memsaab said why didnt u make a house in Gurgaon.
9. Fast forward 2009 the daughter in law went to husband. And the daughter landed a good job with deloitte . Salary was 30 k. Flat was being shared with another girl in a secured society. Col sahab gifted a car to daughter. Flat rent was 7k (her share). Maid who made food 2k. Petrol n car maintenance 2k. Clothes 3k. Going out, milk, electricity, phone, eating out etc all in all they had to give her 5 k a month for working in gurgaon. And every weekend trip where the caring mother would get desi ghee n stuff fridge with fruits (which the maid would eat .this discovered by memsaab when she stayed for a night).
10. The daughter was getting very dubli. The memsaab was worried. This was second time she told the col sahab why didnt u settle here in Gurgaon.
11. 2012 the girl gets married to a nice IIT boy from uttarakhand earning really well. The couple shifts to a rented 2 bhk flat on golf course in a plush society close to their offices. The boy is from a humble family and has his own liabilities hence the couple were not able to go for a flat of their own. Plus realty was really expensive in 2013.
12. In 2014 the daughter delivery comes. The memsaab shifts to couple flat. Saas cant come or doesnt want to come as she has own daughter also i dont know exactly. But moti baat Col saab is alone now at rohtak.
13. Col saab mother left to heaven in 2011. His friends have started staying with their kids in various places. When he asked them why they r going their reply was bhai u kept roaming country. Hum toh 40 saal se yahan rohtak main puk gaye hain.now is the time for us to see world.
14. Daughter package had gone to 24 lakh by 2015. She had to quickly get to work. But with small baby it was not possible. In steps the memsaab. In India still we trust kids to naani than to nanny.
15. Col saab protested to memsaab. Why dadi is not coming? This was the third time memsaab asked him why didnt u settle in Gurgaon?
16. Col saab himself couldnt stay in Gurgaon much. Remember 2 bhk flat. Husband wife 1 room. nani n 2 yr kid in another.
17. Also remember no damaad or bahu likes their father in law in their house. Mark this line. Nana n dada are ATM .5 min of requirement.no body wants them in house. So when kid is born.come see.give money n vanish. Mother in law r welcome as they will be of benefit.maid se kaam toh karwa hi lengi. And like live cctv which can give chappat also if required.
18. In fact the situation is quid pro quo here. The memsaab is also happy at Gurgaon. All her circle of friends n relatives is in delhi n gurgaon. Daamadji weekend par uber ola kar ke unhe sab se milne ka mauka dete hain.
19. Memsaab likes the happening affluent society also. She teaches pranayaam to people in morning n is popular amongst ladies. Great oppurtunities for shopping.
20. Now 2016 The son has also become a col. Commanding a unit up north. His family now in carriapa vihar delhi cantt. Now nani has to do dadi role also as the daughter in law has picked up a job. The apna old col saab can still not stay in carriapa vihar as again flat small. 2 kids. daughter in law n memsaab. all 4 beds occupied. so for a night when he comes he sleeps in drawing room. Seeing him sleep on a cotton mattress in drawing was the fourth time memsaab asked why didnt u settle here.
21. 2018 the son hands over command and gets posted to Delhi. Now after many years i meet the col saab. He says all his family is in gurgaon. Both son n daughter families meet on weekend n he only gets to see them on whatsapp video call.
22. He said he wanted to sell rohtak house but all he was getting is plot rate as house constructed is ground floor with a garden. Nobody wants garden now.people want stilt parking.lift n 4 floors. So any one buying will have to break n make new one. Remember the 2 lakh door.so construction cost sunk to zero.
23. Truly speaking when I had advised him to make a house in Gurgaon even i had not imagined that this is how it will play out.And rohtak is 80 km away.But still see how the story played out.
24. 2019 finally i have got there ancestral house sold. The 2 lakh door one is a beautiful house. Mann nahi karta usko bikwane ka. Have got it rented out to a company as guest house. Have got col sahab a 2 bhk flat on rent in same society as daughter. N daughter in law has moved into same society as son col saab will go to field. And maybe retire after that.
25. Col saab takes care of 3 kids when all 3 ladies go out for shopping.every body gets to sleep in their flats yet be 1 min away from.each other. Daughter in law can wear any type of clothes in her flat no privacy issues.
Damaad n sasur meet only on drinks once a week. Whole family is thankful to me. N i am happy for them n on my advise all 3 couples have booked 3 two bhk in plush project on dwarka expressway on same floor. See its 2 bhk n not 3 bhk.
Change the places .Some of you may be in this situation or likely to get into. Remember kids will never stay or do job in
Rohtak meerut mohali shimla zirakpur jabalpur agra kanpur jalandhar ludhiana satara jammu munger arah balia muzaffarnagar hisar bhiwani jhansi mhow nainital haldwani dehradun etc. Have a settlement in your ancestral place. But have jugaad in your
Gurgaon hyderabad bangalore pune delhi ahemadabad jaipur cochin chennai. Else loneliness because of your egoistic attitude n stupidity is painful.
1. Having a house and settling there are 2 different things. Please understand this.
2. There is nothing like settling or final settlement. The final settlement is when you leave finally.
3. Friends n relatives are not important. They can do without you and you can do without them.Its family which is important. Dont be selfish.
4. If you have seperate kitchens then yes saas bahu can co exist happily in same tower.
5. Living with grandchildren and watch them grow is a joy. Create conditions for that.
6. Today s time ur bahu n daughter will work. N will require support. But remember point 17 above also.
7. If you do not have foresight than budhapa kharab hona is certain for the man.Nobody likes a old man in their own house who will ask tea 5 times a day.even if his pension is 1 lakh.
8. Family can grow financially n emotionally if they stay close. Children having grandparents around whose patience levels are more will do well
9. In today challenging times where couple working lot of enjoyment gets compromised.stress is more. Marriages are breaking.
10. A simple thing where children go to grand parents next door for a night or after noon can give young couple something to look forward.
11. Groceries, maids, drivers etc can be shared optimising resources.
12. The young couple can travel leaving kids to grandparents next door without compromising school. If you can indirectly make your kids married life good isnt it a great achievement. Who likes to see their children getting divorced. Divorces are on rise. And parents watch helplessly from their small towns this nazaara. Couples need some me time. And grandparents in close vicinity can help.
13. Buy when still something can be bought in budget. 2bhk if not 3bhk. Dont fret about pollution. Pollution is for those who cant afford to stay in big cities. Go away for that 1 month.
No city in world including new york which doesnt face any issue for a month in a year.be it snow or rain. N things are getting better.
14. And last remember children when they do jobs will have limited leave . They wont come to you. Acchi jagah jayenge. U wont be able to.come to them because they will stay in small flats.
|*TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR AGEING WITH GRACE :*
*1. Live in your own place to enjoy independence & privacy.*
*2. Hold on to your bank deposits and assets with yourself.*
*3. Don't depend only on your children's promise to care for you* (their priorities will change with time)
*4. Expand your circle of friends to include those who will outlive you.*
*5. Do not compare and expect nothing from others.*
*6. Do not interfere with the lives of your children.* (Let them live THEIR life not YOURS)
*7. Do not use old age as your shield and justification to demand care, respect and attention.*
*8. Listen to what others say but think and act independently*
*9. Pray, but do not beg, even from God. If at all, ask for His forgiveness.*
*10. TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR OWN HEALTH.* ( Eat healthy-stay fit)
Remember, You may
RETIRE from work but NOT from life
*You are not ALIVE, unless and until you start LIVING !!!*
*HAPPY LIVING* 👍
|THE SELF WITHIN WAITS FOR YOU
D: You often say, ' the whole world exists not without you, everything depends upon you,' what is there without you? ' etc. is there without you? ' etc.
This is really baffling. The world was there before my birth. It will be there after my death even as it has survived the deaths of so many who once lived as I am living now.
M. Did I ever say that the world is there because of you? But I have put to you the question 'what is there without your Self?' You must know that by the
Self the body, subtle or gross, was not meant.
Besides, the idea is put to you that if you once know the Self in which all the ideas move, not excluding the idea of yourself, of others like yourself and of the world, you can realize the truth that there is a Reality, a supreme Truth which is the Self of all the world you now see, the Self of all the selves, the one Real, which is the Parama Atman, the supreme Eternal as distinguished from the Jiva, the ego-self which is impermanent.
You must not mistake the ego-self or the bodily idea for the Atman.
|*"Modi destroying termite ridden old Banyan tree"*
*Mark Tully the BBC correspondent for India for many decades writes about changes happening in MODI'S regime.*
*In his Book "No Full Stops in India," while discussing about change writes -*
*In India change takes a lot more time.The birth will be slow and perhaps painful.* *I believe it could be the* *birth of a new order* *which is not held up by the crumbling colonial pillars left behind by the Raj but is* *GENUINELY Indian* ; *a GC modern order, but ''not a slavish imitation* *of other modern orders”.*
*He goes on to say that* – *“For all its great achievements, the* *Nehru dynasty* *has stood like a Banyan tree, overshadowing the people and the institutions of India, and all Indians know that nothing grows under the Banyan tree”.*
*As Mark said , Change will be slow and painful, therefore for someone who doesn’t read and makes judgement based on perception will for quite some time not be able to see the change taking place or will pretend as if nothing is changing.*
*The way changes are coming in* *Railways, Power sector, Defense Production and in governance* *and at the same time accompanied by the* *resentment of the old forces* *indicate that the process of change has begun albeit slowly but firmly and is going to be painful.*
*Let us not undermine the capabilities of this termite ridden old Banyan tree which will still try its best to stop any one growing to the extent that it may even turn the soil upside down before falling down.*
*For a year or so we may witness more of Dadris, more of Kaniyahas, more of Owaisi style shouting but finally if the* *Society keeps its cool, acts maturely* *and continues to perform we will sail through and the old forces will die a natural death.*
*LET ME ADD to this - every day the new stir media throws in your face is all doctored by* *forces who wish to topple Modi Govt as Modi has uprooted them* *and they are like fish out of the water.*
*The time has come to continue to support the man and keep your faith intact and we will see new India for sure - bigger, better, stronger, corruption free , peaceful , prosperous than ever before with people having better quality of life..*
|Ma does not often give orders, and probably only to those who by intuition, discrimination and experience have established in themselves implicit faith in Her in Her unfailing wisdom. But when She does command, obedience without asking for reasons is the only way. Together with the task She sets, Ma transmits the power to carry it out. But often it is not easy to do so. It is a common experience that to obey Ma’s orders quickens intelligence and develops initiative. It requires great vigilance and concentration in fact it is as if ingeniously calculated to draw out to the utmost one’s capacity, courage, forbearance and power of endurance, as well as to bring to the surface one’s weaknesses and shortcomings, so that they may be eradicated.
“ 10 toffees for 1 rupee” and
“1 toffee for 10 rupees”,
we grew up!
“Ground mai aaja” and
we grew up!
“stealing chocolate from our sister” and “Buying chocolate for her children”,
we grew up!
“Just five more mins Maa” and “Pressing the snooze button”,
we grew up!
“Crying out loud just to get what we want” and
“Holding our tears when we are broken inside”,
we grew up!
“I want to grow up” and
“I want to be a child again”,
we grew up!
“Lets meet and plan” and
“Lets plan and meet”,
we grew up!
"Being afraid of our parents"
"Praying for our parents" we finally grew up
And as we grew up, we realize;
*How silently, our lives have changed.......*😊😊
|WHAT CAN I DO TO PROGRESS RAPIDLY ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH?
Let your heart be pure (open your heart and allow God to purify you)...🌸
Do not act outwardly what you are not inwardly...
Be absolutely honest... as God is complete honesty...🙏
Don't pose as being spiritual, because God is everywhere and cannot be fooled... 🕉
When you are truly spiritual (in a high state of spiritual consciousness) your thoughts, actions and presence will be selfless, natural and spontaneously loving... 🕊
you will not have to try to be or become something...
This is more important than mechanically practicing kriya's... ❤
|A bank is a broker between the middle class and the rich.
The only place where the two meet is in a bank.
The middle class brings the money, through saving, and the rich takes it, through borrowing.
A middle class person saves the money because they have more money than their thinking capacity.
So they keep the money in the bank so they can go and think what to do with the money they saved.
On the other side, the rich people come to pick that money, through borrowing, because they have more ideas than the money they have.
On a practical side, please show me one billionaire who got rich through saving and I will show you a million Indians who have money saved in the banks and are still renting the houses that the Millionaires and billionaires build through the middle class people savings which the rich borrowed from a bank.
|The parents of a girl suffering from paralysis approached Mother for a cure, Mother asked the girl to roll on the floor. The girl could not move at all; she could not even turn round. Mother was clipping betel-nuts into tiny pieces for the worship of a deity. A few pieces were thrown at the girl and she was asked to stretch out her hand and catch them. With great difficult she could catch some. After that the family left. At her home the girl was laying in bed. On the following afternoon she heard the rumbling noise of a passing car; she suddenly jumped out of bed and ran towards it. Thereafter she gradually began to move about.
One day a carriage was driving along the road across the Ramna grounds. Mother asked me to hire it. She got into it. The coachman enquired, “Where would you go?“ “To your own house”, was Mother’s prompt reply. Without saying a single word, he drove to his home. On arriving there, it was found that an old man was about to die; by his side his relations were weeping. Mother asked me to bring some sweets which were distributed amongst the people present and She came away. We learnt subsequently that the old man had recovered.
Mother had other ways as well to give relief to sufferers. She would ask a person in distress to use anything he could lay his hands on, at dusk, shutting his eyes. By using such articles he was found to recover. Sometimes She would ask a patient to eat the food prepared for Her and She would Herself eat the sick-diet intended for him. In cases of fever or serious bowel-complaints, patients following Mother’s directions, ate food not considered beneficial by physicians, with the result that they were restored to their former health in no time.
When my son was fifteen or sixteen years old he was suffering from dysentery for about ten or twelve days. Mother came to see him one night. From that night he began to recover but Mother had dysentery for a few days.
It has also been found, if any patient was destined not to come round, he would either willfully violate Mother’s directions or fail, by the pressure of circumstances, to follow them. In these cases the final outcome could be foreseen from Mother’s ways. The Hindu shastras enjoin that the results of our past actions in this birth or of those done during our previous births, can only be neutralized by steady good work in this life with the help of Divine Grace; but work that calls forth divine intervention is very difficult to perform, unless some saint out of compassion volunatrily aids such efforts.
Mother says,—”As long as you see this objective world, creation exists for you. There is conflict so long as the notions of you and I, happiness and misery, light and darkness, prevail. Consider yourself an integral part of Nature and let there be stress on Nature’s work or on Her Laws of work instead of on your own self as the embodiment of your sense perceptions. Then all your senses will be quiescent and your inner being will gradually awaken; the problem of the self and of creation will be solved. Then all your wants will vanish, the impact of life’s basic urges will gradually wear off like a smoke screen at the first breath of wind, your soul will resume its full glory like the morning sun and the time will arrive for you to fix your eyes upon the Supreme Being.
In Mother’s early life, opportunities for Her education were rather meagre, neither did She pay much attention to it. But it was surprising to find that the examiners would ask Her questions from only those topics which She had glanced over beforehand. For this reason She was looked upon as a bright pupil in the class. From Her girlhood She did not, of Her own accord, read any book ;nor did She practice handwriting. Still the groundwork of Her -knowledge appeared to be quite sound. Whatever She studied She could master thoroughly.
One day Mother enquired, “What is Italy?“ A few days later an Italian Professor named Tucci came to Mother at Shah-bag. He had come to visit the University of Dhaka He asked a question in English and it was to be translated into Bengali for Her, but before this could be done She gave the proper answer in Sanskrit.
We prayed to Her several times to give us a specimen of Her handwriting in Bengali. She said, “I don’t write anything with any purpose in view. When the time comes, you may get it.”
Fortunately some 22 years back on the 4th of Ashad, 1337 (Bengali Era), we did receive a specimen.
(English translation :—“O thou Supreme Being thou art manifest in all forms—this universe with all created things, wife, husband, father, mother and children, all in one. Man’s mind is clouded by worldly ties. But there is no cause for despair. With purity, unflinching faith and burning eagerness go ahead and you will realise your true Self.”
There are many photographs of Mother; their number may be not less than 1,000. But what is surprising is that no two are alike. Sri. Subodh Chandra Dasgupta of Dhaka, and Sri. Shashi Bhushan Dasgupta of Chittagong amongst many other photographers took many snapshots. In October 1926 Shashi Babu came to Dhaka during the Durga Puja celebrations and some of us went to Shah-bag together to take a photograph of Mother early in the morning.
On reaching there we found that nobody knew where Mother was. At last we discovered that She lay in a state of samadhi inside a dark room. It had been arranged that Shashi Babu would leave Dhaka the same afternoon. He was therefore very anxious to take a snapshot of Mother that very morning. Pitaji was specially requested to approach Mother for permission.
He, himself with my help brought Mother out and seated Her for an exposure and we withdrew from the range of the camera. Mother was still in a state of self-absorption with Her body and limbs slack. Suspecting that She might have moved during the exposures, Shashi Babu used eighteen plates. He then left for Chittagong. Subsequently he wrote to say that of the eighteen plates only the last one produced a good portrait which contained a moon-like ball of light on Her forehead, and what was stranger still, my figure appeared behind Mother’s. An extract from Shashi Babu’s letter written to me long after, is given below.
Shashi Babu’s letter ran thus :-“When Mother’s photograph was being taken I loaded six plates at a time and in three shifts eighteen plates were exposed. In the first few plates there were no impressions, only a ball of light covered each plate. The next few plates showed some hazy outlines; it was only on the last plate that the figure of Mother came out in full relief. You were far away beyond the range of the camera and on one side. From there you gave me the signal for giving the exposure. From the very outset I was feeling nervous when taking the exposures, as I had a dim suspicion that things were not all right, which caused me much pain. When the last plate was exposed, I felt a flood of joy filling my heart. At that time I just began to approach Mother’s feet as my only refuge. During those days an incident like the one mentioned above almost overwhelmed me (the letter was dated 5.5.37).
When the photograph was received at Dhaka people suspected some trick of the photographer in developing it.
|This was a crucial day in my life, my father an ex-serviceman and admitted in an emergency state is a multispeciality hospital suspected with brain fever. My father had an echs card ( health insurance card issued to ex-servicemen once they retire from active duty). He is frail with arthritis and glaucoma of eyes with dementia a 79 years old and now admitted 3 days ago with high fever and doctors are reluctant to start the treatment.
I was indeed worried as I was the culprit in his losing the echs card in the first place. This happened a year ago and due to troublesome documentation to get a replacement card, I delayed getting a duplicate card made. We deposited 2k dollars on day one and approached the army authorities for duplicate card proceedings, and a surprise awaited us, a critical document that was overlooked 20 years ago when the original card was made became mandatory and there was no way we could get a duplicate card. With desperation, we approached the head of echs card department, and he was a busy person gave us an appointment on the said date.
On this date, I had to make an appearance to the court as there was a case. The court started at 10 am and I had an appointment with army official at 12pm. The hospital had exhausted the 2k dollar limit and was demanding and additional 4k dollars or a temporary card with approval from echs clinic doctor for the empanelled hospital. My father was admitted in an empanelled hospital.
The challenge I faced was time management as the echs clinic, the hospital my father was admitted and head office of echs was in a distance of 5 miles to each other and the district court was 5 miles away from the hospital. The advocate representing my case was not paid for the previous appearance and today was one of the judgement days. As per the previous 15 hearings, the judge deliberates and gives a new date within a span of 10 mins, as our case by default remained the first case in his itinerary.
I reached the court on time and the judge came at 10 am and lo to my surprise the previous days hearing were pending. This rare event happened due to declaration of the holiday at the last moment and previous days case were all deliberated, now the people who missed out on the eve of holidays were not present at 10 am hence the proceedings were going at a rapid pace. There were 80 cases of previous days and following a sequential calling the whole process took 90 mins. My case and subsequent date for final settlement due to non-appearance of the complainant were announced and the advocate could feel that the presence will be a formality on the next hearing. My heart was beating fast as my brother was calling me, again and again, to reach head of echs card by 12 pm and the advocates insistence to clear his lumpsum due, they clashed and I showed the advocate my brothers repeated call and my need to be at a different location in a short passage of time fell in the deaf ears of the advocate and he grabbed my phone and went his way.
Now I was perplexed and in desperation took my drivers phone and called my brother about my commitment to reach the head of echs card department, and updated him with my new but temporary number. I told him to reschedule the appointment for 12.30 pm and I was able to reach at 12.30 pm. The official was warm and cooperative and immediately assigned an experienced and technical person to oversee my father submission of duplicate card. As the process was online and critical document was managed and he was able to submit the form successfully. My father's temporary card was made, now I had to rush to the clinic to get it attested by a doctor at the clinic and issued an admission approval form from the clinic by 2.30 pm.
The hospital administrator and billing team were in for a shock as they never expected the outcome. They finally accepted the documents by 5 pm and thus dropped the insistence for an additional security deposit. My father remained in best of hands for the next 5 days and bill crossed 4k dollars. Now temporary ECHS card was there to ensure my father gets the best of treatment.