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nick  
Saw a baguette in a cage at the zoo. The keeper said it was bread in captivity.
I am so mad I laughed at this *Rolling*
Paul  
That was so bad I can’t stop laughing and I desperately wish I’d been the one to think of it. I adore a good pun.
nick  
"Incontinence Hotline...
can you hold please?"
nick  
Edited
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
nick  
A woman in labour suddenly shouted, "shouldn't ! Wouldn't ! Couldn't ! Didn't ! and Can't !"
"Don't worry" said the Doctor. "Those are just contractions."
nick  
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.” in here.
Time to pull the trigger on that slingshot, brother!
nick  
YGOLOHCYSP.
Reverse psychology.
nick  
I've just invented a new word.
PLAGIARISM.
*Laugh* That was great!!!


-*Castle*
_______________
"Every step taken today brings me one step closer to the White King!"
nick  
I’ve decided to make a different type of bread every day next week.
Roll on Monday.
Tomato bread, soda bread, cornbread, cinnamon raisin bread. sage and onion bread. Mmm...
I can smell your bread from here Nick. Nothing like homemade bread.
nick  
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"To."
"To who?"
"Actually, it's to whom."
Hi, Nick for my side of the pond. Welcome aboard WDC. I'm from the south near Sandbanks. Nice to have you here.
What do you like to write about?
Alexi *Thinker*
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
nick  
Hi Alexi.
I'm feeling a bit of a fraud. Thanks for the welcome message, but I've been here for donkeys years.
I deleted my account in November, but I just couldn't keep away. So I've started again from scratch.
Anyway Sandbanks a, wow! If you bump into Harry Redknapp give him my regards *BigSmile*.
Ha, Then welcome back Nick.*Laugh* Harry is actually patron of my partner's football club. We met him last year when he sat next to us in the second half, he is a really nice man and his house is amazing. my partner can't wait for the footie to start up again.
Alexi
nick  
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts’ which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.
nick  
I started with nothing, and I've still got most of it.