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Please follow an 18+ rating.*
Write what you know, especially when writing what you don't.

Like all the rest, I don't know a thing about power swords, how it feels to find them, or what kind of spell you would use to reduce one to dust. But I do know about threats, and suggestions, and various levels of self respect.

The resulting fantasy may be disarmingly childish, but the themes are relevant. For those kind enough to check it out, I wonder how artfully I have stitched my knowledge into this little piece

 A Medal for Sven  (13+)
When a little girl teaches Sven three magical words--how many are saved?
#2252502 by Joto-Kai
Well, on today's issue of I thought I fixed my plot:

My protagonist didn't care that with every misadventure--no matter how brilliantly handled--his nemesis and previous compadre was getting closer to doing his nasty work all over this helpless dystopian lost colony.

He. Just. Didn't. Care.

And neither did I, to be honest.

Until I figured out the real lifeblood of the conflict. You see, he only wanted to save the colony because he was raised right. But the cost was too high--for he dearly loved and admired the antagonist, who should be at the head of this rebellion.

And who would be erased the very moment that he even issued the ultimatum.

I cried for three days when I realized that he had to choose between honoring and protecting the man.

So I believed that I had found the emotional motherlode in the book. But did I fix the book? Sadly, not just yet--because he can always let the bad guys win. After all, it's not so bad--this colony IS a dumpster fire and would be a lot better off if he DID bring them back under Terran rule, wouldn't it? *Facepalm*
As useful as item ratings are, they are a bit blunt and broad. Conversely, trigger warnings are razor sharp in specificity, but they can deliver spoilers. Fortunately, with the use of a drop note labeled Trigger Warnings, one can easily have the best of both worlds. In fact, you will by so doing protect people who don't want to see your content and simultaneously attract people who need darker, more stimulating stories.

Trigger Warnings

To see it used in my work, I have some warning content in
 A Girl like You  (13+)
Careful whom you take as your fairy godmother.
#2204146 by Joto-Kai
. Check it out. I welcome regular reviews as well as comments on my warnings. I am new to this, so am not entirely sure whether I have listed the triggers clearly and comprehensively.
 Going Overboard  (13+)
With his sister as a roommate, is Darien doomed to live a lonely, useless life?


This one is really shaping up. A bit more evocative, and a bit better hitting the notes.

Love your take.
So, what if the story in my novel--the real story--isn't about saving the locals from conquest and staging a rebellion against the Empire. What if the reason he resists the female lead's charms isn't because of his culturally superior attitude toward brainwashed slaves (and her equally paternalistic intention to influence his conscience) but rather about his love for the (apparent) villain?

What if the story is really a save-the-princess yarn and the endangered prince's life is forfeit the moment the hero starts his rebellion?

What if the hero is torn between honoring the ideals that this conquering officer of the empire has taught him, and protecting the man?

What if this story has grown far deeper than I can actually hope to even convey?
"What if this story has grown far deeper than I can actually hope to even convey?"

I have this same problem. I get caught up in everything that could happen and everything the story could mean. I have a terrible habit of backing out of a story rather than trying to write it, but I got some advice that basically said, "You'll never learn how to convey the aspects of your story until you actually practice." So, give it a shot. You have no idea if you can do it if you don't try.
Or you realize the enormity of what you have taken on
If you find you have written yourself into a corner, the best plot twists can come from that. This is where you are tested to use you imagination to overcome obstacles. It's fiction after all. You are the author and only you know what feels right as you write yourself through these predicaments. Even if you write it and don't like it, it's okay. You can rewrite and rewrite until you are happy. And reviewers are here for input when it gets sticky.

Hang in.

Added a couple new posts to my blog. A few thoughts.

Share your blog URL: https://www.Writing.Com/authors/jotokai/blog
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I haven't been on here in years! Are you still writing? I think I might give it another try...maybe. I certainly have had an interesting few years since I started travel nursing.
I hope you are well, and maybe we could get together before I go back to Maine (either next week or 3 months from now).
*Heart*
I've just posted an item in my portfolio:
 The Moment I Knew  (E)
Flash fic. Can't I just be alone right now?
Flash fiction. Check it out.
I've just edited an item in my portfolio:
 Catching Cold  (13+)
John finds he knows a good thing, but will he get the message?


Well, actually added the resolution. Lemme know if it is too easy an ending.
Just looking through one of my better stories. I added a first scene to help flesh out the world. It greatly enhances the character's world, makes it much more intelligible, but I fear that it is far too soft on the basics of scene, e.g. the goal, conflict and disaster are tepid. Love to hear what you think... it auto rewards. If your answer is, "yes it's boring, I quit early, cut it" just make sure you ramble enough to get the auto reward. Preferrably tell me how far you got? Or just ask me for a manual award. Additionally, ideas on how to ramp up the goal, conflict, and disaster would be appreciated!
The People of Glass   (18+)
Can orphan-refugee Sigrun find peace and justice or will she become the enemy?
#1877630 by Joto-Kai


Added benefit: there are three reviewable sections in that story alone, and a couple more about the same heroine as an adult. This one being the origin story, it likely has the best character arc. I will gladly reward all three with at least a thousand if you review!

Warning: just because the heroine is too young to wield her sword properly, don't assume that the whole thing will be sweet. Her origin is violent, 18 +.
P.S. The first section includes more than the lead in scene... it includes the inciting factor that causes her to become what she does, a very different breed of warrior than her aunt and uncle (and father and mother.)
I just finished retelling the oldest story I ever finished, at least that I remember. It's the tale of Stiles, who is gifted a magical necklace by a ghoulish gypsy. With it, if he will but put it on the neck of the lady he loves--by the end of Halloween--she will be his for life.

Needless to say, it came out a lot different. I was in fourth grade, and now I am in my forth decade. I was in my Edgar Allan Poe period. Wish I had the original, I might post it for comparison.
 A Girl like You  (13+)
Careful whom you take as your fairy godmother.
#2204146 by Joto-Kai

Looking at a first draft of a poem that I forgot about... inspired pile of rubbish. I'm like... was I for real? Maybe I think it should be easier by now.
Hi Joto-Kai!
Can you help me review my very first piece of writing on this website? The link is here[[https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2162960-Berry]]

Thank you!
I've just edited an item in my portfolio:
 
STATIC
I'll Do Better  (18+)
I know how you must feel, but these are bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad...


It's a tiny edit, but it hasn't seen any action in a LONG time. One of my best works, and just about the only one I set in the real world.

Check it out, let me know what you think or if you see any ideas.


In this piece, I get to lash out, put some of my more suspect thoughts--thoughts too edgy for a blog titled "Thoughts of Madman"--into the mouth of a character. This lout: an idiot, a troll, or does he have a point? For your consideration:
 Trans/action   (ASR)
What have I gotten myself into? Maybe I was happy being a ... (Short short)

Edited for punctuation and completeness; third person objective. Comments on the sanity of the character's ideas welcome too.
It came to me that you would never want to be one of my Mary-Sues. It's just... not a good thing, as the story evolves.

Carolie: evolved from a sheltered goody-two-shoes village healer, to eventually become the clone-daughter of the Dark Lord. Turns out, he-she starts out with good intentions, then gets frustrated and starts getting destructive. At that point, he-she spawns a clone who will put the original in his-her place, only to do the same 1000 years later.

Or, in Carolie's turn, maybe this year... her plan to save the day? She 'cures' the free will of her friends and soldiers, so that they will be more comfortable while facing the legions of the old Dark Lord *Facepalm*

Brannon: Started out as an interstellar rogue who gets caught up by accidentally 'buying' a symbol of the rebellion, a MacGuyver flying around playing Dr. Who.

Ends up as a brainwashed spy who thinks he's liberating people and is really just setting them up to be assimilated by his old empire. Oh, and meanwhile, the two people he cares about most in the universe are BOTH trying to 'fix' his brain, and the only thing he can be sure of, is that nothing he sees or thinks is worthy of trust.

Now, he has to choose. Easy enough, actually, except that the choice will determine the fates of millions of people. And that's before they move on to the next world.

In sum: Don't be a Mary Sue.

I will exact a heavy penalty. *Devilish*
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