i don't think i could live knowing everything was controlled. that something was supposed to happen?well, maybe. but that everything i do has been carefully planned out by some being i don't even know? i don't think i could live with that.
are you real? like, really real? how do you know? can you prove it? you cant say the people you know, they could a be fake or a hallucination. you cant tell me the things you know, because it could be your subconscious keeping you in line. you cant say pain and feelings, i feel pain in dreams just as real as when i wake up. you dont know, do you? and if i believed i was fake, nothing could change my mind, because no one else is real.
So I don't leave all you people without a happy thought on the holidays, here is a happy one.
Imagine the best place you can think of. the living room, in front of a roaring fireplace, the roof of a house underneath as you stare into the night sky.
look next to you. someone you love is there. a relative, a lover, a child, it doesn't matter. they are there now, and so are you. you are both warm, and comfortable, and the love is so strong you couldn't cut it with diamond
life is perspective. if someone looks at a tree, and you both say the leaves are green, then thats fine and dandy. but what if one of you saw them as, for example the others version of purple. well, how would you know? he was born and raised to think that the leaves are green, no matter what color he actually saw. if the sky was green and the grass was blue, but we still said the sky was blue and the grass was green, who would be any the wiser? its all about perspective.
life cant be simple. we weren't made simply. we don't think simply. we don't do anything simple anymore. we went from walking to creating big metal machines that have a billion different things going on to get you from here to there. when someone asks "why cant my life just be simple?" i want to say all those things. instead, just to add to the complexity, i give my condolences and move on.
my dads going to texas for a few months. we are going to spend the day together, then his and mom will go and leave me and my brothers with our neighbor/second family. i dont know what i would do in texas. i guess miss my best friend/crush. i almost hope he doesnt get the job. is that mean? to hope that your dad doesn't get his dream, so you can live yours?
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I'm glad I wont be just some rotting corpse when I die, eventually I will go back to the earth. back to where I came from. feeding the hand that has fed the human race for so long
how far would you go to save yourself? if you saw someone, just someone random, who was in danger, what would you do? would you risk your life, risk others, to save someone random? what if it was a relative, a parent? probably, most of you would say "yes, of course" and feel like that was the truth. but how many times have you had to choose between yourself and someone you love? maybe you have had to, and maybe you haven't, but only a few people really know what they would do.
i always wonder why we, as in humans, even bother going on. what are we going to achieve? maybe killing a planet, maybe preventing life to go on for other creatures. and i know the real answer too, and i hate it.
its instinct, the instinct to live and be better than all other opposing forces. do we keep zoo's to let us see the animals, or to prove we can tame the wild beast? we are messed up, us humans. but we cant help what we do, destroying is just a habit we cant shake
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