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|Saw a baguette in a cage at the zoo. The keeper said it was bread in captivity.|
|"Incontinence Hotline... |
can you hold please?"
|Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. |
|A woman in labour suddenly shouted, "shouldn't ! Wouldn't ! Couldn't ! Didn't ! and Can't !" |
"Don't worry" said the Doctor. "Those are just contractions."
|Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. |
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.” in here.
| YGOLOHCYSP. |
|I've just invented a new word. |
|I’ve decided to make a different type of bread every day next week. |
Roll on Monday.
|"Knock knock." |
"Actually, it's to whom."
|I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts’ which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.|
|I started with nothing, and I've still got most of it.|