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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/notebook/inkerod
Please follow an ASR rating.*
I've just edited an item in my portfolio:
 A Trip to the Galleria  (ASR)
Two young men look for romance in a shopping mall.
I've just edited an item in my portfolio, and I still have questions about this poem. Sometimes when I read this poem it sounds good to me. Other times, not so much. It is definitely heavy and ponderous, so if you're not in a mood to be serious I wouldn't read it.
There are positive elements to your poem in that it rhymes, flows well and tells a story. Its power is in the words themselves and I saw little imagery, or that it would reward a second or third read. In short, it is typical of much of the poetry on W.com.
I just read your bio. It's never to late to aspire to what you want. I just saw a story on the news the other day about a writer who published her first novel at age 70. You go! *Smile*
Hi tpaulter ,

I like your poems, "The Hummingbird and "How Lucky They Are. I also read "A Trip to the Galleria and when I was going to post here in your notebook to tell you I enjoyed reading your work, I saw that you want a formal review of "A Trip to the Galleria. So I'll do one on the review page.

everyjones
I would like a well considered review of my short stories, "A Trip to the Galleria" and "Manchild Rebooted". Be honest. What works, what doesn't.
Happy 5th WdC Anniversary!

*Confettigr**Confettio**Confettip* Congratulations! *Confettibr* *Confettig**Confettir*

For your promotion to "Preferred Author"

Your case looks great in YELLOW!

Warmest regards,

Sisco. *Heart*
Obama reelected ! Why?
Well, he inherited an economic crisis he did not create. He got the economy back growing again. The Dow Jones Industrial average was at 8,000 when he came into office. Now it is nearly 18,000. (There was a correction in the market, but that will be short lived.) For the past eight months we've had job growth of over 200,000 per month. Also, Obama inherited two wars he didn't start.
My older brother is such an intellectual snob. He is horrified that I like watching "The Twilight Zone". I make allowances for the shortcomings of the stories they present. Part of the appeal of that show is that much of it is rudimentary. He always was very uptight about me being "cool".
Hey ... The Twilight Zone is cool!! My partner Patrick introduced me to the series recently, and I'm loving the shows. *Bigsmile* *Alieng*
How can anyone not like Twilight!? *Shock*
Guess that means your brother doesn't like Fringe either.
Well, you can keep it as your dirty secret and don't tell him when you watch. Then you'll meet his criteria for "cool". *Cool* LOL.
Hey, your brother is not cool *Laugh* I even wrote blog entry about Twilight Zone last year. It was for Jeff's blog contest. I loved that serial!
"The Twilight Zone
*Balloony* Congratulations ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is a great day for you! *Balloony*

Welcome to the club!
Don't forget to wear your new club "jacket."

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You're yellow! Congratulations! *Bigsmile*

*Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony* *Balloony*
Thank you! I'm always glad for help with my writing.
Congrats on being promoted to yellow! Its a wonderful feeling and color, isn't it? Welcome to the group!